Aibu to be really struggling?

[Ilovetea09]

Morning everyone. Just need somewhere to have a little rant.
I do suffer generally from anxiety, depression. Have done for many, many years. I usually deal with it very well, mostly by making sure I have alone time.
Now I have my two primary age kids at home and husband is working from home. I'm feeling very peopled out, and the constant mum, mum, mum is driving me to despair! This is a very stressful time for everyone but I'm seeing so many lovely things on social media about family time and having a lovely time together.
Its not like that in our house. My husband is very stressed with work etc and worrying about the future and finances. He needs to have Skype meetings etc where I have to keep the kids quiet. He has become obsessed with rationing our food so that it lasts us, so we are not wasting money on more. I agree with him but it's causing so many arguments. Kids asking for 50 snacks a day and then having tantrums when told no. My son has mild SEN and is really struggling with the change of routine. He's having lots of tantrums and stomping around. Making for an unpleasant time.
I am having zero time alone. Hubby and I are bickering a lot. Ahhhh its all just hard isn't it?!! Just want to get back to normal life. Please tell me I'm not the only one stuck in with a moody husband and stroppy kids?

Tell your hubby that you know he has to work but for your sanity you need to timetable some alone time. You're not aibu.
Regarding snacks for the kids - instead of saying no make a chart for them so they know when is snack time and if they ask outside it say yes you can but it's not time yet but it is soon. If easier break the snacks into smaller portions and make it more regular. When we are thrown into extraordinary situations keeping to a loose timetable helps because everyone knows what is expected when. You included! If your kids are able make it up with them and explain why you are doing each thing. It will keep them informed and on board.
I took myself off for an hour say before yesterday. The boys had downtime watching stuff and I felt better after. I just lay in bed chilling but it helped.
You're hubby is worrying about everything it sounds like but you both need to communicate to get through it. A day at a time. Good luck.

Do not believe social media posts! At best, they capture the 10 seconds of the day that are going well. At worst, they are completely staged.

Everyone is struggling honestly. It is an unprecedented situation.

I'm feeling exactly the same, I could sit down and sob I'm feeling that low.

I have no magic solution, but I did see on Facebook someone had got a little basket for each child and put their snacks in there for the day. They were told once they had gone they could have no more. Could that help?

Sit down with your husband when kids are in bed and its quiet and discuss a plan. I'm not in the UK and we are in lockdown - many more restrictions than the UK. I also have a toddler. To cope with the next few weeks we have come up with a plan as to how we are going to cope with us all together. We have done a meal plan including snacks, activities and a loose structure of the day for my ds , down time for each other etc.
It is a frustrating and challenging situation for alot of people.
Can you create a snack basket for each child for the day, fill it up and if its finished that is it.

I have cried loads. have a 4 month old baby who doesnt sleep longer than an hour or two at a time either and we are stuck in a tiny annexe - literally doesnt even have another room. I feel so low its worrying. it will be interesting and sad to see the state of a lot of peoples mental health after,/during this.

not being dismissive of people who have had this illness or could become very ill with it (I could be you never know!) but I do wonder how long being on lockdown peacefully will be able to go on. I dont mean to be disrespectful I really dont but those who dont have access to an outdoor space I imagine would literally crack after months of being stuck inside, especially those on their own.

crazy times

I don’t think those social media posts can be an accurate representation; in my day with my DC we have moments of loveliness but lots of moments of stress and bickering.
With my DD I’ve set specific snack times mirroring nursery as I was getting sick of constant snack requests and I’m employing a lot of ignoring tantrums or saying “I’ve answered you and I’m not going to continue to repeat myself” then ignoring the same requests.
Be kind to yourself and do what you can to make yourself feel better

Schedule schedule schedule! Primary aged kids thrive on structure and knowing what is laid out for them. Get up every morning, shower, get dressed like it is a school day (obviously not in uniform, but out of PJs).

In times where things are out of control, focus on what you can control:
Snack time, play on your own, everyone clean, cooking together, TV time. Get them to help you with tasks like laundry and tidying. Have them help you meal plan so they are involved in the decisions. Tackle a bigger project together like clearing out old toys in the cellar. Have your H schedule his calls during screen time as that will keep the kids quiet. Have them do the Joe Wicks PE every morning to use up some of their energy. Plus it will break up the week day and weekends.

If it’s any help, my social media posts are the best bits of what have other been thoroughly fucking hideous times!! I don’t know why I’m doing it really. Think it’s the competitive mum in me and and all this home schooling shit that’s doing the rounds!

I’m in floods by bedtime each day and the days are painfully long. I feel like such a bad mum right now. And a bad wife. And a bad employee.

Thank god for Joe Wicks. He is most definitely making up for some of the lost outside time.

Charts and timetables for snacks? Absolutely not.
If it’s a no, it’s a no. They don’t snack at school right?

Completely agree with Praiseyou , even before Coronavirus!

Thanks everyone. Feeling abit better now. We are in the garden in the sunshine.
Hubby has now done then a snack box each and they seem to have accepted it well.

This is from the skint dad page on Facebook, I hope it's helpful