to send son to childminder?

[cloudbutter]

My son is nearly 18 months old. I am a key worker in law enforcement. I will be working from home. I live with a GP who is still seeing patients where he has to, and is high risk of contracting coronavirus. I can't work from home when my son is here (though can work briefly when he is napping and when he is asleep in the evening). My childminder is lovely and has said she will have him, however stated many times that I should only send him if I really can't keep him at home. She has a family of her own to think about and is obviously concerned that I am living with a front line NHS worker who sees sick patients every day and may be called to work in our local hospital. Should I send him? WIBU to? Or should I try and come to a compromise with my boss? I don't know how well it'll go down and I won't be able to do my job properly so I may just be told I either work my regular hours or take unpaid leave. Can anyone advise?

stated many times that I should only send him if I really can't keep him at home.

That’s really all you need to know. Think about how your childminder is really likely to be feeling. She doesn’t want to let you down, and she wants to do her bit to ensure that people who have to can go to work. But you’re working from home so while difficult, it’s not impossible for you to keep your child safe, and the adult in the house who is the biggest risk isn’t one that has the responsibility for the child she’d be in contact with anyway.

You should try and compromise with your boss I think, employers, even key worker ones, have to accept the limitations of staff working from home with children around.

If you’ve been allowed to stay at home to minimise the risk from your job, shouldn’t your childminder be entitled to the same?

No- keep him home. Some jobs- even important ones- are just not being done right now. It’s tough but it’s how it has to be. You are far from the only one.

Lots of people are having to do their best to work from home with kids there. Me included. My 2 are primary age so as well as working I'm doing my best to facilitate home-learning too. Day 1 so far.

I don't think you should send her to the CM.

keep him at home.

Yes. Keep him home. Everyone- keep your children at home and stay away from others if at all possible. Your childminder is probably terrified. Like most of us. Your job will have to suffer but right now health trumps everything else.

It's so difficult because I can't work with him at home but cannot afford to take unpaid leave. I guess if my boss isn't willing to compromise I will have to send him. It just feels wrong to send him.

Keep him home. Use CBeebies or whatever is needed to get a bit of work done.

Sending in should be a last resort not just because it’s a bit of an inconvenience

@sirzy it's not just a bit of an inconvenience though. As a key worker choosing to keep my son home and thus being forced to take unpaid leave, I won't be entitled to the 80% pay as I am choosing not to send him and have the choice to use childcare. I have to pay my bills. I feel really tearful and anxious. I know a lot of people are in the same position. I don't want to send him.

Is your workload really has heavy as what it was before? Do you have to do it 9-5? Could you instead doing around your OH hours?

Can you get up at say 5am and work until he wakes up, then work again after he is in bed?

It feels wrong because it is wrong. Youve not even tried to make arrangements with work, so that is what you need to do first.

So everyone has told you not to send him including your childminder but you are going to send him anyway - why did you bother asking?

Keep him home and accept that you are going to be a bit of a crap parent and a bit of a crap worker while you do your best to navigate doing both activities just as everyone around you is having to. Your work will have to make allowances in what they can expect from you and you will find your way.

You aren't any different from anyone else and shouldn't be using childcare because you can keep your dc with you.

Can’t you just tell your boss that your childminder can’t have him? Her willingness to help is actually putting you and her in a difficult position.

Tell your boss that your childminder says no? I'm sure the childminder would put that in writing for you if asked to.

My job is with a Law Enforcement Agency. The current climate has put my workload through the roof with the type of crime I deal with. I have to make numerous phonecalls every day and can't do this at 5am. I have to go out on visits which I am still expected to do even though coronavirus is happening. I'm not trying to be obstructive. I'm working from home in between visits once I am out of self isolation. I just don't know how it would work. There is only one of me which is utterly shit as I have nobody to fall back on. I am going to speak to my boss to see what he says. I always intended on doing this.

Which department are you in?

So you're not working from home because you're still having to do rounds/home visits etc, as are my team, your husband's a GP childcare provision was left open for you

X posts. If you're doing visits, you don't have a choice but to put your son in childcare.

Don’t send him if you can possibly avoid it.

I’m a childminder. I’m taking the child of frontline hospital doctors and I’m very worried. They’ve no choice. I’d really rather those who can should stay away.

Incidentally, I’m also losing most of my income. Some parents have said they’ll continue to pay something while they can, but not all are in that position.

I’m disgusted with the employers trying to game the situation and using it to profit. I wish there was some way of reporting them.

The person I live with is not my husband. He's another family member and hasn't got anything to do with my childcare. I'm a single parent and my son doesn't see his dad due to safeguarding. I'm going to try and work something out with HR but by the sounds of the conversation I just had with my boss I won't get paid unless my visits are done. I don't want to send him to the childminder and want to avoid this but equally as I'm as key worker and not entitled to the 80%, I won't be able to live on 0 pay. I do realise that I'm not alone in this dilemma

@tanith I just won't be in a position to pay her if I have to keep my son home. I could probably pay a percentage. I really feel for you. It must be so stressful. It's like you are being forced to either lose all your income, or keep some of it by putting your family at risk.

Probably best to make your own decision. People replying here only know what you tell them and it's a slightly confusing situation. They will also leap to judgement at the first opportunity.

@tootletum you're probably right. I hate that it all comes down to finances.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-maintaining-educational-provision/guidance-for-schools-colleges-and-local-authorities-on-maintaining-educational-provision

Read the guidance. You are a key worker. You can't do your job while providing safe childcare for your son and you do not have any other family member who can do this. Childcare providers, including childminders, are therefore being asked to provide childcare for you and you are entitled to use it without being made to feel guilty.

However, if you feel that reduced hours might be acceptable to your boss and you and mean you don't need (much?) childcare then there is no harm asking?

Can’t you just tell your boss that your childminder can’t have him? Her willingness to help is actually putting you and her in a difficult position.

Tell your boss that your childminder says no? I'm sure the childminder would put that in writing for you if asked to.

OP is a single parent keyworker. If her usual childminder is not taking children she has access to childcare provision elsewhere. It will be made available to her in a local nursery or school.