To be angry with my dh for lying???

[SleeplessInTheStaceym11House]

Right long story short (ok might just be a long story).

dh had an xbox 360, got fed up of it and sold it. a few weeks later one turns up on the doorstep so i phone and ask where its come from. he tells me he doesn't know and will investigate via littlewoods which was where it came from. so he gets back to me saying he won some competition he entered whilst i was on holiday.

and that was that, until today when i accidentally open his littlewoods statement instead of mine, and see he brought it! what should i do? he's lying to me!

We have had severe money problems this month and i asked to see his bank to work out what we could afford to pay (mortgage, rent, food) and what needed putting off till a later date. but he wouldnt let me see it, i don't know if it's because of this or something else, and now i'm scared to find out!

what do i do??

No you are not being unreasonable!

You need to sit down and talk this through with him. Let him know you're angry, but also ask him to show you how he is going to help deal with the finances.

Time for dh to grow up, I think!

He's not really behaving like an adult.
He needs to send it back and get a refund.
And perhaps the Littlewoods statement isn't a great idea whilst you both have severe money problems.
Could you ask them to freeze it?

HC, money as of today is sorted (his pay got f*cked up) so its now not about the money really, more to do with the fact hes lying. hes had the xbox for a few months now so no refund, iv tried to convince him to sell on ebay (like when our car needed fixing) and he wouldnt go through with it! arrrrgggghhh!

Lots of sympathy coming your way from sunny Notts Stace - it's a horrid situation to be in.

Why oh why can't men grow up??

The lying thing is foul (and the sort of thing you expect teenagers to do, not grown men who are fathers!) I have the same problem a lot of the time - and agree that you need to sit down and discuss it properly because in an adult relationship you need to be able to trust each other completely.

it could be a teenagery thing left over iykwim, hes only 22 and dd was born when he was 19 so he doesnt always make the best decisions, but im a mother now despite the fact im olny 20 so i no longer spend £70 on a pair of trousers i cant afford!!!

(wisteria, house plans not going well, his company need to get the @rses in gear if they dont want my foot up it!)

I do understand, I was only 20 when I had dd1 too. It is often much harder when men become premature parents LOL but they have to acknowledge that some things have to be sacrificed.
My dp is 5yrs younger than me and so our dcs aren't even his IYSWIM and he is having to do some very fast growing up as our budget doesn't stretch to what his friends can do.
We sat down and worked out that anything over his basic pay was his (circumstances permitting) so if he 'needed' an Xbox then it would come out of his going out money etc. Funnily enough he never bought one!

(Sorry to hear of your house plans going awry)

well we sat and talked....well mroe i sat and talked and he sat in silence and i got angry and went to bed, now hes gone off to work without a word....oh i hate all this!

Oh it's horrid, but you will get through it and if you love each other it's worth working through - don't expect him to grow up overnight, he won't!- just watch for small changes and slowly slowly, catch the monkey! .

What helped with us was me introducing him to a friend's hubbie (slightly older big kid) who could give him some 'male perspective', unfortunately this had to happen on a night on the lash but it was worth it!

YANBU
Don't know what else to put as I'd probably kick him out but that's probably an over reaction!

i don't know what to say...

i've just found out that hubby has been using an overdraft - that i didn't know we had.

so, after a year of hidding bank statements i found one when i came in early and hit the roof - 700 pounds that we can't afford.

now, he's wondering why i'm being so strict with his 'personal' money now. personal being the household weekly food shop!

and as most men say ' i was going to pay it back ' my arse. my name is on the account too so i feel very pissed off.

cookies, theres no way id kick him out, h the father ofmy children and i love him wholeheartedly. i just feel so betrayed! i dont see why h had to lie to me!

he said it was because he knew how id ract. because i told him not to get rid of te first one!!

(my keyboard not working well sorry for typos!)

casbie, i think thats worse in a way, because its your money too. at least this is my dh's only and he is paying it off. not that we can really afford it. wish i had 50 a month to spend on something i liked!

Has betterdays got an equally stupi friend in @SimplerTimes00s