At the outset, apologies for the long post....
My mother lives with my 12 year old son and I. Mum is capable of caring for herself. She has a few age related health issues but by god’s grace nothing serious. My father passed away over 30 years ago and I am her only child. My mother has always been very controlling and has an evil temper. My daddy was quite passive and usually just ignored her. She was quite nasty to him too, even the morning he passed away she had a go at him and said why don’t you ever die! Since my father’s passing she's become even more difficult and hateful. Downright mean! Nothing anyone does for her is good enough.
On many occasions she has thrown me out of her house (before I got married); told me she didn't have a daughter and to never come back. She doesn’t get along with anyone in the family and has quite a reputation for being rude, insulting and almost acting superior then the rest of them. She is totally so negative that no one wants to be around her.
She NEVER has anything good to say about anything or anyone. Mum always has an opinion on everything and she is always right. She has never apologised for anything. Mum is an opportunist and knows very well how to use people to her advantage When she has some work she talks very sweetly but later on drops you like a hot potato. She controls everything I do, from who I am talking to on the phone to what I wear to what colour my balayage is to what whether I should meet my friends, to what to cook, to whether to drink coffee daily or not… FFS, it is just ridiculous! I am 54 years old now! It is like she wants me to be a puppet on a string.
She is in very good health but the minute you say something to her, she puts up an act of falling ill, breathlessness, choking etc.. then she will call 999, they will come only to say that all is well. Now mum has started to poison my son and keeps telling him that I want her to die, that I want to kill her. That I am eyeing an inheritance! FFS, I don’t take a penny from her, on the contrary I pay for everything for her, including her travel tickets when she goes back to our native country one a year (Kenya).
I can see that my mum is slowing poisoning my son against me and there is a lot of distance between us.
The most recent incident has really annoyed me….
On Saturday night we were having a glass of wine, she had a big bottle of corona extra and then a glass of white wine. I think it got to her! Anyway, after dinner, my son asked to eat some M&S cookies I had bought. I gave him 2 and I ate the rest (4 cookies). It was a pack of 8, son had 2 earlier in the day. My son jokingly said ”mum how many are you eating?” that’s it, my mum just went on one…. She said I will kill myself and my son, I am good for nothing but only know how to eat like a glutton. I had enough of her BS so I decided to take a stand for myself and told her that at 54 I could eat however many cookies I liked. I paid for them and I am eating them. I had offered them to her earlier but she had said no…. she couldn’t take the fact that I stood up for myself and got up and said she was done with me and walked off… kept muttering that I will kill everyone… so I told her to take her negativity elsewhere and not to wish such nonsense for my little boy!
Sunday was Mother’s day, I didn’t wish her and since then I am just ignoring her…. She pretends to cry and gain sympathy but I am not falling for it anymore. On Tuesday she again called 999 and asked my son to call an ambulance, I told her I can do it, she said NO! so I said then do it yourself and not to involve the child. She hung up, went to her room and was fine… as she walked up she again told my son that I want her to die.
I am absolutely done with her vile and nasty behaviour. TBH, I am 54 years old, divorced twice and a single parent. On many occasions my mother has told me that I will feel worthless when I grow older so I should carry on working so that I don’t feel like a total waste. Is this acceptable? What have I done to be subjected to this kind of abuse? I have a simple job but earn enough to keep us afloat.
But I cannot go through the of my life like this! I am sure she will outlive me as her hatred and abuse will take my life ☹