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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Needing some advice

3 replies

CbonusM02 · 25/03/2020 03:37

Just wanting to see other people's opinions, on them finding out that their partner watches porn while they are sleeping? How would you react? Deal with this?

Me & my partner have been together nearly 4 years. We have 4 children in total, 2 his, 2 ours. Obviously I'm tired all the time running around looking after our children. His 2 go to school, ours are only babies. So they are constantly with me 24/7, and when it's night time I'm tired as hell.

I'm starting to feel like I'm not good enough for him so he's resorting to watching porn to get his fix. If he continues to do this he might have a high expectation of whqt our sex life should be & it's not going be like that? Ugh being a SAHM I just feel like he's feeling unhappy in our relationship bc he has to watch to watch other people for him to have a good time.

Idk, ive tried talking to him he just shrugs it off like it's nothing, but I'm kinda hurt.

I need advice please.

OP posts:
Chiochan · 26/03/2020 13:40

I had a partner who watched porn to the detrement of our relationship but it sounds like this is not what is happening here? how is your sex life? does your partner make you feel wanted sexually? I think a lot depends on this.
I would speak to him and try to outline why you object to it (there are a lot of reasons to object to porn as it abuses women and is very bad for men in a number of ways)

drinkygin · 26/03/2020 17:05

Wouldn’t give a single shit. Watching porn is separate from sex, don’t take it personally.
If you’re wanting sex and he’s rejecting you in favour of watching porn then that’s another story.

heartsonacake · 26/03/2020 17:08

I wouldn’t care. I’m the regular porn watcher in our house; DH hardly ever watches it but if he did, I wouldn’t mind.

Watching porn does not make me love DH less, it does not make me think DH is less attractive or not good enough and it certainly doesn’t affect our sex life in anyway.

I really don’t think anyone gets to decide whether their partner can watch porn or not; you don’t get to control that. If you don’t agree you have two choices: you put up with it or it’s a dealbreaker and you leave.

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