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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To complain about this carer

7 replies

Whereisthechicken · 20/03/2020 19:17

A few days ago, my nan got talking to a carer that visits to check up on my grandad. During the conversation she mentioned that her son and husband were both at home in isolation because they were ill with a cough and had been for more than a week. This carer had visited just a few days previously to this visit so they would have been isolating too then. Well guess who now has a cough and difficulty breathing? My extemely vulnerable 85 year old grandad who suffers with Diabetes, Angina, Dementia and Arthritis. A different carer came today (because the previous one is now off sick), noticed his symptoms and promptly called an ambulance. They spoke to a doctor at the hospital (my grandad is in and out quite a lot) who told them to leave him at home. The reason being that if he hasn't got coronavirus then he'll probably catch it in hospital so he's safer at home. They won't test him though and have said to only ring again if his breathing gets worse by which time I think it will be too late to help.

Aibu to blame the carer and make a complaint? I know she has a job to do and she needs to pay her bills but surely she should know better than to go and see vulnerable people while her household is isolating themselves with covid-19 symptoms. Because they won't test, we obviously don't know for sure if he's caught it but if he has then he can't have picked it up anywhere else as he never leaves the house. He's either sleeping, in pain or sat in his chair where he's very comfortable and my nan is with him the whole time although she's likes gardening so is in her garden once a day. Family visit twice a week but never when they or anyone in their house is ill. I'm now convinced we're going to lose him because his carer flouted the self isolation rules and I'm so angry and sad thinking about the other vulnerable people she's visited.

OP posts:
Royallyscrewed · 20/03/2020 19:46

Not AIBU at all! I’d be livid if that was my grandfather.

If you’d said the carers relations had been completely asymptomatic and she’s passed it on accidentally then that can’t be helped but knowingly flouting the guidance and bringing illness into a vulnerable household is selfish and outright dangerous.

You can’t 100% guarantee she’s the spreader but I’d definitely complain to her employer about failure in her duty of care to her service users.

Royallyscrewed · 20/03/2020 19:47

I really hope your grandad recovers quickly and with no ill effects on the rest of your family from this OP x

EveHen · 20/03/2020 21:50

You poor thing, I hope your Grandad gets better! I initially thought you should complain, but then thought that advice a week or more ago was different, so the carer might have been correctly following advice but events have overtaken them? 10 days ago the advice was the person with a new cough had to isolate but not others in the household. It only changed to 2 weeks isolation for the whole household on Monday

dontaskformedicaladviceonmn · 20/03/2020 21:59

10 days ago the advice was the person with a new cough had to isolate but not others in the household. It only changed to 2 weeks isolation for the whole household on Monday

Good point, it was only just changed, although the person with a cough isolates for 7 days and anyone living with them with no symptoms has to isolate for 14 days because of the incubation period to see if they develop it.

I hope he will be ok op.

Notgiungoutmuch · 20/03/2020 22:05

I really feel for you.

My 90 year old Nan has carers and luckily I live with her while (I was) studying. On Saturday a carer turned up with a bad cough/sweaty and said that she was okay to come to work as her cough has only just started and was more like the common cold.

I told her to leave and told the agency they’re no longer needed. I also have a few of the other carers on social media and they been posting being in the pub/restaurants/birthday parties - it’s disgusting but I think it’s because some aren’t educated enough. Even the owner mentioned on Sunday afternoon ‘China has it but the second highest is Iraq so it’s still far away’. I’ve been following corona for the last few weeks as I care for one elderly person. Imagine having a hundred on your books and not really giving a toss.

I’d love the idea of people being charged for manslaughter or attempted murder but there’s no way to prove it came from that one source.

EffieIsATrinket · 20/03/2020 22:06

The guidance changed last weekend from 7 days isolation to 14 days. There has been confusion about whether this was to be applied to cough/fever which had already started or whether it was just new cases. I'm still not sure this has been adequately answered. The guidelines are not clear or are not being widely shared.

Care workers are not being tested. This is the government's choice. They are testing politicians but not health and social care workers. I'm sure lots and lots of nurses and doctors and carers are spreading it as we speak. The public has accepted this situation. Meanwhile Virgin is baled out.

But go ahead and complain about the carer.

Polkadotshot · 20/03/2020 22:22

So sorry about your grandad. It must be very scary for you all.

It does depend on the day they came though, it was monday night this week that Boris said whole house to isolate for 14 days. Prior to that it was just the symptomatic person to isolate for 7 days. If the carer came after Monday night then yes you should complain but if it was before, then this person was just following the current advice and shouldn't be blamed for following the advice at that time.

I would however be beyond angry if it was after Monday evening as then they would have ignored or not kept up to date with current advice which is irresponsible and selfish especially given the job role and the people they are in contact with.

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