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AIBU?

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Original poster

What am I realistically supposed to do?!

75 replies

Carpetforsale · 22/03/2020 10:32

I completely understand why shops now feel the need to limit customers and "strongly disencourage" children from entering but what the hell do I do?

I'm running low on nearly everything because I just don't have any spare £s to stock pile. I have 3 DCs and am a single parent so who's gonna watch them so I can get all my groceries? I didn't have any family support before CV and it's literally been me and DCs on our own for so long. I don't have any friends and the earliest I can get a home delivery is the 10th of April. How do I feed my kids???

OP posts:
LouLouLoo · 22/03/2020 12:52

Phone the store and explain. They may offer to do your shop for you and you just go through the checkout when you get there to minimise your time in store.

Lucked · 22/03/2020 12:57

Just leave them in the car, bring some books and toys. If you absolutely must take the 6 year old in with you.

Borisdaspide · 22/03/2020 12:59

Unless they are particularly daft children, I'd leave them at home with a favourite film on. Statistically absolutely nothing is likely to happen. Latch key kids are likely to be on the comeback during this issue.

ItsAllTheDramaMickIJustLoveIt · 22/03/2020 13:01

I’d take them with me. Honestly I wouldn’t turn a hair at someone taking their kids around and would assume that like your situation, there were no other options. Even if you did have people to help you, you’d be avoiding them as much as you can right now. Best to go, get as much as you can in the way of your shopping list so you can avoid going out again.

pickletickled · 22/03/2020 13:23

I wouldn't leave children at that age home alone OP said it's a 30 min drive to shops. That's too long. Running to the local shop i'd consider but not this.
Is there absolutely anyone that could/would accompany you in the car to sit with dc while you go in?
If not, I'd take them if I absolutely had to with strict instruction that hands stay in pockets, no touching allowed and get it done.
If possible go somewhere that has a few shops or supermarkets close by in case you can't get what you need easily - you only want to be doing this once ideally then book a slot for delivery.
I really feel for you and others in your position.

TerrorWig · 22/03/2020 13:24

If you can’t get someone to go for you, then I would park the older ones in the cafe or the car and take the smallest in with you. Give them a well stocked tablet or phone to keep them company. You could ask at the customer service desk first about the cafe as it might be closed. They might have someone available to shop for you.

I really feel for you.

PicsInRed · 22/03/2020 13:27

The fuck would I leave small children home alone or alone in the car.

You need food OP, go get food.

Do what you need to do and refuse to be shamed.

slipperywhensparticus · 22/03/2020 13:30

I'm taking my two if I have too my 11 year old I can leave in the car but not my 7 year old he has special needs and his big brother does so big brother reacts badly to little brother kicking off and they end up belting each other 🤦‍♀️ I wish my daughter had come home from university she could have watched them for me but she is in Wales for the foreseeable

LIZS · 22/03/2020 13:31

Local shops here are taking phone orders for collection. Check you parish council or church website as many are organising volunteers to fetch shopping and prescriptions.

DisappearingGirl · 22/03/2020 13:51

I think there's going to have to be a balance between what's ideal and what's practicable here, and we're in danger of witch hunt territory.

We're trying to reduce cumulative risk across the whole society, so the more people can reduce contact in general, the better. However in some cases that just won't be practical and I don't think it's helpful for people to cause panic about it.

I think if you need to go shopping then go (with appropriate bribe for not poking stuff on way round). I think at an individual level this would be fairly low risk - of the kids catching it, of being v ill if they do catch it, and of passing it on (unless they're mixing with lots of old people).

I also think leaving them in a locked car with a tablet would be fairly low risk.

I also think contacting a Facebook group etc to ask if someone could do a shop for you would be entirely reasonable.

I think any of the above would be an okay option in your circumstances.

CremeEggThief · 22/03/2020 13:53

They're well old enough to be left in the car in the carpark at that age for half an hour to an hour. Stop making a drama of it and go.

agentdaisy · 22/03/2020 14:41

Take them and leave them in the car, take the youngest in with you if you have to.

I'll have to walk to the shop with my two youngest next week as I can't drive, can't get a delivery for two weeks and Dh is a key worker who will be at work from 7am to 5pm every day. All the shops round here are changing their hours to 8-9 for elderly/nhs workers (but not including my Dh who is also a key worker just not nhs) and then 9am-8pm for everyone else. Technically Dh could go to the shop at 5pm but for the last week there's been sod all left by lunchtime never mind 5.

It sucks but its the only option as we're fast running out of staples because I didn't panic buy a couple of weeks ago when this all started.

Superlooper · 22/03/2020 14:56

It's not banned because of people like you OP. You have no choice

Its discouraged because people were shopping in groups, e.g. 2 adults and a teen when 1 could go.

Just do your shopping, sanitize trolley/ all hands before and after , don't let the kids touch stuff you're not buying.

Neverender · 22/03/2020 15:30

I just took my 3yr old to Tesco. No trolley. No going near people, well prepared list. In then out ASAP. Home, don't touch face, wash hands. Done! People need to eat.

Neverender · 22/03/2020 15:31

I also don't want to take a delivery slot from someone who should be self-isolating as they're unwell or they have a pre-existing condition.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 22/03/2020 15:34

I don't drive so leaving dc in the car isn't an option

Please don’t forget about people in this situation. Whilst the OP has confirmed she drives, this is by no means a universal scenario. The first response on this thread was ‘Leave them in the car’ - ‘the car’ is not a given. The same goes for ‘the garden’ as an option for fresh air.

opticaldelusion · 22/03/2020 16:11

You're a single parent but I presume your children still had a father? Or are they all sperm donor babies?

As a widow with a young son, I find presumptions like this beyond tedious. You've also managed to be pretty offensive to those who've used donor support to have children. Nice one.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 22/03/2020 16:15

Don't leave them in the car or at home. All of you will need to go (assuming no symptoms). It is advisable not to go out, not banned.

Get as much as you reasonably can afford and book slots as soon as you are able to get some

Then look on your local Facebook group and make sure you have the details of the helper groups who can help with delivery of you are self isolating

When you get home, all have showers and wash the clothes you went in right away too to be extra careful

Theresnobslikeshowb · 22/03/2020 16:47

Check Facebook. I’m a coordinator for volunteers we’ve set up in our town, and it’s not just the elderly and vulnerable we are targeting but people like you- who can’t get out easily or have no one to look after their children. There are many towns doing the same, and we are also covering our rural areas.

AllTheseThingsThatIHaveNotDone · 22/03/2020 17:04

You’re a single parent, but I presume your children still had a father?
Huge assumption there peter - My children's father lives and works in a different country. He can do fuck all apart from skyping atm and he also looks after our other child over there. You do not know people's circumstances - physical separation, bereavement, donation etc - the buck stops with us.
That does not even begin to take into account feckless fathers - if they have to be chased for maintenance or contact, why would they suddenly step up now?

Bookoffacts · 23/03/2020 15:17

Very offensive @peterpangoeswrong
Have you not met men?
Get off this website.
Many many men, every day, leave their children behind and don't look back. 99.9% of them then go on to feel fully justified in this. (From "She should have had a termination, it's her fault she's pregnant, I'm not ready for a child" (poor you) through to "It wasn't working out" when they run off wirh a twinky 20 years younger than them with a lovely firm butt. And many many more other reasons.

You're an idiot if you don't know that.
Bloody patriarchy.

Isadora2007 · 23/03/2020 15:18

Take the kids and then leave them in the car? My kids would have been fine in that age range.

PegasusReturns · 23/03/2020 15:22

6-9 is fine for them to be left in the car in these circumstances.

AnnSmiley · 23/03/2020 15:23

I'm having to take mine age 8 and 3. 3yo sits in the trolley I have sanitised, 8yo understands distancing. DH is a keyworker and if we want to get to the shop when there's actually food we don't have a choice.

Whoareyoudududu · 23/03/2020 15:25

I’d leave them in the car. Not sure what people think can possibly happen to children that age locked in a car. They’re sensible enough not to touch the handbreak for example. Just leave them in the car and dash around the shop as quickly as you can, it’s all you can realistically do if you don’t have anyone to shop for you.

Online deliveries are a nightmare atm, I booked one last week and got the soonest slot they had which was three weeks away...

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