Should my DH be working if I am SI due to pregnancy?

[Ncforcfthreads]

I am 7/8 months prenant. My DH is classed as a keyworker but works with loads of people around the country, driving to work in a van with other people for 3 hours+ there and then the same back again.

I don't want him working. We have some savings. Maybe enough for a couple of months. Maybe 3 if stretched.
Being a key worker he cant get the 80% as he should be working but surely he camt if he lives with a pregnant person. We are getting mixedessages from his work who want to kewp him working. Does anyone know if he can take the 12 weeks off with me?

We also have 3 other dc to feed. And rent.

Why aibu?

If it was effecting women and their unborn child, we’d have known and been warned by now I think.
But I understand why you feel he should be staying at home. Don’t want to take any chances. I also understand why he is reluctant to do so.

Just to reassure you, there’s a vulnerable group (which includes pregnant women) and should should be stringently socially distancing. Unless you have serious health problems, you won’t fall into the group of people who need to “shield” for 12 weeks. In many families, even where someone is very unwell, you cannot have the entire household at home for 12 weeks. It’s only the extremely vulnerable person who needs to do so.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/guidance-on-shielding-and-protecting-extremely-vulnerable-persons-from-covid-19/guidance-on-shielding-and-protecting-extremely-vulnerable-persons-from-covid-19

There are lots of things he can do to help protect you such as; changing his clothes and showing as soon as he gets home.

Yabu neither of you needs to self isolate for 12 weeks with no symptoms and you quite clearly need the money of his working plus it isn’t up to you it’s his call.

Someone who doesn’t live with you shouldn’t be dropping in though.

My friend works for the nhs as a nurse. She's living at home and isolating herself in her bedroom away from the rest of the family. Maybe your husband should do this?

I don't know, i just feel so worried that we will lose the baby or one of the other children will get ill and god knows what.
My mental state is in shambles anyway and he was considering demoting himself to be at home more anyway but now he has completely U turned and I just feel... like I dont want to touch him.

One of his supervisors is self isolating for the same reason and I just feel like we can manage for at least 2 months easily and more like 3 months if we try.

His job isn't one where you can stay 2m apart. He would be coming into close contact with at least 30 other people from all over the country every shift. There are no hand washing facilities and then he has to stay in a van for hours in close contact with his colleagues for hours.
He has been disinfecting the van handles but thats all he can do really (no hand sanitiser in anyshop).

He even said himself that the company are making out to be essential when really he is doing none essential work. The only essential work he could he doing isn't being done because half of the team who can do the essential work are self isolating or have gone abroad back to their families.

I just want him with me, safe. He has taken all of his holiday pay and now has run out. I'm scared.

Plus @Bananacloud
Not too long ago everyone was saying 'im under 70 with no underlying health conditions so i will be fine ' and now people have died who are 30/40.
How long until babies and pregnant women start dying? Things are changing every day. We have a toddler and 2 other children. I am just so scared.
I would rather use our savings than potentially die/ get very very ill.

His is a high risk job too - with hospitals over loaded and with my luck i am so scared he will get injured and not be able to access treatment.

I know im probably in hormone overload but can you blame me?!

Both me and my husband are front line workers for the nhs and I’m 20 weeks pregnant. Our advice from the royal college of obstetricians & gynaecologists are saying pregnant staff can still work up until 28 weeks. So I am still working but trying my best to keep the the negative patients. However after 28 weeks I will have to be put on admin work. But my husband will be working with positive patients the whole time.

Unfortunately until this goes away any of you could pick it up from supermarkets or even on walks. If it relieves your stress have him go off unpaid but when the baby comes will you still be worrying about it? Because this virus won’t be going away anytime soon unfortunately.

@daisy95
How on earth are you coping? I am very worried about having a newborn during all this- although I wont be going out ANYWHERE.
I know he could pick it up anywhere but I also know that some of his colleagues have been so blasé about even basic handwashing and social distancing that it is causing me so much worry.
I was worried about his work anyway, especially when he has to go on extra training corses because someone dies ffs. I wish he worked in an office so he could be home with me and the kids.
Are Amazon still delivering non essentials? I need about 10kg of cotton wool.

Of course he can’t take 12 weeks off. The only solution really if you want to completely take the risk away, is for him to stay somewhere else for the duration. I have two friends who are frontline NHS and both have temporarily moved out of their family home.

@Ncforcfthreads
I’ve just done my research & tried to stay as calm as I can. In reality aswell it’s my job & unfortunately comes part of it.
When you say healthy people have died you’re correct but that 1 in however many who haven’t.

As a family you will have to make a decision but honestly after 3 months what will you do then?
Put in place things to help if he carries on working such a removing his uniform at the door and wiping his phone & keys down. Then going straight to shower without touching anything & his uniform going straight into the wash. As long as he is responsible with his hand washing he should be fine.

Yes amazon is still delivering 🙂