To be mad that my husband’s employers are expecting him to carry on as usual?

[VeeJayBee]

Sorry another coronavirus post. I’m a nurse. I’m thankfully on annual leave this week. But next week back in and I work two days and three days a week alternating. My parents in their 70s can no longer no do my childcare. We had a plan in place for other family members to do some childcare meaning my husband (non essential job) only had to do one day a week but he had to make up the hours through the week.

Personally I felt his multi million pound company should, in an effort to support their NHS let him have the day off to look after his two year old while his wife nurse went to work risking health and life to serve the country in this crisis. Now he’ll have to do all the childcare and feels he’ll have to make up his time. How is that even going to be possible? AIBU that I feel his work should accommodate our situation and accept no one in the country/world is currently able to carry on as normal?? I am actually asking as I’ve never worked for a private company and don’t understand the pressure. Thanks.

Sorry meant to say original childcare plan obviously now not going to work as cannot mix households now plus one member of the household who she would have gone to is a child with asthma, can’t risk it.

DH also works for a multi million pound non essential company. They have selected a few people to WFH but everyone else still has to go in, they’re refusing to close down the company which is ridiculous. Luckily DH can WFH but it truly is crap of wealthy companies who can afford to close for a few weeks.

I think those who can WFH are really lucky to be able to keep our jobs.

Ours has said they understand it's hard if you have kids in the house etc and talk to line manager.

They will be flexible and that's fine but I wouldn't expect them to give people time of on full pay and I can't imagine asking.

Sorry not what you wanted to here.

My DH is a key worker too. My kids are bigger but those with smaller kids are juggling. What is his job?

How many kids/ how old?

Yanbu in the respect that they should be letting him work more flexibly, to fit around your hours. I wouldn't expect them to let him just not do the hours though.

DH and I are in a similar position, me essential, NHS, worker and him private sector (technically a key worker but really disputable!) and his work are letting him work really flexibly. We can't quite get away with no nursery (both 5 days a week) but we're down to only one day a week.

What sector is the company in?

Oh are they making him go in?

If so that's shite.

Mine is WFH which the company has interpreted as him being available 24/fricking/seven. I am 'not 'apee'. Cue him doing 12-14 hour days.

@BeetrootRocks he works as a engineer project manager making imaging devices. He does work from home but can’t work and look after two year old all day. I couldn’t either. It’s fine, I want honest opinion and am guilty of thinking that only healthcare matters right now, rightly or wrongly! Want to be challenged if I’m wrong.

But he wouldn’t normally expect to get paid full time and work part time. He works hard and puts in hours++++ all the time. What do they expect him to do if I have to work to treat people in hospital during the worst health disaster of our time and still look after a two year old. Surely it comes under some
Sort of natural disaster terms?!

When you are both at home, you take up some of the slack so he can make up the extra hours.

He's spoken to hr has he or is this line manager

Our job, my colleagues have young kids and partners who work. We've always been fairly relaxed on eg a team call with a toddler voice suddenly piping up! We are very lucky tbh.

It is hard and especially to work with little kids, many many are in same boat. Only thing I can suggest is

Talk to hr
Spilt day between 1 hour doing stuff 1 hour screen (tbh loads of 2yo get a lot of screen time no matter what MN says and needs must) and do calls during this bit
Do you have a garden? Put them on fave activity and work out there to keep an eye. Calls on phone rather than laptop
External meets will need to be more carefully managed obv if you're not office hours then he could work around that
And yes pick up when you are there to make up

That's what I would do but my employer is reasonable, give an take
If they were taking a hard line at a time like this I'd be pissed off but do it to hold onto my job tbh

In terms of hours DH works shifts and always pulls an early then does kids till I get home etc and similar on lates. Yes tiring but is what it is. He doesn't do overnights thankfully.

There are options. Not knowing him or the company it's hard to say. But in general if you are in a well paid professional job yes you find ways where you can.

You mean have the day off unpaid? Probably not an issue.

Expecting to be paid for it is a bit much.

I think wrongly you're thinking that only healthcare workers matter now. There are lots of other sectors of the economy that have key workers. This attitude is getting right on my nerves at the moment.

Depends what sort of engineering he does tbh

Or what actual projects he's on with that

YANBU to be pissed off. As Beetroot says it depends what sector he works in.

I think they are prob BU though if it's paid time off they're after.

Depends on company though etc as said previously.

I think it's a bit much much to expect to be paid to not work. What if all staff wanted that. So the company has the same outgoings but no work being done. They'd be bankrupt by the end if the pandemic and your husband out of a job.

I think allowing him to arrange his working day how he pleases so long as he gets the same amount of work done is fair. Alternatively, could he take a pay cut?

I’m a single parent and WFH normally. My childcare (70 yr old parents) isn’t an option. Work are allowing me to be flexible but I still have to do my job. I’m working 8 - 10 each evening (7 days per week) to buy myself daytime time off to spend with my kid. It’s shit but I want to be paid so I need to do my job. Unpaid parental leave is an alternative option...

Sorry, I know it’s hard.
But if he expects to be paid full hours then he needs to work them.
If he needs a day or so off per week then I’m sure they would be flexible but it would probably be unpaid

Can DH not work back the time on one of the days you are not working?

Yeah agree.

It's all hands to the pumps right.

He's v lucky to be able to work from home and to have a job. And a good job at that.

Has he talked to hr you haven't confirmed. You say he feels he needs to make up the hours (which I think it's a normal feeling to work the hours you are paid for I mean it's a given) so is this coming from him, his line manager, HR, or what?

'We had a plan in place for other family members to do some childcare meaning my husband'

With lockdown I assume you have cancelled this idea.

In your op you say you've never worked private sector so don't understand the pressure. All employers and jobs are different with different expectations. However I'd say working for the hours you are paid is a basic.

OP what is he asking for? Paid or unpaid time off? I'm sure there are ways he can rearrange his work to fit around your hours. Our clients are all in same boat and we are all being understanding etc.

They could and should furlough him and the government would pay salary up to the limits specified. I think people are really not getting the pressures on the nhs now and it's only going to get worse! NHS, food, bins, sweets, power, water, local authority community work. That's all that matters now end of.

I have the utmost respect for NHS staff, but what do you think (to a large extent) pays your wages?

A) The tax paid by exactly those multi-million pound companies that you are so dismissive of.