Almost 5 year old hates independent play

[Piesandpants]

Posting here for traffic. I feel like I’ve tried everything (incl setting activities up, me play first, timed etc) to encourage him to pLay independently for years. He is a very sociable boy does not enjoy entertaining himself and craves constant attention good or bad. If I’m in the shower he will find random things to play with for 5 mins and it’s great but that’s it, but it does show he can do it.
Being stuck inside and having a small baby to look after too, this is driving me mad. Does anyone else have this issue? And what have you tried?

Can you get a timer that counts down? Set it for a very short achievable time - 5 mins and reward him when he does it. Then gradually start stretching the time out

Do you think he might be happy listening to audio books?

Unfortunately he doesn’t seem to like audio books. I even got him his own ‘special’ headphones for it. When I set the timer he repeatedly asks when will it be over or says he will sit and wait instead of playing. The timer hasn’t been visible though, so I could try that.

The only thing that worked for me was when the baby was old enough to start telling him what to do

Would he prefer jobs? Read to baby, clean the windows etc

Only thing that worked for me was a sibling! So not really a short term solution. I used to play for half an hour and then make them play for half an hour (but that didn’t always work). It’s hard OP.

Mine is the same he is draining. I put on kid dance videos. Nothing lasts more than 3 mins, he calls me repeatedly for attention every minute of the day.
Though he is not sociable outside the home, he is terrible in preschool. Big school this year. No advice just to say I understand how hard it is.

Sounds harsh, but I find mine play best when I pretty much ignore them. They then get bored and make their own games up.

Mine is a year younger and normally can crack on with a bit of independent play and has a brilliant imagination. Since Nursery has shut this has gone to pot. We had tears yesterday because she didn’t want to play alone. Her attention span has gone to about 3 seconds and she has become a lot more needy. I think this is going to be hard emotionally for children that thrive on social stimulation. I’m trying to be understanding and patient but I also have a kamikaze baby and I just can’t give her 100% attention. It is breaking me really.

Was he a high needs baby. I knew within an hour of giving birth I was in for a tough ride, he wimpered until he worked out how to scream, he took over the home the day he got here. He was the ultimate velcro baby, my first was a cute sweet baby, he was a shock to my system. I'm use to him now.

Urgh mines like this. I find starting off with my dd dolls and pretending to be one then role play into something like oh no barbie has to see her friends super excitedly then run over to the other side of the room.
Dd now completely engaged and also running to other side of room.
I then do something silly like jump up and down like an absolute clown and declare something like, barbie needs to find new friends. Who can find barbie new friends (again in super exciting high pitched voice that your neighbours won't thank you for) Wait for dd to go find barbie new friends then peg it out the room for my own sanity whilst dd distracted.

It does work. I hope it works for you. I don't get a realllly long time but I do get more than 5 mins of peace.

Oh I'm actually stupid I though I read 5yo!
If a baby I think get things like Tupperware to play with. My dd couldn't get enough of those. Unfortunately I can't even tell you they grow out of high needs
I wish you luck

Hmmm I’m in the ignore camp. For my dd I’ll set up toys show her how to do them then sit back while she plays. She’s nearly 16 months but can independently play for as long as 45 mins. I don’t think it’s that normal actually...but I enjoy it. She just explores everything, does make a huge mess j have to sort out. I read books or mumsnet.

Yes mine was like this. If he just wanted to roll round in the floor and moan for the length of the timer I would shrug and say “if that’s what you want to do, go for it.” And go and do whatever I was planning on doing. After about a week he started getting bored with rolling round the floor to no audience and sneaked a bit of playing in. It took bloody years (sorry!) but he is 7.5 now and can play for a good hour on his own. Although he would still prefer me on tap!

Can you buy a mini trampoline ? Then he can bounce in it to work off excess energy

Thanks everyone. At least I know I’m not alone. @tangeriney yes he is almost 5 years old. Such a loving boy in many ways but can also be a little monster when he wants to be.
I actually looked up trampolines last night on argos and none that I thought suitable were able to be delivered at all, didn’t see any on amazon either. He would sit on YouTube forever if I let him, sometimes it’s a real toss up between getting some time to spend with baby but then feel bad he is sitting in front of a screen

What's he like with messy play. A tray of porridge with spoons bowls and dinosaurs etc. Don't put enough out, so it's awkward for him to share then go answer your phone. If he follows put it away.
Tell him he's old enough to play on his own for a bit. Re the timer, it's 5min of playing, so if he just sits there then don't start the timer. And do it before screen time. You're not being a bad parent, you just need to find the thing that engages him like that.