To think that if you’re main problem is shutdown-related boredom you have a pretty nice life?

[Wombleofwimbledon1984]

In the last three years my partner has been made redundant twice. Had his ideal job lined up just before corona and they rescinded two days before his start date.

Expecting first child who has been diagnosed with a severe chromosomal disorder. Have a damaged relationship with my family because they relentlessly encouraged termination. Worried medical care for the birth in two months is going to be carnage.

Skint and depressed. Husband spends his days shouting at his bloody computer game.

Am I unreasonable to be fed up of people moaning all the time that they are bored? I know everything is relative. I think I just need to be told to shut up and that people have it a lot worse than me...

In a lot of ways YANBU. I have a few stressful things happening at the moment but I keep reminding myself that actually my life is a walk in the park compared to other people’s. I am very sorry to hear about what you are going through.

Sorry, my balance to this was that obviously people are immeshed in their own problems and sometimes it can be difficult to see beyond that. Eg when you’re trying to entertain a toddler home alone all day and it’s frazzling your mind. Sometimes it can be difficult to gain perspective because in those moments things seem shit or unfair, even though those are problems others would love to have.

I know. This is the stuff I need to hear. I wish I was the sort of person who can see the beauty in sunshine and empathise with people even if I think their problems aren’t very big. I feel like I’m at the risk of being just bitter and unhappy and that’s the completely worst attitude to have with a disabled child. I feel like I need a tots personality transplant!

It isn't a competition.

Do not be so hard on yourself, please. Your baby has not yet been born, and all you have heard is disappointing news and had a total lack of support from horrible family. Things will become much happier when you meet your little baby and you fall in love with them. That will give you a lot of joy.

Life is not fair and I can’t pretend to understand the difficulties that you will face, and it’s certainly reasonable to have a pity party when necessary. But humans adapt, it is our nature. Your difficulties will become your realities and you will accept the situation and work around it.

But for goodness sake you have only found out a few months ago and are also hormonal and anticipating birth in a scary time. Cut yourself some slack. Have some chocolate and cry. It’s ok to mourn for the child you thought you would have, it doesn’t mean you won’t love the one you do have.

Can your husband be more supportive? He’s obviously going through a tough time too - any way he can get off the computer and give you a hug/spend a bit of time
Together whilst it’s the two of you?

I think if pure boredom was the only problem then YANBU. However, I highly doubt there are many people for whom this is the case.

Most people will be worried about many things: vulnerable people they know and love getting ill (with anything- the health system is struggling), work (either juggling WFH and childcare or not being at work and wondering if the business will survive), their next food shop, special planned events being cancelled (we all know its necessary but still frustrating and upsetting), things breaking (our table broke the 2nd day of lockdown last week - no idea when we can replace it) etc etc etc

And yes my table is a pathetic problem next to your baby, but at the time when juggling many other worries and stresses it really annoyed me. I now always have at the back of my mind a possible bigger breakage (washing machine, boiler) and how Id cope with that.

That's all it is with me - boredom. I'm not worrying, that's a pointless thing to do - if you follow the rules to the letter then there's little else you can actually do. There's no sense in moaning about the supermarket situation, we're mostly in the same boat. OK, I've lost some income but I still have just enough. Lots of people don't have enough. I've got nothing special or youneek to complain about so I'll shut up and put up.