WWYD - childcare & WFH

[MrsR1216]

We have 3 DC (8,4 & 11months), DH is a keyworker and I’m currently WFH full time (37hrs).

I can’t physically work with the children here, the older two I could at a push but with the baby it’s impossible. DH is working back to back 12 hour shifts a mix of days and nights for 60 hours this week. I’m just not sure how I’m supposed to work. I can’t get any money for the days I’m off (not a furloughed employee) and financially we just can’t afford to forfeit my wage, the kids would end up homeless.

My options are when DH is on shift.

• Send the kids to school and nursery (mixing with everyone which I really don’t want to do)
• Go to my 45yo DMs so we can share the care whilst I attempt to work from there.

We are abiding by every rule, I just can’t see my family be absolutely destitute and want to keep being able to feed my DC.

Makes me so angry there’s nothing in place for working parents and we’re all just supposed to say it’s ok we will take unpaid leave. If the government hasn’t closed the business, there is absolutely no help available.

My employer isn't expecting full days, but is letting us clock full days as normal so our pay isn't affected. If its too hard we'll be offered special paid leave, however they would rather us do a few hours than none at all.

I'm logging on in the morning before my toddler wakes up, during her nap and in the evenings once she is in bed.

8 year old must have school work to do and 4 year old dhould be able to play independantly for short time periods? And when baby sleeps you can do some work.

Send the kids to school and nursery (mixing with everyone which I really don’t want to do)

No, unless you are a key worker as well - these places are for kids where both parents are key workers.

Can you do adjusted hours and take 25% of the day as unpaid leave? Can you do more hours when your partner is there and carry over into the next week?

You cannot go to your DMs with the new lockdown.

The nurseries and schools are open to enable the key worker to work, not to enable you to work from home
You will have to just work reduced hours

Also, both parents don’t have to be a key worker. That is clear from government guidance, but I would just rather not put my children at risk whilst being able to keep a roof over their head.

A 25% pay cut will not allow me to do this.

Another option would be to take a key worker out of operation and my husband to take leave to care for the kids, as he gets full pay for any leave he takes.

I could do my 7.5 hour shift once he returns home at 7:00 this evening so could work until 2:30am. And then be up with the kids at 5:30 at a push. It’s just going to be exhausting.

If I were you I would ask my mother to do the childcare. She is 45 and presumably no health conditions? Presumably she is respecting the current isolation/distancing rules?

The reason that a school/nursery place is offered even if only one parent is a key worker is precisely because many families are in your situation, where the non key worker is the main earner and the family cannot afford for them to take unpaid leave to do childcare.

Is there any way that you could take some (paid) annual leave eg one day a week to take the pressure off a bit?

We are sort of in a similar position except that while I'm technically a key worker I'm not an essential one and I can work from home. I'm taking some annual leave. DH, who is self employed and doesn't earn if he doesn't work, is also taking time off and we are just having to suck up a loss in his earnings. We only have 1 DC. We have considered asking my mum to do some childcare but she's 59 and doesn't live close so we're trying to manage for now. But in your situation I would ask mum!

Can your mum move in with you, she’s young so not in any risk category, and if you are all living in one household then count as one house

Lots of people are in the same position, including us, although I'm the key worker and DH is WFH. He gets up early and does a couple of hours before I go to work, does what he can during the day (which isn't a lot, although he get a bit done while youngest has an afternoon nap) and then he makes up a few hours in the evening. Most employers realise that we're all doing our best in very difficult times and there has to be a bit of flexibility.

Just checked with my manager and I will need to work core office hours to ensure I can do welfare checks on the WFH staff. So any ideas about working outside of core hours just aren’t going to work!

Thanks for all of your suggestions, I’m just not someone who normally breaks the rules but I just can’t see any other way I can make it work.

Such a tough situation OP. I don’t think any solution is perfect. Since your mum is fairly young (and presumably healthy?) I think I’d be asking whether she can move in for a while or whether you and the DC can go and live with her. Is that feasible?

Healthwise, what's the difference between taking dcs to DM and taking them to nursery/school? I'd have thought there's less risk of spreading infection with DM. than several dcs from different households mixing in a childcare setting with multiple carers?

I think you could justify it, if challenged.

The rules actually allow you send your DC to school/nursery and your mum looking after them is much lower risk.

Cross post!

Think that the consensus is your mum - as she is so young her risk factor is basically the same as yours