What happens when you're referred to the urgent mental health team?

[Fuckoffcovid]

I've been struggling with depression for a long time. Split from my partner of 16 years in February and found out he had moved in with another woman 3 weeks later. We have 4 young children. He hasn't been seeing our children often, a few hours here and there, and told me last week he has coronavirus so cant see them until the end of this week. I've developed a cough and temperature. No underlying health conditions so if it is coronavirus, it will probably be ok. But I'm suicidal. Started taking antidepressants a couple of weeks ago and was referred to healthy minds. Had started to feel better but last night the new woman started trouble and its swept all the progress I'd made away. Healthy Minds called me today to check in and let me know it could be months before I can access the therapy I need due to the lockdown. The counsellor said she wanted to refer me to the urgent care mental health team and I agreed. Now I'm worried about what this will mean for my children. If I admit I am suicidal, what will the mental health team do? I have no family who could look after my children, even if we weren't in lockdown conditions. If I committed suicide, my ex would have to move back and take care of them. He used to be a good dad so I know he could look after them well, he's not doing anything for them at the moment because he knows they have me to look after them.

Sorry if it doesn't make much sense, not thinking very clearly.

What I really need to know is what will happen via the mental health team?

Don't know the answer but hopefully someone will come along who does.

When my young adult son was in a similar place, the crisis team came out daily for about 2 weeks, then every few days for another week or two. Then he started counselling.
I don't know if they'll still be doing home visits at the moment, but they were pretty amazing with the level of support they gave.

They most likely send a CPN around everyday for a while to see how you are, adjust meds, can get you faster access to counselling etc.

Please feel free to private message me OP and I’ll pass on my number and I’m here anytime for a chat! I went through something very similar this time last year! Sending hugs

Thinking of you I am so sorry you are going threw this xx

I've been through this.

A nurse and doctor came to my home to assess me. I was not functioning or responding. I Still stayed at home, because my baby was young and they thought it would do more damage to separate us.

A nurse came daily for a week. Then every other day for two weeks... Etc etc until it was once a week. Then she would take me out for coffee. A doctor came about 4 times, reviewing my meds - at home.

Good luck. They were very good. I did have my husband.

I was referred urgently to the mental health team- just means you see a psychiatrist quickly. Don’t worry!!! They’ve never had one concern about my ability as a parent, or my children’s well being etc.

Go to the appointment and be open and honest. I admitted I had previous suicidal thoughts, and combined with everything else it was pretty obvious very quickly I had bipolar. Started me on a different course of meds, and a couple tweaks over the last few years and now I’m a doing ace and have been for several years. We’ve found what works and at the moment that’s what we are sticking too.

Honestly don’t worry. It’s just like seeing the GP, except you talk about what’s going on side your head, rather than your back or leg. I promise you, they really aren’t scary or anything.

I’ve also been referred to the crisis team, albeit when I was young and childless, for anxiety and depression. It seems a lot more daunting that it is, when really a lot of the time they will refer you as urgent and involve the crisis because the waiting times are so long and you need to be seen sooner. The most important thing to do is to be honest with them, tell them the way you’re feeling. They’re there to help you and they are extremely unlikely to separate you and your children, as this would probably make things worse. The ladies who came to assess me at home were so lovely, and put me at ease with the whole process.

In the morning I made an emergency GP appointment and went into the surgery - after telling him how I was feeling (he was already familiar with my MH history), he referred me to the crisis team who rang me later that day, did an over the phone assessment and then came out to see me at home. They sat in my front room and we had a good chat where I explained everything, including that I was feeling suicidal. I was petrified and convinced they were going to section me, I even asked them outright and they were somewhat surprised I’d ever expected that. They want to keep you at home with your normal routine wherever possible. At the end, they told me they’d come and see me again next week and if there was anything I needed, there was a 24 hour contact number to ring. They also rang me a couple of times in the week to check I was doing OK.

Try to do things that make you happy as much as you can, and give yourself credit for doing things that seem impossible when you feel so low, even if it’s just getting out of bed or having a shower.

Also, you said you’d recently gone on antidepressants. Within the first few weeks, it’s common for suicidal feelings, as ridiculous as this is for an antidepressant I know. Just try and remember, things will get better and you’re not alone. Take each day as it comes and don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be making constant progress. These things take time and it’s ok to not be ok sometimes.

Good luck with your meeting, and I hope things get better for you OP x

if you are genuinely feeling suicidal would the children be better off cared for by their dad? he does have responsibility for them as well... it should not all rest on your shoulders.

professionals will be doing their very best to keep the children at home with their parents so unless they feel the children are at risk, they will not remove them if that is what you are worried about.

i think their dad should be stepping up and doing his bit though... especially as it was his girlfriend that caused you to wobble after you made the progress. have you asked him to keep her away from you?

I don't have much advice to give you but just wanted to say you're not alone. Antidepressants can make you feel worse at first but keep on with them and definitely don't stop taking them suddenly without weaning yourself off. What are you on if you don't mind me asking?

Give Samaritans a call for free on 116123 in the mean time.

Basically what you can expect to happen is what others suggest. You may have a social worker brought in to support your family unit and have additional visits from a CPN but the likelihood of sectioning or being removed from the home is relatively low. Space on mental health units is limited to people who are an extreme risk and with the current situation the advice is to keep people at home unless absolutely necessary.

Don’t worry that you’ll lose your kids, this will help you keep them and keep well and safe.

(I volunteer for Samaritans and my previous role was managing a secure unit)