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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fence being damaged by neighbour

27 replies

Nessy321 · 27/03/2020 15:33

Been living here for a few years and every summer same thing thud thud thud against our fence. It’s not a gentle kick it’s literally like fireworks going off, you can hear it inside the house with tv on. Previous Fence was absolutely wrecked by constant kicking of football. Very recently installed a brand new one.

I don’t want to speak to neighbours as they already bloody know we replaced it recently. I’m getting really worked up that our property is being wrecked. Why not kick the other side that they own. He’s been kicking our fence all week. I can see some damage already.

Sorry just need to vent. I don’t want confrontation and dont want to cause any awkwardness but it’s really annoying me now. I don’t want to say anything to them. The money we spent on it.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 27/03/2020 15:35

Well, the only chance you have of stopping it is to say something.

Original poster
Nessy321 · 27/03/2020 15:37

The whole family is inside the house how can they not tell him to stop. I would never let my kids damage someone property. I just find it shocking they just letting him carry on damaging our fence. I can’t say anything especially not now with the stress everyone has with the virus etc.

OP posts:
userxx · 27/03/2020 15:37

You've got to say something. I've got my waterpistol at the ready for when the little shit next door to me starts.

SewItGoes · 27/03/2020 15:40

I sympathise with not wanting awkwardness, but you're going to have to say something, if you want it to stop. They're the ones being awkward, by damaging someone else's property (and making an antisocial amount of noise in the process).

My fear would be that they won't stop even after you've spoken to them, so you may end up having to take further action. The kind of person who kicks a ball against someone else's fence to the point that it has to be replaced probably isn't likely to simply apologise and stop (though I hope I'm wrong about that).

SewItGoes · 27/03/2020 15:43

You don't have to put up with this just because of the virus. You can speak to him through/over the fence. As for the stress, he's increasing your stress every time he kicks the dratted ball against your fence! His family's "stress" is no greater than yours or anyone else's.

Soubriquet · 27/03/2020 15:46

Either say something, or keep quiet and replace the fence everytime they break it

Floralnomad · 27/03/2020 15:47

We had this issue with our old neighbours and it did improve a bit after I spoke to them , if necessary ask the child to go inside and fetch a parent then you can have the conversation over the fence .

Original poster
Nessy321 · 27/03/2020 15:49

I just don’t know if I’m being unreasonable - tried to do the voting thing but never used it so didn’t work lol. I have in the past just looked out of upstairs window and that seems to have worked for a day but next day begins again. I feel like a right cow and guilty but being cooped up at home I can’t get away from the torpedo sounds

Phoned my mum to have a rant and she said it doesn’t matter and I need to be more easy going.

OP posts:
userxx · 27/03/2020 15:55

Phoned my mum to have a rant and she said it doesn’t matter and I need to be more easy going.

I paid £1800 for my new fencing - I'm firing the little fucker with water.

DysonFury · 27/03/2020 15:55

Hammer a load of nails through the fence?

RossPoldarksChest · 27/03/2020 16:01

I don't agree with your mum; did SHE pay out to replace the one the neighbour previously damaged? Is SHE the one stuck inside with the thuds going through her head?

You DO need to say something, sooner rather than later. It's unfair on several levels and they may be assuming it doesn't matter because you haven't told them it does.

m00rfarm · 27/03/2020 16:12

Love the idea of nails through the fence!

Floralnomad · 27/03/2020 16:16

With us it was less about the damage to the fence and more about the damage to my nerves as the constant thud , thud , thud was literally driving me bonkers particularly as the children involved were teenagers and could quite easily have gone to one of the numerous open spaces nearby to play ( pre - Covid day’s obviously)

mumwon · 27/03/2020 16:21

spray paint the fence when dc is other side a nice shade of dark green perhaps evil Grin paint goes nicely through fences when you spray - our dn has put our fence back up after the storm (it fell backwards into his garden & dh isn't strong enough to put it up) we are lucky with neighbours - long may it last (I wouldn't do anything nasty to them & I am actually joking op Grin)

CeriseClementine · 27/03/2020 16:23

As long as you're not being overdramatic and it is as constant as you say, you should of course mention it. It doesn't need to be nasty or create an argument - just a polite 'hi, could you please stop kicking the ball against the fence please?' and the same to the parents.

I have a bit of an issue from the other side of the fence at the minute - we have an elderly lady next door who's also not long replaced her fence (which has been held up by the Grace of God and not much else for the two years we've lived here). The last two storms finished it off and down it came.

Not only has she faux-cheerily told us our dc caused the last fence to come down (which they absolutely did not because it was twenty years old at least and loose and full of holes when we moved in) but she's been on pins hovering in the garden since the new one went up.

We have three boys who play football in the garden daily, NOT against or even near the new bloody fence. But it's inevitable that the ball occasionally goes wide and taps the fence and she's getting more and more shouty each time, instantly appearing and telling the boys to stay away from her fence and she's paid a lot of money for it and won't see it broken like the last one. She also loudly tuts from her back door if the children dare to laugh too loudly now.

It's awkward because we've got on well until now and I don't want to cause bad feeling...but nor will I have my dc creeping around their own garden speaking in a whisper and afraid to play. The next conversation will be me telling her she needs to suck it up and that unfortunately she no longer has elderly and silent neighbours and needs to bloody well get used to it.

CeriseClementine · 27/03/2020 16:26

Love the idea of nails through the fence!

Incredibly dangerous to the children and a very stupid idea. If my neighbour did this every single one would get banged back through with a hammer regardless of any damage it caused.

Original poster
Nessy321 · 27/03/2020 16:32

I’m constantly telling my kids not to shout and scream outside. Their kids are making so much noise right now! They are really annoying me. My DH won’t say anything so it’s left to me all these years. It’s so bloody dangerous that their bloody balls could hit one of my kids so I tend to not go out when they’re there which now thanks to corona is every day from morning till night

OP posts:
Windyatthebeach · 27/03/2020 16:35

Paint their side with anti burglar paint..

MintyMabel · 27/03/2020 16:36

If it’s between properties, isn’t it a shared fence?

SpruceTree · 27/03/2020 16:38

Can you plant a hedge instead? They can't kick a ball off it and it's great for wildlife. Looks nicer than a fence too.

lmcneil003 · 27/03/2020 16:45

I don’t want to speak to neighbours

No other choice. Feel the fear, and do it anyway

RandomMess · 27/03/2020 16:56

Take your fence panels out and don't have a fence anymore

Funnyface1 · 27/03/2020 17:06

Put a note through saying you're not knocking because of distancing but can they please stop it with the constant ball whacking up the fence because it's new and wasn't cheap.

Khione · 27/03/2020 17:40

Plant pyracantha right up to the fence. Enough of the sharp thorns will go through to burst the ball. Keep it well trimmed and a small fence on your side to prevent hurting your kids.

Waveysnail · 27/03/2020 17:43

I replaced entire fence around our garden so it was behind neighbours to make an double fence as mine love to kick a football just for this reason