To ask how you cope with not getting onto a sibling

[Takemebackto]

Is it best to go no contact? Or are you able to tolerate them?

Do you mean 'not getting on with'?

Yep, no contact. Life’s too short. My sister’s hatred and resentment is irrational and as such it’s not something that can be talked out.

I suppose circumstances need to be taken into account. If you live at home and you are teenagers then it's tough. If you are grown adults with no reason to stay in touch then don't.

My Brother is an entitled lazy arse.

I haven’t seen him for a decade and he has no idea where I live.

Life’s too short to spend it with horrid people just because your related (said Jerry Springer) or words to that effect anyway 😂 he was right though

I speak to my sister once a year at Christmas - it works for us.

Yes I mean not getting on with.

I have five brothers and I have no idea where any of them live, I am aware where my mother lives but we do not have any form of a relationship. It is what it is and I don't feel as though I am missing anything in life.

I have low contact. I don't think he has realised that though!

If I happen to be in the same place as my brother (we both live far from our parents, so it's very rare) I am polite, but am otherwise not in contact unless one of our parents is hospitalised. No drama, but it works out we have text contact once a year, see each other once every 5 ish.

Hi not all families get on. Nice for cousins to see each other. One sibling is hard work meet up at family things. My husband family close so I see what mine lacks. As long as you are happy

I went no contact with mine ten years ago. It's working perfectly!

If you don't get on then you just don't have much to do with them and just send Christmas and birthday cards and see them occasionally at extended family events.

People on here are far too dramatic about GOING NO CONTACT. You don’t have to sign an oath in blood and make a public declaration after church. You just happen not to have caught up with people for a bit and then keep not getting around to it until you’ve forgotten how annoying they are. It’s how most people used to quietly deal with irritating siblings until Mumsnet made it into a Thing.

I’m likely to bump into them again hire regularly.

Then I’d keep it civil, pleasantries only.

@Doobigetta not once person on this thread has advocated being ‘dramatic’

Be pleasant, vague and move on quickly.

Yes, annamie, it’s possible to refer on one thread to things you have read on many, many others. Clever, innit?

One of mine is a pain, very dramatic, life much harder than everyone else's, children more precious, can't hold down a job, her choices are so much better than everyone else's - you probably know someone like this!

I've tried to pull her up on her selfish, rude behaviour but it never works and I've realized now that it never will. So I'm pleasant, message her occasionally, send her children gifts etc but make no effort to see her as she is so condescending and awful to spend time with. She never bothers with my children either which really hurts me.

She's engaged - no doubt it will be the wedding of a lifetime when she does plan it. I really don't want to go! FX I'll be able to come up with a reason not to at the time!

I have zero contact with two of my siblings. The other one I'll share a passing "How are you? How are the children?" type conversation on the rare occasion we bump into each other.

We used to be very close as a four, I'm the youngest and my eldest brother is slowly, but surely morphing into my father (my parents were both abusive and neglectful, we were taken my our grandparents when I was 7) and it didn't go down well when I didn't fall into line.

@Doobigetta
Exactly, we have seen less of people for generations without all this melodramatic NC crap. Leave the door open, see people or dont see peopl your choice. If you do the big NC stuff have you flounced off forever?

My only sibling is a narcissist and my childhood would have been happier without him. After years of periodic contact only when he wanted/needed something - during which he had to be pandered to - his behaviour after my lovely DF died was so appalling that it made it easy for me for cut all contact. I refuse to have someone so toxic around my DC.

The scales fell from DM's eyes, after years of making excuses for him. There hasn't been any dramatic scenes - I simply won't contact him, at all, ever again. It's a relief to be honest.

I remind myself of unkind acts a spiteful things she’s said and regularly ask if she is good for my mental health.

Like sonjadogesiaid - I find it best to treat them as ‘ people I know’. Common acquaintances. Treat them politely, express a vague interest and then move along.

I'm. LC with mine though, as a pp said, I doubt she's noticed!

She's a histrionic narcissist who is incredibly jealous of me for no reason at all. She hates not being the centre of attention. My DM is scared of her, and would far rather upset me than the poor princess, so I'm not close to her really now either, sadly.