To disagree with people because of the way they speak (not because of their ideas)

[MonaLisaDoesntSmile]

To give an example, many years ago while at uni, I was eating lunch in a canteen with some friends. A group of vegan activists turned up and was going from table to table to discuss people's food choices. They came over to us, it all started very nice, we said what we picked and why, and then it turned pretty nasty. They were overal passive-aggressive/aggressive, the way they spoke to us gave us the feeling like if we were inferior. I didn't disagree with them that eating vegetarian or vegan was a better option, but the way they spoke to us really wanted me to go and order a pepperoni pizza and shove it into my mouth in front of their eyes.

You know when people may even be right, but the way they try to convince you is so forceful and unpleasant and makes you feel like a worse sort of human being.

There are ways to debate things, but I am not sure making other people feel small is the best way to make them agree with you?

Im not sure you're any better though. YABU.

I wouldn't have even entertained their questions in the first place. That was your first mistake.

Maybe I'm not, neither are you 😀

@formerbabe it's just an example, the world is full of it. We chat loads with people at work Scott stuff we disagree about, but they're is always an angry person who makes things uncomfortable. I sometimes agree with them, sometimes not, sometimes things make me angry too but I'm trying not to go overboard. I don't mind discussing, just don't think patronising people is the way to convince them.

The holier-than-thou-attitude pisses off most people. I've had people lecturing me that I should do things I already was doing and it made me want to stop doing it just because they were being jerks and thought that they invented "being good to the environment".

I agree and I'm having this argument, very often across the Vegan and vegetarian fb group that I'm on.

Look up 'ad hominem'

I do think people should stop smoking though. The medical evidence is overwhelming, and the cost to the NHS horrendous.

and the cost to the NHS horrendous.

While smoking undoubtedly kills people in horrible ways, you are being too simplistic and forgetting about the even greater benefit to the Treasury - estimates suggest twice as much as it costs the NHS. Not counting the 'new' costs that might be incurred were the person not a smoker at all and didn't handily die younger than most.

fullfact.org/economy/does-smoking-cost-much-it-makes-treasury/

(not a smoker, never have been, never will be)

"I do think people should stop smoking though."

The thing to remember is that we all do things at times we all do things that others could give a sound reason why we shouldn't be doing that and find evidence somewhere to support their argument.

I agree with you. Passive aggressiveness and down-talking is downright rude and fucking annoying as hell.

Does the tax from smoking really equal double the amount that the NHS spends on smokers? That’s a real eye opener

Aye, fine, it's what most people do.

but if you want to change them, or yourself, then you have to be willing to understand them.

So much easier to claim the high ground and shout. And possibly, just possibly, project. Your post is full of possible projection. Are you brave enough to look at that?

@ChristmasFluff Absolutely, can you give examples of projections im my post though? I don't mind being challenged.

@ChristmasFluff I would also diagree that it is what most people do- I think a lot may, but a lot of people are completely fine with having a normal conversation, even if we tend to agree to disagree at the end.
Certainly in the media you see more big egos and people ridiculing each other to make their point.

The thing to remember is that we all do things at times we all do things that others could give a sound reason why we shouldn't be doing that and find evidence somewhere to support their argument.

My gym is shut and I am wfh full time now. I could happily take myself off for solo bike rides on deserted country roads, keeping fit and healthy that way instead. But if I have an accident and need medical help, does that then mean I shouldn't have bothered as I'd be burdening the NHS with added requirements at such a difficult time, as well as potentially exposing me and them to youknowwhat?

If I stay indoors and do the same exercise on my turbo trainer (so I can't fall off!), is that better? Although being indoors 24/7 is really bad for my mental health?

Or should I just slob out on the sofa and do nothing?

Which course of action is my "fault" and I should be penalised for the most?

Does the tax from smoking really equal double the amount that the NHS spends on smokers?

More to the point, does the tax lost from people quitting (certainly since the smoking ban) cover the extra pensions you're going to have to pay to people who no longer pop their clogs just before retiring ?

Plus the fact that 80% most peoples cost to the health service is in the last few years of their life.

Plus the fact the longer people live, the more likely they are to need social and expensive care ....

The problem is we'd have never agreed to the smoking ban if it had been linked to the extra tax we'd all have to pay ...

@Ponoka7 This
I think we all judge, but as long as people keep their judgements to themselves, I don't really care much, it's the "I'm superior to you because I do/don't do such and such" attitude that gets to me.

I'm superior to you because I do/don't do such and such

I've seen posts on my social media where someone I class a friend, called anyone who didn't vote the way they did, as being responsible for "murder" and "genocide".

What on earth is the point of shit like that?