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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel this is too pushy

38 replies

Dairydoo · 21/03/2020 14:53

A mum I know from the school runs seems to be trying to make her reception aged child super advanced. She's a very bright child and at 4 she was writing sentances neatly (like a ten year old) cutting out beautifully, reading beautifully. Colouring in immaculately. She just is really bright.

Her mum walked home with me yesterday telling me she's bought a package for this child now she's off school with work right through to year 6. She has done a full plan and said she's doing half an hour a day of maths, English , reading and religious studies.

Obviously the child won't do what she doesn't want too. But we are not being told to push our children like this. In the long term is this a good thing? Will she be bored by year 2. When my daughter made her daughter a picture she laughed at it because she had coloured out the lines abit.

I asked her how she was going to do all this learning with a one and three year old also in the house. She said they also will have lessons and she told me the plan for them too. It all sounded great but wow.

Should children be pushed at 4/5 to be doing work way ahead of their peers? I have never come across this before. She's very enthusiastic about having her home and she can't wait to educate her. I just can't imagine this child will ever be stimulated enough in her own year. Do they put children forward a few years when they are this clever?

OP posts:
GrumpyHoonMain · 21/03/2020 16:59

This is what involved parenting looks like and yes involved parents do, long term, produce more successful children. There is nothing to stop you from doing something similar.

halcyondays · 21/03/2020 17:03

Schools will be back long before this child is in Y6. Unless she knows something we don’t?

crispysausagerolls · 21/03/2020 17:04

@WhatTiggersDoBest

Agree

GinDrinker00 · 21/03/2020 17:06

My 4 year old will be doing two hours a day of home schooling. English and maths along with gardening and science with his older brother. He is extremely bright though and more advanced than the other nursery children. Don’t see what your issue is really?

ItsAllTheDramaMickIJustLoveIt · 21/03/2020 17:07

If her child thrives on routine and enjoys what her mother has got lined up for her that’s great, even if it’s only to stop them getting bored. I don’t think it necessarily means she’s pushy.

Bluntness100 · 21/03/2020 17:10

I see no issue with this if the child is happy and the parent happy to do it. I don’t understand why anyone would take issue with it, unless it makes you feel bad because you don’t put the same effort in with yours.

I’m also genuinely astounded someone called her a cheeky fucker and can only assume rhe poster doesn’t know what cf means, because it’s totally illogical to call someone a cheeky fucker because they dare to educate their own child at home.

The kids off school. Good on the mum taking the time to educate her. If the child’s happy, then more power to her.

And yes, if the child is advanced they may well move her forward a year if they feel emptionally and academically it’s the right thing to do.

Straycatstrut · 21/03/2020 17:28

FFS my 7yo is advanced. I've done my best to set up a timetable and will use his work pack (6 weeks worth, complete with marking scheme, teachers are amazing). Youtube and BBC resources. We'll be doing a lot more outside (remote fields/woods) stuff if continue to be allowed, because we don't get to do enough of that. I have a 3yo too so I can't do "school days" at both levels so it's a mix of play, games and quiet work alone for eldest.

What I won't be doing is bragging to anyone about it. Just get on with it. It's hardwork having an advanced kid. There's no way I can teach maths at his level and that's his favourite subject- that and coding which I have no clue about!

Ohtherewearethen · 21/03/2020 18:00

I actually don't agree about having way more structure in school. Yes, timings are set and therefore not flexible but otherwise Reception children have a huge number of resources and carefully set up 'choosing' activities to develop all areas of learning. So one child might be learning how to write number 15 while the others are making collections of 15 outside, building towers of 15 with Lego, counting 15 actions, weaving 15, baking 15 cookies with playdough, etc. Not just working through a YR-Y6 workbook. The mum hasn't mentioned any activities to support physical learning, communication and language, knowledge of the world, IT, etc. Just structured English, maths and RE workbooks. Sounds very structured and restrictive for a 4 year old.

han2020 · 21/03/2020 18:17

If my kid were that bright, I’d probably be finding ways to encourage them too. Particularly at the moment with the current social distancing measures and the kids off school. As a kid I loved learning and my mum always supported that - never once felt ‘pushed’ into doing anything and I would have been bored if not challenged like that. All kids are different and thing is she probably knows her child better than you do sorry.

Ohtherewearethen · 21/03/2020 18:33

I completely agree that children need to be encouraged and challenged. Of course they do. But there is still an age appropriate way of doing that. There's a reason why schools deliver a broad and balanced curriculum and whilst of course there is a huge focus on maths and English there are many other areas that need to be explored too. You can't just focus on the areas your child is good at and ignore everything else!

Stompythedinosaur · 21/03/2020 19:12

It sounds pretty normal to me too. I'm working from home, but will plan to do the 2.5 hours of work the school has set for each day with them (spread out over the day).

LunaLula83 · 21/03/2020 19:37

Not your problem, don't worry about it

Neverenoughcoffee · 21/03/2020 20:03

I don't think half an hour of this or that is a lot. I don't think being bored at school is a concern.
My worries would be how the parent is worth them. Does the child feel their worth is tied to their academic ability?
Is the child being made to feel different and spacial?
Does the parent feel the child's successes and failures are a reflection of them and their parenting?
It's the child being encouraged socially?

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