I need to let off steam about SIL (and this shows it is *not* just the elderly being irresponsible!).

[SarahAndQuack]

My SIL, in her 30s, still lives at home with her parents. MIL is just shy of 60 and has smoked since she was 12; she is in poor health. FIL is turning 70 in a few days and has heart problems (along with other medical issues).

SIL works as a GP receptionist. Obviously she can't avoid all contact with patients and is a likely vector for infection. The house is small and MIL sleeps on the living room sofa as for years she's been unable to get to sleep in the same bed as FIL. There's only one toilet. It'd be hard or impossible for anyone to isolate from other members of the household.

MIL seems to get that it is serious. SIL does not. She keeps complaining about how OTT the government is, how it's just like flu, how silly it is to make a fuss. She alternates between saying everyone will get it so there's no point taking precautions, and claiming it's not very contagious so we don't need to worry. She's said they've had no symptoms so they're all fine, while simultaneously telling us that she's heard you often have no symptoms even if you have the virus (no shit). We just found out that yesterday SIL took both elderly parents to Tesco. There were hour-long queues to get in and it was a scrum inside. They didn't actually need to buy anything but went anyway, just in case.

SIL is in charge of other people at her work and was mocking them asking to put their desks further away from one another, as she's sure we'll all get it anyway. She washes her hands, but doesn't like to use sanitiser as it dries her skin.

I am right at the end of my tether with her. We tried to talk to her about it today; she was busy saying how silly it is they've closed Old People's Homes to visitors as surely it would be lonely? Tried to suggest maybe it'd be an idea to just eat food in the house (FIL is a hoarder; there is food for an army for months), and she said they had to go out because 'the stockpilers' are stealing all the food.

ARGH.

Please tell me this idiocy is not just mine to deal with?!

Mine, although nearer 60 than 30, frontline retired NHS, sent a joke picture tonight of her and her mates in the garden having drinks with a caption re no worries etc. Fucking idiotic.

Oh well, last hurrah before we’re on lockdown because people think it’s ok to wander round and travel for miles to have a lovely day out with the kids.

@cherrysoup, ARGH! How infuriating.

And you'd think they'd know better from working in the NHS!

My SIL is a GP; she was out visiting family today (including a higher risk asthmatic).

SIL works as a GP receptionist... is in charge of other people at her work and was mocking them

Is there special training for GP receptionists? Do they all have to have that sort of attitude or does it grow with the role?

I have wondered that myself!

I'm really shocked she gets away with this in her job.

Frightening she works in a GP surgery. Do you think part of it is that underneath she’s panicking (hence all the contradictory statements) so pretending everything is fine is her way of coping?

If she were my SIL, I’d go for some straight-talking and some of the videos coming out of Italy. I’d also point out people on ventilators who are a similar age to her.

Who says the elderly are irresponsible?

Offensive title op

Oh, I'm sorry - I didn't mean it to be offensive. I'm so bloody fed up with all the newspaper articles and comments about how it's the elderly who are being irresponsible. I feel as if I can't move for someone telling me it's my elderly parents who are not taking proper care. And it is not them!

@BreatheAndFocus - yes, you're probably right that to some extent it is her way of coping. But TBH I have little patience for it. We just don't have the luxury of being patient while she does this!

Increasingly believe that denial is the only way some people can cope with the potential magnitude of all this. I think we are seeing in all age groups and backgrounds. I think we have to try and understand this irrational behaviour more than condem it.

I'd tell her how many dead are in Italy despite lockdown, she's obv not reading news & not catching the new TV ad or Boris's briefings.

SIL, works in a hospital (IT support), in the same building as other NHS staff who have tested positive. Support staff as well as frontline staff.

Until yesterday, still insisting on visiting PILs and taking kids with her.

Both over 70. FIL has stage IV cancer. MIL has a couple of underlying conditions. FIL is now semi-conscious on a morphine pump, having collapsed during the week. Paramedics said normally they would admit him, but not now.

There will be no support for MIL, neither by FIL going into hospice nor by additional nursing support at home. Community nurse will continue to come in once a week as long as she can/is needed.

Every time FIL gets out of bed now he falls down. He has multiple broken ribs.

MIL is FILs only support. I could have understood if SIL was actually helping MIL with care, but she wasn’t.

MIL has finally put her foot down (with DH backup). But ffs.

I'm amazed they let any patients into their practice, our GP banned all apps in surgery, phone apps only.

She's in her 30's and lets her mother sleep on the sofa. Jesus, she's selfish and stupid.

Might help if they stopped referring to it as any kind of "flu", which it isn't. Since a huge proportion of the population refer to themselves having flu every year, even multiple times a year, then they don't have the first fucking bit of understanding what ACTUAL flu is. Perhaps if they did, this might make more sense.

They need to call it pneumonia. Or something like SARS - people were more bothered by that and most people know that pneumonia is actually pretty serious (don't they? Please tell me they do?).

Covid 19 pneumonia - that's what it should be referred to (IMO)

That's awful OP.

Make sure you're very clear with her that she should either stay with a friend for 12 weeks+ OR be taking everything much more seriously (i.e. shower and change clothes after work, use the hand gel etc. and definitely avoid taking your FIL to busy supermarkets).

I agree with the poster above who pointed out that the press constantly referring to Covid as a 'Mild Illness for many' is really really unhelpful. Even younger people can end up seriously ill and there's no way of knowing how well/unwell someone will be with it. The fact that there are asymptomatic or mildly affected people just makes it easier for the disease to spread.