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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask for ideas please - how do you home school a child whilst caring for a very lively toddler and working?

44 replies

beachbreeze · 27/03/2020 16:22

I'm feeling embarrassed. I haven't managed more than an hour of school work with my 9 year old over the whole week. I'm wfh and have a two year old.

Friends have suggested sending her to her bedroom to do it, but then she can't ask me questions, and also my toddler stands crying and screaming at the stair gate.

I can divert toddler's attention briefly, but I'm working as well.

Any ideas please?!

OP posts:
somegoodnewsforonce · 27/03/2020 16:23

To answer your title - you simply can't.

Do you have a partner? How many hours are you working? Does your toddler have a nap?

HairyToity · 27/03/2020 16:23

Short bursts?

Embracelife · 27/03/2020 16:25

Just get your 9 year old to read books. Lots of reading.
Watch some documentaries
Make and create.
Play with toddler

All in short bursts.

Embracelife · 27/03/2020 16:25

Also cooking is good activity.

beachbreeze · 27/03/2020 16:26

I don't have a partner. Toddler gave up naps when he was only a year old!

OP posts:
beachbreeze · 27/03/2020 16:29

I'm almost relieved to hear it's not really possible! I thought I was missing something obvious that would help!

My older child loves to read, and does do that every day. She also has written poems etc from bed. Maybe I could ask her to do some maths before reading as I do the bedtime routine with the toddler.

OP posts:
mindutopia · 27/03/2020 16:31

You need to break things up into chunks of time. Do you have a partner? I get up and work early in the morning and dh does everything with dc until he is ready to go to work. I can also work as needed all evening and dh would do bath and bedtime and tidying up.

During the day we do a mix of taking a walk/outdoor play, school work (no more than an hour at a time) while I feed toddler snacks or plop him in front of the tv or during his nap, and then older one plays or watches tv while I spend time with younger one, repeat all day. I get work done while they are both quietly occupied, but it's not much during the day. Most work gets done in mornings and evenings, and my employer just has to accept that I'm not getting everything done (almost no one is at the moment if you're working from home, that's the new reality, standards just have to slip). We get about 2 hours of school work done a day, but not every day.

I do that 3 days a week (have been home schooling a few weeks now already as self-isolating), the other 2 weekdays, it's more relaxed. Watching videos on YouTube about a topic of interest, doing some creative activities, baking or a nature walk we can build some learning into. So it takes the pressure off to 'do school' every day. Kids don't learn if they're constantly being forced to sit and do lessons. So there's a lot of flexibility and I can get work done when things go well and they play nicely outside together. Mine are 7 & 2.

Whatsername177 · 27/03/2020 16:33

Do small amounts at a time. Let your toddler watch baby john on YouTube. It is annoying but hypnotic. We allow our 3yo to watch it - usually very occasionally. However, this last week it's been a lifesaver.

beachbreeze · 27/03/2020 16:34

Thanks for the small chunks advice.

Sorry I should have said in my first post that I'm a single parent.

Baby John is sounding tempting! Grin

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SpruceTree · 27/03/2020 16:34

You let them watch BBC bite size or educational things on CBBC.
Maths Whizz is great and they can do it in their own.
Get some puzzle books for kids.
Jigsaws
Drawing.

peacebypeace · 27/03/2020 16:34

Not possible.

somegoodnewsforonce · 27/03/2020 16:37

Breakfast time could you all sit and 9yo could do some maths while you all eat and toddler is distracted by food?
Reading she can do on her own obviously.
Can you spare an hour in the evening for 9yo school work when toddler is in bed?

Other than that really don't worry, we're all just doing what we can to get through this at the moment.

SunshineOutdoors · 27/03/2020 16:37

Honestly? It might be crap but I’m not teaching mine at all. Not this week when we’re all getting used to it. If all you do is survive and read a bit to them they’ll be fine. I think it’s far more important to provide a secure, loving home at first and worry about any schooling later.

beachbreeze · 27/03/2020 16:41

Thanks sunshineoutdoors, I would rather that we are all happy at the moment as well. I just keep seeing the other parents on my FB feed sharing all the work their children are doing, and feeling awful!

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PermanentTemporary · 27/03/2020 16:41

Reading.
Cooking with you.
Later bedtime so she can do some special maths just with you??
Do you have/could you borrow or order a musical instrument she could have a try with? Lots of music teachers can do remote teaching - piano is hard but put the word out, see who's teaching locally. Some might even have instrumental they will lend.

somegoodnewsforonce · 27/03/2020 16:42

@beachbreeze honestly don't bother with Facebook. There's no point in comparing.

beachbreeze · 27/03/2020 16:42

somegoodnewsforonce the breakfast idea is good. I think if I plan it the evening before I can get her to do that

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MightyMother85 · 27/03/2020 16:42

This is bonkers. You should not be working or at least not full time. Does your employer know your situation? It is really tough but you need to be taking some time off - maybe working half days and going onto parental leave for the other half.

Medianoche · 27/03/2020 16:43

You can’t. Give her and yourself a break. The world is broken right now and coping is more important than academic work right now. She’s 9 and will have plenty of time for academic stuff later.
Let her play and don’t forget how much broader learning can be. If she can design a few activities to do with the toddler, that’ll be useful learning for both of them as well as winning you a little time, but at the moment, getting through the day and finding the occasional smile is enough to count as a win.

stairway · 27/03/2020 16:43

I have the same problem , my 16 month old screams with jealousy when I give her brother any attention whatsoever.

SunshineOutdoors · 27/03/2020 16:44

I’ve had that with the Facebook thing too. They’re only sharing one snapshot though - I’m assuming no one is coping as well as they seem on Facebook because if I don’t I’ll just feel shit. Just don’t look/scroll on

somegoodnewsforonce · 27/03/2020 16:44

@MightyMother85 most people can't afford to cut their hours or take unpaid parental leave to be fair

dairyfairies · 27/03/2020 16:44

just don't. Something gotta give. I gave a child in primary, an older child with severe learning difficulties and other issues and I work. I cannot homeschool. At all. felt shit the first couple days about it but there is nothing I can do. don't beat yourself up - it will be a few months and not the end of the world.

LGY1 · 27/03/2020 16:45

Are your employers flexible as to when you do your work?
Myself and my husband are “tag teaming” which you have said you can’t do, but in essence I’m just aiming to get my 7 1/2 hours in at some point in a 24 hour period.
My employer is VERY understanding, my DH’s is not & expect him to be available as normal.

itsstillgood · 27/03/2020 16:50

Long term home educator here.
Small bursts.
Make use of online programmes - lots are offering schools free access hopefully schools will be passing them on.
There are some excellent YouTube channels like Crash Course Kids and TedEd. She could watch in the day and then you could discuss over tea.
Make use of the many video lessons being offered online. The PE/dance ones could be used to engage toddler too.
Read together in the evening. I suggest you to her.
That is enough. Let her explore hobbies and interests.

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