I have DS aged 4 and DD aged 3. They have been going to nursery part time since they were small and have always enjoyed it. Their behaviour has always been good, some typical boundary pushing but overall they’re pretty good children.
Recently I’ve noticed a change in DS’ behaviour (since probably late Jan-just turned 4). He’s been pushing boundaries a lot more, answering back and being generally very silly. DD finds his silliness hilarious, which doesn’t help as he loves to make her laugh.
Since he’s been off nursery (we went on holiday at the end of Feb and since we returned he has not gone back to nursery due to COVID) I’ve been getting more and more concerned. He’s unable to play on his own at all. Today I set up outdoors for him with chalk paint, bikes, an obstacle course, a bucket of water and cloths to clean the cars, golf clubs and balls and his farm animals. He spent the whole time pretending the golf club was a hammer and/or trying to take whatever his sister had off her. He was brought in twice and sent to his room then eventually brought in for good. I played with play doh with him and did jigsaws, I read him a story and we did some maths/phonics work, all of which he enjoyed and played with. Yet as soon as I said I needed him to play on his own for 10 mins so I could do some jobs, he started being silly, throwing his toys, screaming, pushing his sister, basically anything he shouldn’t be doing (not for attention, more like he doesn’t know what to do when he’s left to his own devices). He was sent to his room again.
He hates being sent to his room, he cries and promises he won’t do it again but sure enough, as soon as he’s left to play on his own it happens again. If I don’t supervise him all the time (and believe me I don’t WANT to be a helicopter parent) he wrecks the house (not out of malice or anything, he seems to genuinely not know how to properly entertain himself despite being shown).
He doesn’t use toys for their intended purpose (ie. fills a bag full of cars then will say he’s been shopping for beans and give me a car, despite having play food for him to pretend with. Uses bandages from the doctor’s kit to pull things (including DD) around with etc.)
He still carries toys around in his mouth despite being told not to and he breaks things regularly from being too rough. He always suffers the natural consequences of his actions as well as getting told off, but he doesn’t seem to be able to stop himself from doing it again.
We have been getting out of the house to walk the dog for at least an hour, we’re lucky as we have woods just over the road and we can walk without seeing anyone else, so it’s not like he has been fully confined to the house.
Is this normal? Am I expecting too much of him? If not please help and tell me what I’m doing wrong as I’m at my wits end and I just want to enjoy this time with him as much as I can!