To stop breastfeeding

[HappyHoppyHippo]

My DD is 14 months old and sleeps for no longer than 2 hrs at a time, if I'm lucky.
I'm so tired, I feel ill and achy all the time.
I've had enough.
She has a bath, story and I put her to be for 8pm, she then wakes and will not stop crying until I fed her back to sleep.
She ends up in bed with us and the same thing happens all night.

I've tried not letting her sleep with us but she just screams, screams until she sick.
I've tried running her back instead of feeding her but it's not working.

AIBU to stop breastfeeding so she sleeps?
Will it even help?
How do you stop?!

Please help! I'm just so tired.

I have a 15 month old and have the same problem. He's my third crap sleeper so I'm rather accepting of it this time round.

Although I was bitching earlier about having to start my day at 4.15 at the moment.

The only way I think stopping breastfeeding will work well is just not being a round free a few nights.
Which isn't possible at the moment.

My eldest stopped breast feeding at 11 months and still didn't sleep through until he was 5.

Is she teething?

Has she ever slept better than every 2 hours?

YADNBU. I stopped around this time with DC1 and within a month and a half he was pretty much sleeping through the night, maybe a wake up or two, but this was like heaven to me. He's 2 now and has been reliably sleeping through since 16/17 months. Best thing I did.
It meant DH putting him to bed at night with cuddles and a sippy cup of milk. I gave him long life milk at night when he woke for the comfort of not being on the boob. By about 18 months, I'd changed it to water only after teeth cleaning as he was sleeping well.
Good luck

@DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou 5!! Oh no! Poor u!
When DD was newborn sometimes she would sleep for 3-4hrs, its definitely got worse and my nipples are sore because I know she's useing me as a dummy, not actually feeding.

@comeon how long did it take for your DS to take his cup at night? My DD just screams and refuses it

Thank you both!

Could you manage a few bad nights to just wean her off using you as a dummy?

I just wonder if this is the right time to stop BF, with the virus about. If it wasn't then it sounds as though it would be.

Yanbu. Your body, your choice.

However, the choice is pretty irreversible, and there are shortages and restrictions. Unlike normal times, consider if you would be glad to know that DD has a milk supply as long as you are basically fed and hydrated.

At about that age I started refusing DS feeds if not in routine etc. Night weaning whilst still doing a morning/evening feed might not be much harder than weaning all in one jump.

I night weaned at this age and it worked wonders! No need to give up completely though.

Do you have a partner? I would send them in to comfort every other time she wakes. I had to start doing this with DD. If DH goes in she knows she’s not getting milk, and she definitely takes longer to settle but she does eventually. If I go in she will scream till I feed her. DH doesn’t particularly like it, as he knows I can settle her faster but I got to a point where both nipples were bleeding after a feed and it hurt so much I couldn’t keep doing it (and she was over 6 months at this point). It’s really helped in our case and now DD will only wake occasionally for a feed at night which I will do, but if she wakes more than once I send DH.

I know what your saying about the shortages, I've even said myself I'm glad I'm breastfeeding so I don't need to worry but after another terrible night... Arggh!

I hadn't thought about just stopping at night, I thought it would be an all or nothing type of thing.

@ChocolateChipMuffin2016 I do have a DH, like yours he thins it's just quicker for me to do it so I've always done it. I'm also a stay at home parent so I've always been the one to go without the sleep.

It’s hard-I gave up the night feeds at 18 months but how we did it is she started staying overnight at my MILs and DH slept in with her and I stayed in another room. You might be able to do the latter.
I carried on til 3yrs in the day and at first she cashed in massively during the day.

I would first try feeding early and then letting your DH do the night time routine and settling without you so it is completely removed from feeding. I did this with a 5 month old and it dramatically reduced the night wakings from every 1 to 2 hours to 2 a night. Once this is established I would then try as chocolatechipmuffin suggests if needed to reduce the night wakings further.

14 months of breastfeeding and that much broken sleep? You’ve definitely put your shift in and should be proud of yourself it’s bloody hard work. If you need more rest and you’ll be happier that way then do it! Babies just need a rested and happy mum. You’re doing great.

What @Saturdayk said

Thanks everyone ❤️

I'm going to try and stop the night feeds... Wish me luck!

Good luck! Agree with the above

I am in exactly the same position. I stopped feeding my DD around this age and she started sleeping through but this virus has put me off stopping completely as both kids also have food intolerances.

Everytime I have tried to night wean in the past I've given up quickly because I can't stand him crying at night. He's in with us as we're in a two bed but he hates co sleeping. Some nights I'm up feeding him and putting him back in the cot hourly and it's so hard.

I don't actually know what to try because everything but feeding just makes him so angry and he falls over and hurts himself in the cot

@LipstickTaserrr my DD gets so angry too, she's made herself sick :(
hope you get some sleep soon.

Good luck OP.
In answer to your question, he was already drinking from a sippy cup as he was at nursery during the day. I used one of the mam beakers with a spout - it was recommended to us as an ideal for transitioning from boob to bottle. I tried a few and he took that one best so stuck with that one for night. He was already stopped in the day by that point as he was on cows milk with nursery and grandparents. I night weaned first, then weaned him from his bedtime feed.
It was definitely the right time. I had wondered whether I was doing the right thing, but I didn't look back. I'm glad I did, as he sleeps so well and I got back 'me' with the extra sleep.

Are you me OP? DD is 14 months and currently waking approximately every 1.5 hours. She has never slept through, but once upon a time I used to get the occasional 3 or even 4 hour stretch from her. No such luck these days. I am broken but genuinely don't know how to even start fixing this!

I had this - first full nights sleep at 17 months. It's gruelling. What I did was start with the easy ones first. So the first wake ups eg 10 or 11pm when I wasn't so tired. Then did anything to comfort except BF. So loads of cuddles mainly. Then they start to learn that they aren't always BF to sleep. It took a lot longer to drop the 2 or 4 am ones though as I had less willpower! Actually what finished it in the end was going away for the weekend, apparently it wasn't too bad! Good luck

Have a google of the Dr Jay Gordon method of night weaning

Good luck

I did look at that method but felt like it would be too confusing. He doesn't know what time it is, all he knows is he had a sleep in the cot and I fed him back to sleep but next time he had a sleep in the cot I didn't etc. It's all so hard

2nd the jay gordon method

The other thing is - have you tried an actual
Dummy? My first was (in the words of the midwife) a very sucky baby and he just needed it. It might give you some respite.

In any event, you are DNBU to stop!