To leave job because of selfish person

[alaiafaith]

Hiya,

So I work with this girl, we sit near each other, she is usually nice and friendly. Over the past month, she has been constantly been selfish,
about me, being really rude, and just being a horrible person in general.
I don't know what to do, should I put in complaint, or just quit my job?
AIBU?

You'll be in lockdown soon soon so does it really matter?

Don't quit your job at the moment. Maybe she's been stressed about COVID19 - can you address the problem directly to her rather than reporting - for example 0 come out and sa 'Have I don't something wrong because you seem to be being rude to me and give her an example.

@OlaEliza,
I know we will be on lockdown soon, but after when we get back to our jobs I'm worried it will get worse.

I cant be arsed with people like that, so i would find a quiet moment and ask her whats wrong. Maybe its something you've done, but maybe she's got health-impaired parents or something and is so caught up in worry about them that she's forgotten how to be a decent person. Either way, if you dont ask, you wont know.

Thank you for the advice, @funnylittlefloozie and @BBCONEANDTWO

It’s quite childish to suggest you would leave a job because you don’t like a colleague. Fair enough if you’re being bullied but in this case it seems to be a personality clash. You need to grow up a bit: you can’t like and get in with everyone all the time.

You say she has been selfish both in your title and the OP, but you don't say what she has done that's selfish?

Pretty stupid to give up a job when everything is so uncertain. But it’d benefit somebody who has lost/will lose their job, so knock yourself out.

Don’t bank on lockdown, That might never happen

You would be stupid to quit a job at the moment with everything that is going on, one is going to need money. With current circumstances I think it’s just a case of sucking it up 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's a bit extreme to talk about resigning unless there's a lot more to this. If her behaviour is in fact bullying then yes, make a complaint.

If not, I would have a word with her in private, say you've noticed she isn't acting her normal friendly self and is anything wrong? I would let your manager know you are doing this beforehand.

Frame it as concern and trying to reestablish a good working relationship rather than about her doing anything wrong.

It may well be that she is having a difficult time personally and can't shake it off at work.

You’ve not actually said what she’s done that’s so bad? Which tbh makes me think it’s likely to be small things. Which yes, over time can be very wearing but are not worth quitting a job over.

Can you sit somewhere else where you’re further away from her?

But you would be mad to quit your job over this at the moment, unless you can afford to not work for months on end.

If this is a recent change in personality or attitude then I think the best thing to do (at first) is to speak with her.
It could be anything that has triggered this and it may be something easily resolved just by talking.

I would definitely try this approach first before considering anything more drastic.

Are you in an environment where the company allow you to wear headphones? I work in an office environment and we can wear head phones to block out the noise or listen to podcasts\music etc, and you can just get on with your work without the social interaction.

Don’t leave your job. You’re going to come across shitheads your entire life; learn to deal with them or just not care.

Either let her be as mean as she likes and don’t care - or if it is affecting your work and slander (libel? Not sure) is getting back towards your boss then report her. I doubt from your post you’ll be willing to speak to her direct!

Are you working in the home office? Are you a senior civil servant? Is the mean girl Priti Patel?*

*On an unrelated note Patel must be thanking her lucky stars for Coronavirus. She'd probably have been out of a job if it weren't for it dominating news coverage.