Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

male managers behaviour towards me. stalking?

1 reply

rollNsausage · 27/03/2020 08:12

Trying not to be too outing but I want thoughts from other MNetters please on what to do

So I had several colleagues and managers on my social media - twitter, linkedin, instagram - but not my Facebook which is strictly for family only.

I never post anything personal on my other accounts - I only post things on these pages about work, study, networking. Never anything about my family or social life. Never anything illegal or inappropriate. Just pictures of me at x conference etc. I am always smartly and professionally dressed in case anyone wonders that too!

One of my managers made me uncomfortable with his comments, and how many times he was liking / viewing etc. It seemed rather obsessive, so I removed him as a connection / unfollowed although did not block him. I did the same for all my other colleagues as I decided I didn't want anyone from work on any of my social media to be on the safe side.

He is in his mid 50s I think and I'm mid 30s.

I have now learned that he went to HR and complained about me unfriending him. He also told HR that I am studying during work time (I'm not, its a law course in my own time, with my own money, distance learning). He told HR that I am places I am not supposed to be (I absolutely am not and easily evidenced this). He also told HR I wasn't sick (disability related) when I was, because my profile showed I was still doing that course (as I said above, it was distance learning that I could do from home)

I complained but HR have done nothing because I chose to have him as a connection. Yes I did at the time, but I did not consent to him making uncomfortable comments. I did not consent to him effectively stalking me. I did not consent to him sharing the contents with anyone else. I did not consent to him lying about where I am and what I am doing.

What do I do now? I feel unhappy with how HR are handling this. It feels really dismissive. I feel uncomfortable around this manager now.

I have blocked him completely but I don't think it should me alone who does something?

OP posts:
Weregoingonanadventure · 27/03/2020 08:21

But he didnt do anything.
Liking your posts... that's a normal part of social media and would be very hard to evidence ad stalking. HR cant do anything about that.

What are you talking about consent for? He doesnt need your consent to share your social media content with others. HR cant do anything. He doesnt need your consent to report your social media content. HR need to investigate.

The only thing you can really complain about st the moment are the false, malicious allegations. But if he can show that he really believe there were issues then they cant do anything.

You need to keep a diary of all interactions going forward,; email yourself a memo each time. Any more complaints or comments made by him as well. Then speak to HR once you can show he is harassing you.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread