To hate the expectation on Mother’s Day from my mother

[littleblackdress04]

My DD just rang my mother to wish her happy Mother’s Day- I don’t think the cards we sent got there in time probably with everything going on. I also didn’t send flowers this year because the florist in her small town didn’t answer the phone.

My mother just cut my 8 year old daughter off on the phone to talk to my sister whose card has arrived. My mother is a bit of a narcissist at the best of times but now my DD is in tears!

Aibu to bloody hate Mother’s Day? So much fucking expectation

If your mum has form for being a dick then I understand that by you’re upset.

But just in the context of your post I believe you are both in the wrong.

Call your mum now and explain that you posted a card on Thursday and check that it came. Be the bigger person and see how she responds.

Wow, the snark is real in this thread.

OP, sounds like there’s a long backstory and your mum has form for this. Sorry you’re feeling shit. Enjoy your day with your daughter.

Cutting someone off mid sentence is incredibly rude and nasty. Doing it to a child is cruel.

However as coolcool and a couple of others have mentioned, this thread has attracted a particular type of poster for whom the OP will always be in the wrong.

If the OP had posted upset that she hadn't received flowers herself she would also be wrong, entitled, ungrateful etc.

If she'd pisted about her child not receiving a birthday present or card from grandparents and cutting them off when they phoned she'd be cut to metaphorical ribbons and told her child was all that is wrong with this generation of children.

When she objects to the same behavior from her mother she hasn't tried hard enough, her mother is right to be upset about lack of flowers and to hamg up on an 8 year old and the 8 year old is wrong to be upset and should be the bigger person.

The hypocrisy is open and the thread has attracted posters who will put the boot in until the OP confesses that 2+2=5 and she's wrong and sorry and suitably humbled.

OP I can totally empathise. Mother's Day and my mother's birthday are the 2 days each year I dread. She's a narcissist.

Since I was a young child I remember nothing was ever good enough and I always ended up being roared at.

One year when I was maybe between 8-10 years old I bought a card that said "happy Mother's Day mummy". she roared at me because she's not called mummy, she's mammy and wouldn't speak to me for the rest of the day.

We are not close and I've spent more of my adult life in no contact with her than on speaking terms. She has made my life hell.

I was relieved today because I had an excuse to not have sent a card (self isolating), so I text her (cause we are not people that really call on the phone too often as when we do she just talks about herself)
I got a measly "thanks" back!

I know she is calling me every name under the sun right now to my siblings because all other "normal" children will have posted a happy mother's day to the best mother on social media, and clearly she will never ever get that from me. She craves the social media praise so badly.

I hate it I hate it I hate it

Today is about you and your DD, focus on you and try not to let your mum's coldness damage your day.

OP I think you might feel guilty for not sending her something in time but tbh that does not give her the right to upset your dd.

Shrug it off, tell your dd not to worry and reassure that you would never do that to her or anyone else. It's your mum's behaviour, her problem and says more about her as a person than anything else.

Adults expecting cards and presents are a mystery to me. She should grow the fuck up. (Don't say that bit to your dd).

I sent a present and card in the post first class on Wednesday and my mum didn’t receive hers but mil did, I guess post is unreliable depending on staffing.

My sympathies op my mum is the same which is why I don’t let my children have hardly any contact with her and I only contact her myself when I can cope with her

I don't understand these responses OP. She's behaved horribly and YANBU.

I don't understand them either. She sounds awful and I personally wouldn't give a monkeys if my DC didn't get a card to me in time, a call would be great. Rise above it.

Bit mean hanging up on a child. I have a narcissist parent bloody hard work.
Our post is erratic at moment so some days no post here. Hope u ok. I ignore this behaviour now its hurtful though

My mother is a raging narcissist too and although I sent flowers and a card she got passive aggressive with me this morning over Skype for not being effusive enough about Mother's Day. Apparently I didn't say "Happy Mother's Day" quickly enough .

Is there a back story here?

YANBU.

DH sent MIL's card and pressie in the post last weekend so she got them in plenty of time. I, however, have cancelled Mothers Day for our house as youngest's activity (which is the only one where she would make anything) was cancelled for this week, naturally, and as apart from school they weren't going anywhere last week they havne't had a chance to buy anything.

As I'd rather have a well family than a card and chocs, I'm fine with this. I'm more gutted at missing out on my time to myself that I would usually get as of course DH can't take the kids with him to see his mum. LOL!