Postnatal care panic

[Jadefeather7]

Hi

I’m due to have a baby in just under 3 months. I have a post partum condition which is fairly rare and poorly understand and if triggered can have very serious consequences like stroke and even death. We discovered this after my first birth. Luckily last time I recovered without any long term issues. I was at home when it happened and my husband was able to get an ambulance. This time I’ve been told I will need to stay in hospital for a few days.

I also really struggled with mobility after my c section (I know some people will say they were running marathons after theirs but that wasn’t my experience). My husband and mum visited throughout the day so would pass me the baby, give me a hand to get out of bed and keep an eye on me as I was walking around (my blood pressure kept dropping and I fainted a few times so was lucky to have them around to get me help).

I had a very bad experience with post partum care last time (and I know this is not uncommon. I had my c section late in the day so was still numb in the evening. I was left overnight without being checked even once (even though the midwife in charge assured us that there would be regular checks) and I was unable to use the buzzer to get help. During the day it would usually take half an hour for my call to be answered (which is totally fine for non urgent stuff but if I started to have a stroke I would need urgent attention and I’m not sure how I could get that). I changed hospital this time because another hospital near to me had private rooms and allowed partners to stay overnight, however they have changed this policy because of coronavirus so I will be alone during the 4/5 days that I am in hospital.

I’m even more worried now as I imagine staff will be even more overstretched then they were last time and the best I can hope for is to have my husband there during the birth. I’m really worried about how I will manage the postnatal bit on my own.

I understand why measures need to be taken for infection control but I don’t know what to do. My husband thinks we should spend our life savings on a private birth. It feels like too much to me but I do also want to live for my two small children.

I would speak to your midwife ASAP, discuss it with a consultant and then investigate private with a strong view to doing it. This doesn’t sound like something you can muck around with.

Thanks, my care so far has been on the NHS and the midwife and consultant were confident they could manage it (as was I). It’s really the post partum care that I think could be a problem now because coronavirus means changes in hospital policy.

I hear your anxiety but please don’t rush into spending your savings on something that may turn out to be no better than the nhs can offer.

Discuss your fears with your midwife. Yes, you are going to have to adjust your expectations but the staff will genuinely be working flat out to do their very best. Many women will be discharged very quickly which will help make the PN wards quieter.

Having partners stay overnight is a very recent thing, the staff will mostly be very used to needing to help mothers in your situation. You may also recover a little more quickly than with your first baby. Not every birth is the same.

Wishing you well and hopefully you can get through this with the least possible stress. Mainly though, talk to your HCPs they really want to help.

@MatildaTheCat thank you, I hear what you’re saying and I do feel like it’s a lot to spend especially when the NHS were great with the surgery which is what costs the most. I think because of my last experience with postnatal care I really have no trust left in midwives. As my husband left hospital he specifically asked them to keep an eye on me and they assured him that they would and that he had nothing to worry about. No one can came to see me that night. My buzzer had dropped on the floor and I couldn’t reach it. My baby was crying all night and I couldn’t hold him. Luckily I was ok that night, but had it recurred I might not be here today. I really fear this happening again

I probably shouldn’t be saying this but the hospital in London ( they are from Glasgow) treating a relative of mine allowed the father to sign a waiver about Coronavirus in order to stay. They were there due to the fact they had to have the baby there due to a heart defect in the baby. Perhaps ask if this is an option? Or is it an option to have the surgery on the nhs and be transferred to private for post natal care? Also if they don’t come and you can still talk then scream the place down, they’ll soon be at you first.

@louisetress I don’t really understand, what did the waiver say? The reason they have stopped people staying or visiting is because they think they might spread coronavirus to other people.
I was wondering about doing the postnatal care part privately but I can’t find anything on this. I think you need to take the full package with a private hospital.

A lot will change in 3 months. Sit tight. Private care is likely to cease to exist for a short while anyway.

@welshweasal That’s true but I imagine for the worse as I can’t see current circumstances improving in three months?

Does anyone know if there are emergency alarms in maternity wards? My husband seems to think there should be. I remember having the buzzer but that’s used for non urgent things as well so not really helpful when you need immediate assistance.

There are emergency buzzers on the ward.

Sounds like your condition was not handed over to the midwives as I can not imagine any midwife risking their PIN by not caring for you if you needed it.

I would ask to see a consultant midwife or director of midwifery to discuss your concerns. If your condition is as dangerous as you say then maybe it would be better to keep you on labour ward for 1-1 care until you are out of the at risk time frame.

Consultants are great for promising you the world antentally and then forgetting you the minute you leave, they have no power over staffing and beds on any of the wards.

Unfortunately most postnatal wards are staffed by two midwives and can have 22 or more women and 22 babies, that’s 42 people between 2 midwives. Please do lose confidence we are trying our best. Women should only come to a postnatal ward if they are fit for low risk care and should only be seen 1/2 times in a 12 hour period.

As others have said, a lot can change it 3 months but you need to put the work in now to ensure you have a package of care suitable for your needs - please don’t wait until the day and please don’t leave it up to the doctors

44 not 42 🤦

@kidsaregrim
Thank you that’s very helpful, I didn’t think to ask to speak to the director of midwifery. I will do that. The consultants are telling me everything will be fine but I just know they have so much else on and in the end they aren’t going to be there for the postnatal support.

It’s reassuring to know that there are emergency buzzers. I wish they had shown me last time as it would have given me some peace of mind knowing someone would attend immediately if an emergency arose.

As for attending 1/2 times in 12 hours I guess they did do that because they saw me before my husband left (around 10pm and then they came again in the morning). During the night though I couldn’t move to get my screaming baby in order to feed and change him and I couldn’t call for anyone either because the buzzer was inaccessible.