To look after friends child

[suitepea]

I am self employed and always WFH. I have an 18month old. My closest mum friend has had her childminder close on Friday, she asked me if I can take her LO 3 days a week so she can keep going to work. She works in a small retail store, her boss is ruthless and she is worried if she is unable to go to work due to childcare issues she will get fired. She was made redundant during maternity leave and has worked really hard to get this new job and has only been there for 3 months.

What would be the right thing to do in this situation? I'm trying to practice social distancing but I feel like I should help my friend.

I can't decide what's worse, to not fully isolate or let down my friend.

Your own child needs to be your priority.
You can help your friend by calling around and trying to help her find someone to watch her child while she works.

No I wouldn’t do this.
If she is a key worker then the advice is to call the council who will help her find a space . Or her employer just has to accept that and non essential retail closing is already happening

No way can you do this - if she is working in retail she is facing people all day and could easily pass on to her child and then yours and you. If she is a key worker then there will be support in place locally,

You know the answer. You don't try to practice social distancing - everyone who possibly can needs to do it.

Nope, I’d say sorry but I’m following advice and socially distancing, I’d hate it if you were infected because your child was with me or vice versa. No one knows who is infected but not showing symptoms yet so we have to avoid everyone

Absolutely not. As hard as it is you must say no unfortunately.

You should REFUSE

Looking after a friend's DC is not social distancing

and she's working in a retail store, not as an NHS doctor, so you are not even helping an essential worker
You are risking adding to the burden on the NHS ... and increasing the risk to your own family

Agree with others that you should refuse. It's likely her shop will be forced to close soon anyway.

We had initially talked about it weeks ago and I had agreed, way before things got as serious as they are now. I have been hoping that her store would close so the situation would resolve itself. She works in a hardware store and her boss has plans for if he's forced to close the shop to stay open but make it click and collect type of thing, so she would still need childcare.

It's such a horrible situation as she has to keep paying childcare but now won't be getting paid if they get rid of her, how can we be friends after this.

Thanks everyone I know it's the right thing to do, just needed some straight talking!

No way.

Where I live, hardware stores are on the essentials list. She would be classed as a key worker and entitled to child care. Now finding a provider is tricky, but there are some still operating even here.

I would not bring the child to your home. We have to stay separated as much as possible.

"she has to keep paying childcare"

Well, not if the CM / nursery is closed and she has no income herself
This could go on for 3 months or more

"how can we be friends after this"

If her friendship requires you to risk your health, she's no friend

Explain that the crisis has drastically worsened since you first agreed,
that we must all socially distance
and you can't take the risk

Sorry I would not be doing that.

You let down your friend as you need to put your child first

Where I live, hardware stores are on the
essentials list.
The list is national! Someone is being very creative in their interpretation of key worker where you are cos hardware stores don’t seem to count anywhere else.
OP sorry you’re in such a difficult position

I don't think you can, and I don't think she should be asking.

The store need to offer to help her with this. Amazed they are still open, they may not be by the end of the week max, so maybe the problem will disappear anyway.

Why is she continuing to pay for childcare if it is no longer operating? I think that also needs to be addressed, that strikes me as very unfair for someone on a low wage already.

@wecandothispeeps

This is normal at the moment - most nurseries and childminders are expecting us parents to continue to pay 100% childcare (which in many cases is more than our mortgages) despite being closed

The risk to the friend is low - I'd look after the child.

No !!

Unfortunately people who need to work but can’t access childcare are going to be in a total mess. But if you or your child were to get sick, you reallly run a risk if being unable to get medical help.

The thing is she is potentially going to be getting CoVid19 every day and bringing it to you via her child. So the opposite of social distancing.

Don’t do it OP, it’s too risky.

@itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted In my area it’s 50 percent they are making you pay , so you are being ripped off if it’s 100, unless you can afford it to support the local business.

I was going to say no until I saw your update- you've already said yes! Isn't it getting a bit late to say no now? I'd at least give her a bit of notice so she can work out something else

@louisetrees

Unfortunately in my area there are more kids than there are childminders so the childminders band together to act like a cartel - refusing to sign up for 30 hours (even though the hourly rate they get from the LA in my area is more than what they charge normally and they get paid the whole term up front) and refusing to sign up to the tax free childcare account (I suspect because they don't want HMRC knowing what they earn and what they don't declare!)

So everyone it seems I've spoken to in my area are being told to pay in full

No we can't afford to pay indefinitely - but we are being threatened with "if you don't pay you won't have a place when this is all over" and if we don't have a place we can't work - our bosses will only be flexible for so long - in a few weeks we ll be expected to be back at work as normal