To be upset

[Betty1233]

A collegue at work has made a few comments to me.He called me an old maid in front of others and another time said that I may get someone because ‘everyone’s got different tastes’.
I feel pretty sad about being single etc ( I know there are bigger things going on at the mo ).
But was I unreasonable to be upset about these things

Wtf!? How did that come up in conversation anyway?

Trust me, it's them not you!
What a vile and hideous person.

for you.

U are being bullied.
Next time nip it in the bud.
Tell them in front of others what they said in inappropriate and hurtful and if it dosent stop u will be reporting it to managment. If they say it was a joke tell them its only a joke if everyone finds it funny and you dont.
They are being deliberately mean.
Sending you a virtual hug. Good luck.

He's a dick and quite possibly in breach of your work HR policies. Is he in a superior role?

I appreciate HR probably has bigger things to worry about at the moment but I'd log comments like this and drop them an email about it.

On no account is this man someone to whom you should waste any or your time or consideration. Do not give him a moment's thought.

His personal remarks are inappropriate and unacceptable. Your personal circumstances are your private business and he has no reason nor right to comment upon them, and if made repeatedly could constitute workplace bullying which could mean the company would be required to act if you made a complaint. So basically he should put a bloody sock in it. I'm sure he's a real catch himself. Not.

He is a fuck wit. Make a note to pass to HR. Tell him he is being insulting if he does it again.

Wow, that is entirely unacceptable.

Do you feel able to say something? If you rehearsed some comebacks (serious ones, not humorous - this isn't a joking situation, he's bullying) would you be able to get them out or would you stumble over them? If you think you'd stumble, keep it simple - the MN 'Did you mean to be so rude' isn't a bad place to start here.

I would also raise it with HR if you can, or with your manager if you have a review. I would want to know if a member of my staff was being so purposefully horrible to another member of staff

He is completely out of order and unprofessional. Defo raise it with your manager, and HR (but being aware that in current circumstances other things may be higher up the priority list, so it might take longer to sort). What a horrible man

He sounds like a horrible nasty bully! Grrr I hate bullies. Tell your boss and don’t back down. Tell him what a horrible bastard he is and how he is making you feel. If I worked with you I would stick up for you. Sending you hugs xx

Look. He’s a shitbag. You’re OK. I was single throughout my 30’s and eventually got married and had my son at age 38. There’s someone for everyone and he’s a shitbag.

Make a written complaint to HR so that his “light hearted teasing” is logged and noted so that, when all this is over (COVID) you can pursue a (rightful) complaint.

What a tosser.

One of my favourite suggestions for this sort of thing is a blank look and completely unemotionally asking "What do you mean? I don't follow" repeatedly as they try to explain themselves and make themselves look like more and more of an arsehole. Particularly effective if he's not actually trying to be hurtful but can be slightly adapted if he's deliberately being mean.

Pithy comebacks depend a lot more on your character and theirs, I think, as a naturally timid or kind person trying to out-sass someone with this much chutzpah is liable to get their arse handed back to them and be made (unfairly) to feel a bit silly - proceed with caution!