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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU ( it’s a CF neighbour one)

11 replies

married15 · 25/03/2020 20:43

So.. next door neighbour ( whom has precisely kept on ringing door bell after 8pm after having DS AT 2/3 weeks when we were both very unwell, and very unsympathetic when my mum who was staying has said she’s in bed. When wanting to talk to me about her new ‘fence’ she wants to Put up. Fence turned out to be wooden stakes with wire wrapped round ( think fences on estates etc). Accosted next on my one walk a day with DS in his sling hit stirring and me carrot. Two bags of shopping ( desperately needed some supplies), saying that she wanted to talk to me ‘about my garden’). Batting to her she says that she wants to grow tomatoes and wheeler she wants to grow them I currently have a shrub which is ‘taller then it’s ever been’ ( we moved in in november) and ‘ although she wouldn’t ask us to prune it now as it’s in flower it is talker than the origins owner kept it and is stopping light to her tomatoes’. I said well of course if anything is overflowing on your side, feel free to cut, as is your right. She kept on banging on about how it’s taller than it has been and I did point out to her that we would also like some privacy in our own Garden and is not the time to prune a ceonotha. She said that she will eh growing plants up her trellis and that would give us privacy and would not be until next year and she wa unable to move her vegetable table on her own. I said that I would t be pruning the garden at the moment and that it was not my priority but if she would like help to move her table to somewhere more sunny, that my husband could help her. She ignored this. Carried on saying that the lriwvius owner kept the bush low and she didn’t know how tall it would grow. I said well I don’t put my tomatoes out until end of may of beginning of June so surely we don’t need to worry about it no? She kept on saying she needs the light and doesn’t know how tall it will grow. I ended up saying ‘ we shall see’ as DS woke up in sling and started crying. Never any ‘ sorry I know your busy ( she doesn’t work) or ‘ I can see you have your hands full etc’). This all the meanwhile she is digging a bloody pond in her front garden which obv neighbours ours, but the whole estate is restricted by a covenant to our fences up and have to have the front garden in a certain way. Is she a CF. Or am I hormonal??

OP posts:
married15 · 25/03/2020 20:48

Sorry about the typos I am very very tired.

OP posts:
LakieLady · 25/03/2020 21:10

Ignore her. Let your ceanothus grow as big as you like, they're a lovely shrub and attract bees (well, the one I had did, until my ex chopped it down, having mistaken it for part of the lonicera nitida hedge, the pillock).

If she keeps on complaining, point out that she's in breach of covenant for digging a pond.

married15 · 25/03/2020 21:16

That’s what I thought with the bees! She previously said that she wanted an open fence so ( I quote) the frogs and hedgehogs could migrate through our garden, but seems unconcerned about the bees?! I ALMOST said to her that she could put her tomatoes on my allotment, but refrained. Sorry I know this is prob irrelevant with what is going on right now but she started it! 😂

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Ishihtzuknot · 25/03/2020 21:17

What height is her fence? She is being very cheeky completely ignore her. You’re entitled to plants on your side and for the privacy she’s taken away. It’s not your problem if she has no sunlight. Don’t offer to help with anything just be civil and say “no I’m keeping them as they are.”
If she still won’t let it drop report her for harassment.
Are you able to put a fence up next to hers to block her out completely? Not that you should have to but I would consider it if she was my neighbour.

Sicario · 25/03/2020 21:20

One word of advice - NEVER fall out with your neighbour (unless it's completely unavoidable because they're a psychopath).

Don't bother pointing out if she's wrong, or if she's a pain in the arse, or if she's breaching a covenant about digging a pond.

Nod politely and move along and grow your garden however you want.

A good way to extract yourself from a neighbour when they're mid-sentence in full flow is "must go, I've got a pie in the oven" then walk off.

married15 · 25/03/2020 21:22

The ‘fence’ is 4 ft. absolutely no privacy. When I have the money I want to put a 6 ft panel outside our back door atleast as is where I want to out the table. We spend a lot of time outdoors and don’t want to have to see her awful junk yard of a garden all the time. She says everything so ‘nicely’ -and the previous owner was a lovely man but clearly beaten down by years of her!

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married15 · 25/03/2020 21:24

@Sicario not going to point out about it but it does work be as there are children playing in the close and we’re not allowed fences in our front gardens so I do think it is very irresponsible of her. I’ve been very polite with her but firm, previously she kept on speaking to my husband as I was either too pregnant to get up and answer the door or breast feeding.

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Cherrysoup · 25/03/2020 21:26

Just smile and keep it vague ‘We’ll see/I don’t think so’. If she’s a persistent cow, just tell her you don’t want to change your garden for her benefit and could she please stop harassing you.

Sicario · 25/03/2020 21:28

I lived next door to a CF cow from hell so I feel your pain.

married15 · 25/03/2020 21:30

Thanks everyone, I want to out a pic on but not allowed as new. It’s such an inoffensive Bush 😂

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strawberry2017 · 25/03/2020 22:05

Get your secure private fence up as soon as possible!
She's a stupid arse!

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