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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Please help - dog related

29 replies

doglover7 · 19/03/2020 23:26

Hoping people will respond, I feel very stuck and sick with nerves.

I love dogs, we rescued my best friend 18 months ago and love it. But we are in a tiny 2 bed flat with no garden. So we have been trying to move all this time and have finally exchanged, we complete next week.

A dog became available after its adopters cancelled on it. A 7 year old who spent a long time on the streets. We made it clear we wanted her but couldn't take her until end of March which was agreed. Fosterer seemed unhappy but went along with it.

I've now been told to take her Saturday or that's it and I've also received some horrible messages claiming that I don't care for the dog as I didn't ask for constant updates (was scared to bother her) and that I've used her as free dog care.
She is a volunteer, likewise for the same company I volunteer every week now for 18 months.

The reason I can't get her Saturday as DP is the driver and has coronavirus.. I said it's a risk and it'll coincide with him being better (albeit contagious) to drive us to pick up the dog and we will have our house with the garden.

I don't know what to do. I feel so alone!

OP posts:
doglover7 · 19/03/2020 23:28

Sorry makes no sense in places.
I asked for her to keep the dog a few more days for when DP is better and we are in the new house!

OP posts:
LittleRootie · 19/03/2020 23:31

Obviously in the current situation your reason for not being able to collect new dog is valid. Does she want payment for keeping the dog a bit longer?

Passionatelycurious · 19/03/2020 23:33

Is it the foster we who's sending these messages or the rescue saying you have to get her Saturday?

Purplecatshopaholic · 19/03/2020 23:34

You sound like you are being reasonable. And she sounds not very nice, but in these strange times she may have other things on her plate too I guess.

Passionatelycurious · 19/03/2020 23:35

Could you offer to buy some dog food? But you are reasonable in not collecting the dog on Saturday. You were clear about how long it would be and now the virus.

CSIblonde · 19/03/2020 23:41

Tricky OP. She prob feels history is repeating itself & you're going to back out like previous people. For Saturday, she could put any fave food, toy, blankie etc on her doorstep upfront , then when she sees you roll up, have the dog leashed ready & open the door a crack so you can get the dog by the collar as she lets leash go (with you gloved & masked). It'd be such a shame if poor pooch gets a 2nd let down.

doglover7 · 20/03/2020 07:23

Thanks for responses.

The issue with Saturday is despite the spread of virus that DP who has a 38.5 temp and is coughing his lungs out is the only one who can drive at the moment. (I can't drive due to a new medication so would be illegal)

She also lives in a third floor flat in London so a drop off is hard. There would need to be contact. They already have a dog and this was their trial for a second dog.

In total they would have fostered for 6 weeks. They know I won't drop out as I'm already the person paying her insurance (expensive as she's old) and have been in contact.

I do feel like more responsibility should be with the company. The messages are coming direct from the fosterer but the middle man should be the charity.

There was never any secrecy. I said end of March and if she isn't able to then I understand the dog will go to someone else. They decided I was the best person as I've adopted through them before. She has now said Saturday as she wants to go on holiday. I have no idea what happens to the other dog they have during this.

OP posts:
Butterymuffin · 20/03/2020 07:26

She wants to go on holiday?? Who's doing that right now?
Can you contact the charity and explain you're being put under pressure and can anyone else take the dog for now?

Elouera · 20/03/2020 07:30

Don't you have a friend/neighbour/relative that could collect the dog?

ShennaIsAPrawnCracker · 20/03/2020 07:57

Can you not contact the charity yourself? Is it a dog from abroad? Only asking as I adopted through one and they all seemed a bit odd!

millerjane · 20/03/2020 08:15

OP - I'm also a massive dog lover. I'm in Berkshire and would be happy to offer my services as a doggy taxi driver (if that helps).

doglover7 · 20/03/2020 08:15

I have spoken to the charity and they have just said "maybe it's not the best time for you, I have to do what is right for the dog"
All I've asked for is a few days until DP can drive...they surely can't find someone new unless they already have and this is a rouse?

Yes the dog is from abroad but so is my other dog through them which worked out fine and more organised. I also volunteer for them so have some understanding of what goes on.

The only people close by are my parents who are both terminally ill and high risk.
No one else lives this side of England and it's a 4 hour round trip for us.

OP posts:
millerjane · 20/03/2020 08:17

Whereabouts are you, OP?

doglover7 · 20/03/2020 08:17

@millerjane I'm essex so it would be so far for you and I would feel so guilty. Thank you for being so kind though.

OP posts:
millerjane · 20/03/2020 08:20

doglover7 - I'd still be willing to do it. Let me get back to you (need to talk to some family members).

millerjane · 20/03/2020 08:21

ps don't feel guilty I absolutely love dogs

millerjane · 20/03/2020 08:27

Just checked and the offer still stands :)

Fluffybutter · 20/03/2020 09:16

This doesn’t add up. She can’t go on holiday , you can’t go anywhere .
There’s nothing you can do and if she won’t let you take the dog then she’s stuck anyway as won’t find anyone at short notice .

doglover7 · 20/03/2020 09:35

@fluffybutter exactly my point!! I don't know if there's something else going on I'm being kept from.

@millerjane you are so kind. I am going to message the charity today as our hesitancy is also that if I become infected we will not be best placed to introduce a new, untrained dog into the house. And secondly, DP's recovery should hopefully be when we move house next week and I do think our current living situation could cause extreme stress for our current dog who is priority.

I'll let you know what happens when I get a response - hopefully more truth

I have spoken to several friends at the moment who are horrified at me leaving the house and spreading it. They also think, knowing where we currently live, two dogs is massively unfair on my current dog and that the new dog will struggle to settle when we are packing up everything and trying to get by.

Thanks for being so kind it is lovely

OP posts:
doglover7 · 20/03/2020 09:37

Forgot to say she's going within the UK by plane, to where she's originally from so think she's allowed?

Doesn't explain what is happening with their own dog and I'm pretty sure her DP is staying so I'm not sure why he can't help but he does say the dog "isn't a real dog" because it's small (Daxie) and he wants a man's dog (Alsatian)

OP posts:
JKScot4 · 20/03/2020 09:40

On FB there is an animal transport volunteer group, also the rescue In sure has a volunteer who can transport.
I’ve yet to come across a rescue of foreign dogs run competently.

doglover7 · 20/03/2020 09:48

@jkscot I would agree with you there.

This is all being done over WhatsApp. I think I will have to distance myself after this as I cannot cope with the stress. Sick DP, I'm probably going to get it now, can't see my high risk parents (who are my best friends), trying to organise a house move and not break the contracts and also give this dog a safe home.

OP posts:
Butterymuffin · 20/03/2020 10:00

I would be hardening my tone with the charity to say hang on, you know me, I've said I'll have the dog but I have a temporary issue and now you seem to be threatening to give the dog away - what's going on?

millerjane · 20/03/2020 10:02

doglover7 - completely understand. Wish I was in a position to keep your dog for a few days (we have the space) but my own dog is quite particular/set in his ways.

millerjane · 20/03/2020 10:03

You've got a lot on your plate, wishing your DP a speedy recovery Flowers

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