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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Caring for mum

5 replies

LIVVI1234 · 24/03/2020 14:19

Hi - I'm new here and looking for some advice.
I care for my mum who has MS and is very physically disabled through this (pretty much bed bound) along with having a few other illnesses with this.
I ordinarily work full time and care for her 25+ hours a week too.
I have been told to work from home so I am basing myself during this time at my mums as it means I can keep a closer eye on her, as I would have to visit twice daily anyway (she has carers but there are many additional tasks they can't do + staying away from her is simply not an option unless I actually fell ill myself- as she would simply would not cope) While she doesn't come under the vulnerable list coronavirus wise (no respiratory issues, cancer treatments etc ) but my care is very much needed and she is considered very disabled and in need of lots of care (have plenty of written support to prove I help care)
Will I be safe to travel to hers in this lockdown situation? I'm prepared to carry paperwork with me in case I am questioned (her care plan listing my as part of her care, her PIP letter etc). I am not seeing anyone else as I live alone (except supermarket etc). If we go into total lockdown I will stay with her as probably easier but as it stands, I appreciate my evening time at home so I can relax for a few hours away from the stresses of caring for her (probably sounds a little mean but I need some time to unwind - if I'm at her house constantly I just can't relax at all) Is this unreasonable? I'm not really sure what to do.

OP posts:
Lippy1234 · 24/03/2020 14:34

I think that’s ok as we are allowed to visit vulnerable people. My DM has advanced Alzheimer’s and I think I can still visit and help her.

Sn0tnose · 24/03/2020 14:41

At the moment, the guidance is that it’s ok to go out to care for someone vulnerable, but I’d prepare yourself for the possibility that you might need to stay with her at some point. Maybe start thinking about how you would arrange things so you can work, sleep and have a minute to yourself.

LIVVI1234 · 24/03/2020 14:48

Thank you for the replies - I'll definitely carry on as I am until we're told otherwise (I have proof in my car in case I'm questioned). I think I will need to accept I will eventually be staying with her - especially if people don't start following guidelines.

I am not seeing anyone else so hopefully I'm not increasing her risk anymore than I would be staying at hers.

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 24/03/2020 16:25

MS is on the vulnerable list.

LIVVI1234 · 24/03/2020 16:31

Is it? I haven't seen it mentioned anywhere. I must've been looking at the wrong thing.

OP posts:
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