To consider going to mum's house for lockdown?

[Maria53]

Now that the three week (at minimum) lockdown has been announced I am wondering whether to stay where I am or go to my mum's tomorrow after she suggested it.

I live alone and am well stocked up for about a week without shopping, working from home. But up until last year I was suffering in terms of mental health...have felt much better in last 6 months but have felt myself going backwards since all this started.

I like to think I can tough it out for 3 weeks-1 month alone but I am going to be so lonely.

My mum has been working from home for about 9 days and drives to my vulnerable grandmother's house every other day. One concern I have is her regularly being in a house where carers are also entering every day as they visit many people locally. I have asthma and want to limit contact as much as poss.

Do I just need to such up the loneliness for this period like a lot of other people or should I go and be with my mum and my cat? Accept I may not be thinking logically

I think it's too late for that for I'm afraid. It will be difficult but try and consider the opportunities- what books do you want to read, catch up on films etc. Think of it as a little bit of self solace. Do you meditate at all? Try some online yoga and Pilates. There's loads we can do really 💐

Anyone else on here that will also be alone?

I suppose I can try to think of it as solace. I have a call with 2 good friends planned for Thurs night & a regular class I go to on Wed as we are going to try a virtual version.

But yes it's quite frightening the thought of being alone for that long. Of everyone I work with I realised today during a video meeting I am the only one that will be totally alone the whole period. Others have family, partners or flatmates. I thought I had lucked out having my own place but now!

Going to your Mums would be the worst thing you can do in your situation.

Your vulnerable grandma is the reason I would stay away. Can you order books to read? What do you like to do?

I know I am not special in this respect, as many are going through the same thing.

I have books. I'm a writer and will have more time to do that at least. Hiking and dancing have helped a lot with my mental health, but wont be able to get out to do those anymore.

Coping with the solitude is going to be hard for those of us living alone.

But I am thinking what if it isn't over in 3 weeks? When am I going to see my family again? My friends?

Or is this just how it is going to be now

You can dance at home. You are allowed out for a walk as long as you maintain your distance.

You can have a chat on here if you feel a bit overwhelmed, there will always be someone here for you. Sending love and best wishes.

But I am thinking what if it isn't over in 3 weeks? When am I going to see my family again? My friends?

We are all wondering the same thing. I am in a similar position, I live with depression and anxiety and from about mid February I was starting to get my groove back. I was feeling good and getting into a healthy routine. That's gone to shit in the last 9 days and I am scared of how I'll cope. But at the end of the day, this is bigger than me. We are all going to have to deal.

Do you have a garden to go out for exercises/ reading/ cup of tea? Could you join a Facebook group for something? I joined recently a group of parents and now this group gives me much more support than my physical friends, I don’t have many by the way, only 2.

It is to late now given the death rate in Italy was the same number as the UK on the 7th of March. An elderly man died in Ireland today, he was in hospital from the 7th of March with coronavirus. You've no idea if your already infected, I bet 1000's are unaware yet. How healthy is your DM.

Dont think beyond the 3 weeks. We dont know what will happen and it will only stress you out. Now is when we all need to live in the moment a bit more. xxxx

I’m 47, have lived on my own for 22 years, pretty introverted, and up to now I’ve loved it. But, I have no kids, no parents, no spouse, and a sibling I really don’t get along with. And I’m really quite anxious about it. I am WFH so I’ll have people to talk to but we tend to do stuff by messenger or email and it’s a fairly new job so I don’t know people well enough to just ring up for a chat. I have a small group of friends but I can’t be ringing them up every day can I? I’ll feel like a pain.

I’m absolutely going to go for my walk a day. I’m not going to put my ear buds in - I’m going to at least say hello to everybody. That’s a start. I had depression last year and have a month of left over low dose ADs left - I might take one a day - I’ll see how I feel. Feel free to message me on here if you’re struggling xx

Too late. We are locked down. You can't just up and go to your mum's, if everyone did that its not a lockdown!

I live in a flat so not really a proper garden, no. I know there is a park I could walk to, so I can look on maps and figure that out.

My DM is fairly healthy but she is still 57. Healthy people getting sick too.

@MunaZaldrizoti I am sorry to hear you're in a similar position. It's hard isn't it? I'd just spent a few years with some sad things happening and things were finally going well. I had finally got into a good mental space and it is scary to feel the threat of that unravelling.

I understand the risk and that is why i have barely left the house as it is. But how many of us have ever been alone for this long? It's unprecedented.

Try and set up some regular “Skype dates” with friends and family. I live abroad and have had this arrangement for years and it has really helped with the loneliness and homesickness I feel at times.

No sorry but the government advice is clear, no unnecessary travel which their website says means you should stay in your primary residence

Hey @Maria53
It can be lonely indeed.
I can highly recommend utilising modern technology and using skype or similar to have dinners together or a drink and a chat. Or just chill.
It does help a bit in my experience.

Stay home. Please, for your nan if nothing else.

I’m also alone. Have always loved living alone but currently really uncomfortable with it. Would do anything for a cuddle off my mum right now (although if I could even get the train there she’d probably hose me with disinfectant and make me camp in the garden for 2 weeks!). But the more people comply now the fewer people will die. And the sooner this will be over.

But I am thinking what if it isn't over in 3 weeks? When am I going to see my family again? My friends?

That goes for all of us. He couldn't have been more clear in his message. Don't go and see family members, you are wanting to do one thing he has said not to do.

You have to stay at home.

If you did a big shop so that you didn’t need to leave the house for 14 days and could completely self-isolate it would then presumably leave you in a safe position to go and live with your Mum as you’d know you’re virus free.

Good point BillysMyBunny, I'll bear that in mind.

Ok everyone. I just told my mum I wont be going to stay with her - her reply - ok but you've still got tomorrow to change your mind.....

Seems a few people have been struggling with anxiety etc here so maybe I can come back to this thread when/if the sorrow hits

Feel for everyone. It's a bizarre time and unprecedented for our generation. Be kind to yourself.

I’m on my own as well, normally I love my own company but it’s different when it’s not my choice. It’ll be a long few weeks, but I’m going to get loads done in the house and FaceTime with friends. Take care of yourself and pick up the phone when you start feeling down