Virus being caught at home

[Minty2020]

I applaud the NHS, they are absolutely amazing brave people who are risking their health for our country . However, I am stressed out as my husband is a Dr in AE dealing on the frontline of this awful virus. He’s very high risk of catching the virus despite his PPE kit, I don’t know how he copes mentally with it . I am also very nervous he’s going to bring the virus home to our children, our one son has slight asthma (usually playing sports). My husband and I haven’t anywhere else to move to so we can separate. I am really scared to tell him how stressed I am about our kids getting the virus as it’s would seem very ungrateful and unsupportive . The fear is real though despite trying to socially distance the kids and excessive cleaning.
Anyone else here have the same problems and worry from either working with the virus or living with someone who does ?

I don’t have an answer for you OP. I wanted to send you a virtual hug and validate how you feel.

Is there someone you can talk to IRL to help you with your feelings of anxiety? It’s still early days so would be helpful to get real help with that (coming from someone who dealt with my own extreme anxiety).

You must know deep down if your kids get it then they’ll almost certainly be fine!

It might be worth posting on Facebook, I've seen a few posts recently offering free accommodation to NHS workers, perhaps you have a local good samaritan

I get you . I work in the NHS and this crosses my mind too . I reassure myself with the fact the majority of those who catch it will be fine and that includes myself but particularly children - this is true . Tell him your fears - highly likely similar thoughts have crossed his mind too .

Totally understand your worries. No option is ideal but he would be able to stay in a hotel paid for by government away from you and the kids. Unfortunately the two options are to live with the risk of him bringing it in vs not seeing him for a few weeks - neither are attractive I know. There are many thousands of people in your position and they don’t all have the hotel option.

It’s difficult. I feel you I am an an anaesthetist so sorta in the same boat. . I am sleeping in a different room so I don't breathe on my hubby when I sleep . I am meticulous about clothes. I change once I get into work to scrubs and I don’t wear work clothes at home. Ask him to find out what his other colleagues are doing . Kids do get sick with it but it’s usually mild and they do ok so try not to worry too much.

If your husband works in ED you must know that children seem to be almost bulletproof when it comes to COVID 19? It's hugely reassuring to me and my colleagues that we are not seeing children poorly with this virus. Discuss your fears with him and I'm sure he can reassure you.

I understand OP, my son in law is a Dr and my daughter is 30 weeks pregnant. She worries for him and for her and the baby. We're all worried as well even though they have a protocol at home regarding clothes and scrubs when he gets home.

yanbu at all to worry.

I saw a fb post from an NHS nurse who is practicing "distancing" within her own home because of this risk - work and outdoor clothes being either put straight into the washing machine when she gets home or stored in a dedicated wardrobe that contains no home/indoor clothing. on arrival home she does a complete decontamination (every stitch of clothing into either washing machine or said wardrobe, thorough shower and scrub of every inch of her body before getting dressed in home clothes. only then will she even be in the same room as her husband and children, and even then she is keeping 2m distant and just sitting across the room from them, and treating every surface she touches as contaminated so gets disinfected. in the morning she says goodbye in pyjamas and will leave the house as soon as she is wearing her work clothes, with no touching or interacting.

it sounds an incredibly stressful and onerous routine to require of oneself and honestly I do not know if she is being overly paranoid and all that is unnecessary.

this is a very stressful time and there is no way to eliminate that stress. if dh found alternate accommodation (and there have been various snippets of news about properties near hospitals being made available to nhs staff for free) then the burden of being separated would be massively stressful and distressing. if you decided to follow an extreme hygiene regime like the above then following it would be stressful and there would be inevitable slipups which would cause greater anxiety. obviously your current situation is equally causing stress and anxiety. so there isn't a path open that isn't going to be really difficult - none of the options will set your heart at rest. so you need to talk with DH and together work out which forms and sources of stress and anxiety you can all best endure.

I know it's not much comfort, but the overwhelmingly most likely outcome if you and DC get it is that you will all be fine. this virus is horrible but isn't actually very deadly - the reason it's so serious is because it is so infectious that almost everyone will get it sooner or later, and if that happens over a short timescale then the small fraction who get it so badly they need hospital will nevertheless be many times the capacity of our hospitals, but that doesn't mean the risk to any specific individual is usually very great. your DC's asthma isn't a huge additional risk factor.

I'm in a similar though not same position. DP a teacher and working with children who are not able to distance and also dealing with lots of bodily fluids. I suggested that he does a longer stint in school rather than the odd day which is what is currently being asked, so that it's done all in one go, and during and after that time isolated in the house as we have what is an old granny flat attached. I felt very mean suggesting it and he is not willing to do this - but I am worried for myself and the children that while we are keeping away from other people he is going to be bringing the virus in to the house. We don't know, do we, who may have an undiagnosed condition and I don't want to be open to risk.

Most hospitals are paying for hospital staff to stay in hotels if they wish to keep their distance from their family to prevent them giving Coronavirus to their family. I’d suggest he discuss it with his manager. Stay well.

Similar position. Apart from thorough decontamination, our plan is if/when I get infected, I go down to the lower level in a guest room and stay there for the two + weeks that is needed. With a bucket, if you get my gist. Whether this will stop our family being infected, I don't know. DC has a history of asthma, so we worry about that, too. There is no best, infection-free route. We just have to do the best we can.

I would be the same. It's very likely that health workers will eventually catch it. But hes a Dr. Ask him what he thinks. Plus take comfort in knowing he's going to know what to do if you get it.

I think you need to talk to him. Sending you a hug xx

Our hospital is definitely making bookings for doctors and nurses in local hotels where it is not safe for them to go home. He should check if that is the case for him.

The thing is I don't see how saying children are almost bullet proof is that helpful. Doctors and nurses seem.to have a higher chance of getting ill if you look at Italy me China . They can bring it home to their spouse who might also get very ill..

My fear for D'S who is 15 and an only child is that both DH and I die of it not that he will die (both in our 50s with mild underlying conditions). I appreciate DS will be fine physically but being orphaned is no joke as my niece and nephew can attest to.
I know however that this is really very unlikely for DH and me.

Op, if you have young children you are of an age that this is even less unlikely to happen but the fact is.your husband is a bit more.likely to catch the virus so I do understand the anxiety, even while saying that the risk of either of you being very ill is still much less than everything being fine

You do have the option for your DH to.stay in a hotel but I appreciate how difficult that would be to do. There are no easy answers.

I hope you find a solution that works for your family and we are all so so grateful for the work your husband does .

Similar here. DH is moving out today, as we have a DC with a lung condition. Grim, but the stress of him possibly bringing the virus home is getting to all of us.
There have been amazing kind offers made here, for holiday cottages and Air BNB.

I am much more worried as the DP of a hospital doctor about how he is going to cope mentally with the crisis, the extra work, the helplessness. It is nowhere close yet to how it’s going to be.
Also, we’re not the best at appreciating gestures like nationwide clapping, after years of underfunding of hospitals and eroding of NHS salaries. Yay, give them all a patronising clap and video ourselves doing it...

My friend is a nurse and her dh is high risk. They have been told to not eat meals in the same room or share a bed for the foreseeable future.

As soon as she gets home all clothes are taken off by the front door, she then walks through and puts them in the washing machine on a hot wash.
Next, straight upstairs for a shower after which she will thoroughly clean the bathroom.
After getting dried and dressed she goes back downstairs for tea and eats in another room whilst chatting through the door.

Her dh is high risk though so maybe you could do similar but without eating separately. I think the main point is that your dh removes all his day clothes and has a shower before seeing/chatting with all of you and try to maintain distance.

I am in exactly the same situation as you.

I have just accepted the fact that DH will, at some point, get the virus and bring it home. I really don't know what to suggest. I'm just keeping the place very clean, and keeping myself busy so that I don't think about it too much.

Sorry if that's unhelpful, I just think it's worth being honest at a time like this.

I’m an Airbnb host, as Airbnb’s have shut down to general public lots of them are offering their places free to NHS staff or for a nominal fee. Worth looking into?

Thank you, I thought I was be incredibly selfish thinking of this! Thank you for putting your health at risk , I now hope people will appreciate our amazing NHS ❤️❤️❤️

Yes he’s sleeping in the spare room, he’s a general surgeon and I
not being medical myself I didn’t know you can catch it via blood as well. He changes into blues and back into his clothes on return. I am paranoid if he has the slightest cough 😂 Thank you so much for facing the problem where others are trying to hide . Total respect ✊

It would help if we had more information on how to keep ourselves and our homes safe.

I'm a childminder. We've been told to make sure everyone washes their hands frequently and to practise high standards of hygiene. I was shocked to read about people changing and showering when they come home and I'm now very worried for my own family.

I have two children, both mildly asthmatic. DH always gets a chest infection when he gets a cold and has previously had pneumonia. I'm inviting possibly infectious children into my home. With the best will in the world, I can't keep our home as clean as I suspect it should be in these circumstances.

My dh isn't nhs but is a supermarket worker so is dealing with the general public all day every day with zero ppe. You have no idea what all these people have got and the virus they could be spreading and I have been mentally planning how we would cope if (when) dh comes down with it. Unfortunately no spare room, in fact we are considered overcrowded having 6 people in a 3 bed house. Just one bathroom as well. Its stressful.

I feel really sorry for the supermarket staff as most haven’t been protected well. Only now are a few starting to put up plastic visors . I was in Tesco the other day getting a few necessities where a new lady had just started. She was handling cash and constantly touching her face/nose without realising it as I asked her did she realise the risks. She replied that she was totally unaware .
Thank you for the encouragement from other medical people who have answered my concerns about kids thankfully not being badly infected. My husband had told me that but I guess I needed further assurance from others .

By the way I hope the supermarkets give their staff a large bonus after this, our local store took over £60000 in under two hours!,