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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to block my boss on email?

69 replies

GarlicMonkey · 20/03/2020 13:52

Scared of outing so new account.

We (my 4 kids & I, single mum) are all at home self isolating because one of my children has a temperature. I am running errands for 4 elderly relatives (picking up bags from 1 doorstep & dropping at another miles away), I'm worried sick over money & a friend is going through crisis & taking up a lot of phone & messenger time. I'm utterly exhausted & on top of it all, my boss won't leave me alone. To cut a very long list of things short, she's sending very long emails picking faults & taking offence at things that, in some instances, happened weeks ago. She's also saying things that make me worry about my security but then doesn't respond to my questions for hours, like she's purposely leaving me in suspence to worry. It's as if she can't bare for my focus to be on anything but work (I'm not working from home, I don't have the necessary equipment, even though I have offered).

She's always been a bit of a control freak who demands capitulation but it's getting beyond a joke now. Is it reasonable to block her? It'd be pointless my reporting her to seniors as they think the sun shines out of her rear & she can do no wrong. Excuse the dramatics but it feels like torture, like I'm a mouse being played with by a cat. I don't understand what sick agenda this is. Why are people like this? Things are difficult enough at the moment without her behaving this way. I just want to cry but I sense that this is what she wants so I'm refusing to show weakness.

Considering blocking her email address. It's my personal email account she's sending to, not a work one.

OP posts:
Original poster
GarlicMonkey · 20/03/2020 14:37

They're all taking it in turns to go to the shops then muggins here is doings drop offs. They'll have to sort something else out between themselves then. That's actually a massive relief not having to do that. They'll sulk but so be it.

OP posts:
KittyJune · 20/03/2020 14:40

You are being VERY VERY UNREASONABLE and incredibly irresponsible for running errands when a child has a temperature!!!! You are NOT self-isolating if you are running errands! You are merely missing work! This is shocking!

NuclearWinter · 20/03/2020 14:41

It's my personal email account she's sending to, not a work one.

Block. Block. Block.

Better still, change your personal email address and keep the new one for personal contacts only.

Fr0g · 20/03/2020 14:43

If you're self isolating (questionable as you seem to be out and about) because you're child is ill, and you are not, are you being paid?

If you're being paid, and not ill, it doesn't seem unreasonable to expect you to work from home for some of the time.

BodiesMakeForGoodFertiliser · 20/03/2020 14:45

Also. In other country with proper lockdown, they actually told people with small gardens to stay indoorsShock

Original poster
GarlicMonkey · 20/03/2020 14:46

No, I'm not being paid.

OP posts:
JudyCoolibar · 20/03/2020 14:48

If your relatives can get to the shops, they can definitely drop the shopping off with each other.

If you can access your work email, ask your boss to communicate only via that address. If she still uses your personal address, ignore whatever the email says and repeat the same request.

No matter how wonderful your employers may think this person is, you need to log in a completely factual, non-emotive manner what is going on, if only so that it is on the record. I suspect HR will get worried and have a word with her anyway.

CuppaZa · 20/03/2020 14:48

OP, there is enough information out there for even the low intelligent to understand you have a household member showing symptoms, so you need to isolate. Isolate means ISOLATE. Stop putting other people at risk FFS

JudyCoolibar · 20/03/2020 14:50

Just seen the message about payment. Respond to her, copying it in to HR, to say that they need to clarify your status - as you have said, you are happy to work from home, but as they aren't paying you you understood that they don't want that and therefore you query why you are expected to deal with work issues.

NoMoreDickheads · 20/03/2020 14:54

I don't see that you can block your boss, unfortunately.

Astrabees · 20/03/2020 14:56

I have made it very clear to the staff that I manage that those who are self isolating must work from home if their job can be done there and that a very dim view will be taken if they leave their houses at all, except for medical appointments. You should not be running errands for anyone and it is your own fault your job is at risk.

caz114 · 20/03/2020 14:58

Put all the emails in a folder and forget about them.

Send a formal email to her explaining that your children are sick and that you are happy to work from home, but that you would appreciate if she used your work email and not your personal email for work matters.
Be firm, polite and formal. Keep a copy for use later.

Do not assume that your seniors think that the sun shines out of her. It is not always the case, which I discovered after being in a similar situation and making a formal complaint.

If you have a HR department send them a copy of the email you have sent to your manager.
Good luck but I doubt she will stop, which is why you need to document everything she does and says, remain calm and professional. YOU ARE THE BETTER PERSON HERE.

MagicMojito · 20/03/2020 15:00

Woah, people are being really really hard on OP here. Frankly I'm of the opinion that we should be having as close to a full scale lockdown with only food home deliveries by tested covid 19 free people.

But the advice is so bloody wishy washy and typically british that it's really open to interpretation. As long as as this stays as "advice" it's open for people to justify certain aspects of what they feel they need to do.

This is A HUGE HUGE change to our "normal". Until we have actual firm instructions and strong leadership this will keep happening. Its terrifying.

TheCanterburyWhales · 20/03/2020 15:09

It really depends on the norm for electronic communication within your workplace. If you are being contacted because you need to answer some questions that your boss needs answering then of course YABU not to answer them.
It depends on the content of the emails.

You say you have offered to WFH but can't because you don't have the equipment. So, she's obviously not emailing you about s current issue...you say it's stuff from before...a mistake? Asking you where something is?

I can't imagine ever not answering my boss on private email or work one tbh, but it really depends on how things are done where you work.

JingsMahBucket · 20/03/2020 15:13

@GarlicMonkey does your company have an HR department you can engage regarding her emailing you while you’re not being paid?

PeterPanGoesWrong · 20/03/2020 15:14

Why are you running around for 4 elderly relatives? Who will look after your 4 children if you are hospitalised?
If you’re going to self isolate, do it properly!

IntermittentParps · 20/03/2020 15:15

Send a formal email to her explaining that your children are sick and that you are happy to work from home, but that you would appreciate if she used your work email and not your personal email for work matters.
Be firm, polite and formal. Keep a copy for use later.
Do not assume that your seniors think that the sun shines out of her. It is not always the case, which I discovered after being in a similar situation and making a formal complaint.

If you have a HR department send them a copy of the email you have sent to your manager.

Agree with all this.

Marieo · 20/03/2020 15:17

You need to ask someone on social media or anything to do errands. I know it's hard (I am alone with DS and if either of us have symptoms will have to rely on others); but it's dangerous and this is why we will be where Italy is soon (if not worse).

Bottomplasters · 20/03/2020 15:19

Are you sure you are not being paid? Are you sure your child has a temperature? 🙈 I honestly don't believe people would be that stupid to run errands if a child has a temperture

Joyfulnhs · 20/03/2020 15:20

Let hope your kid doesn't actually have coronavirus and you aren't spreading it to all those people you are running erands too and they all end up in hospital or worse dead just because you couldn't read basic guidance and follow it 🙄

Intelinside57 · 20/03/2020 15:24

Can anyone actually be arsed to read Op's post above where she's already said she'll stop the errands?

Lynda07 · 20/03/2020 15:26

Send a formal email to her explaining that your children are sick and that you are happy to work from home, but that you would appreciate if she used your work email and not your personal email for work matters.
Be firm, polite and formal. Keep a copy for use later.

I agree with the above.

This is a stressful time for all including your boss but she shouldn't be making you feel so worried.

As for those saying you might be spreading virus doing errands, why would you? You can deliver things without touching or breathing on the person and they can wash hands/sanitise after unpacking them.

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 20/03/2020 15:32

You have 4 dc’s one of whom is sick - they should be your priority. You will be better staying indoors and away from touching things your elderly relatives will touch. Explain to them why you can’t do it any more, until you are out of self-isolation.

Re your boss - why on earth is she emailing you about work if you aren’t even being paid? Just ignore her and when you eventually go back to work (touch wood you still have a job) explain you and your dc’s were very ill and you couldn’t look at your messages for a while.

Chloemol · 20/03/2020 16:04

You are either self isolating, so no going out at all, or you are not. And you are not so maybe the boss has a point, she might have seen you?

You are putting others in danger, no one is sure how long the virus can live in surfaces, and if you have it and are touching lots of different things you are spreading it

Can friends help with what you do for your relatives? Lots of community groups are setting up who maybe able to help

We ALL need to follow correct guidelines and not assume it doesn’t apply to me as I have relatives who need help b

Nekoness · 20/03/2020 16:08

“virus can stay on surfaces for up to 9 days!”

NO NO IT CANNOT. Please stop spreading hoaxes.

3 hours airline
4 hours on copper
24 hours in cardboard
Up to 2/3 days on stainless steel and other hard plastic surfaces.

There’s a study out. Google it.

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