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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not work my notice.

11 replies

FeelingCrap54 · 19/03/2020 14:15

Okay...first thing to say is that my plan IS to work as much as possible but got lots of people saying don’t bother.

Situation is that I took a job in January in a school.

I’ve never worked in a school before but they offered me a fixed term role for a year.

Since starting I’ve had no mentoring, I’ve basically been dropped in the deep end and left to get on with it. Now this is okay to a point as I love the kids, like the staff and the school.

However it didn’t escape my notice that I wasn’t doing what the teacher wanted particularly. It seems whatever I do is wrong or not good enough for her. I follow all her plans but being inexperienced don’t do things as well as she would.

For example one child wet himself and started to strip off in the classroom, I went over to him and the teacher told me to “change him in the cloakroom” which I was about to do. I was then pulled in the next day about this as it seemed the teacher assumed I was going to undress the child in the classroom. I wasn’t and would NEVER EVER do this. Tbh I was quite upset that anyone would think I might do such a thing.

There have been a couple of other small incidents too mainly about me mothering the children too much. Picking up their bags and making sure they have packed stuff for home etc.

It’s all come to a head today and after a discussion with the HT I’ve said I will give in my notice. I feel so useless and unhappy about this. I know I’ve struggled and I have had one meeting before with one of the SLT about their ethos and that fact I am too mumsy. The HT said that none of the issues is criticism of me as a person as he can see I am caring.

Tbh this criticism started when I had not even been two weeks in post. They moved me from one class to another and it hasn’t got any better as the children were younger and more needy. I AM fairly maternal and nurturing and I know this....I’ve really really tried not to be but it’s still not enough,

All in all my confidence is absolutely zero right this moment and I’ve come home. We are a special school so they are remaining open. I want to go back and work my notice and help with the childcare needed in school.

Other people around me are saying “screw them” and “they never provided any support to help you”.

More than anything though I fear facing people who have obviously been saying how crap I am and knowing they are watching me work my notice.

If it matters my son is autistic and his college has now shut so I may have issues with childcare anyway.

What do I do?

Very tempted to go in when hubby is home just to help as I know they have a lot of staff out.

OP posts:
OrganzaLopez · 19/03/2020 14:58

Work your notice, end it properly you wipl need a reference. If you have annual leave ask to use it or ask not to be paid but dont just storm off

RatherBeRiding · 19/03/2020 15:03

I agree - work your notice and be the bigger person, especially as you may need a reference. You've done nothing wrong, so sod feeling bad about facing the people who've bitched about you - if you weren't doing something right, then you should have been given clear aims and objectives, instead of woolly stuff about being "too maternal" whatever that is supposed to mean!

Hold your head high and face down your critics and retain the moral high ground!

FeelingCrap54 · 19/03/2020 15:10

Thank you. Yes I do plan to do as much as possible. There may be days I cannot Dias my son is out of college. Where my husband is available however I will go in.

OP posts:
annamie · 19/03/2020 15:23

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t work your notice? There doesn’t appear to be bullying?

Are you thinking to get paid for the period you may not work your notice for?

xxxemzyxxx · 19/03/2020 15:34

Bless you, sorry you feel this way!

This sounds eerily familiar to a job my SIL had as a TA in a special school. Barely told her what to do, nothing was ever right, the HT sounded a bit OCD about weird things. My SIL is an experienced teacher as well, but she felt useless so handed her notice in.

Still work your notice, you will want the reference. Hope it goes quickly for you!

Twiggy71 · 19/03/2020 15:35

I'd go in when i've worked with teachers who wouldn't give me any direction and didn't appreciate me i just thought sod them i am here for the kids.
I'm too maternal too but it worked out well for me when i went from mainstream to a special school where this was definately needed.
Go enjoy the kids and leave on a good note..BrewCake

FeelingCrap54 · 19/03/2020 15:48

No no bullying and I adore the children.

I will be working and braving it out.

I just feel like crap.

OP posts:
time4aname · 19/03/2020 18:10

This happens a lot in teaching, expected to give the upmost care and respect to students but staff are often treated by staff by other members of staff. I’m sorry you’ve been out through this.

FeelingCrap54 · 19/03/2020 18:36

Thanks all for your input.

I will be the bigger person here.

Our school is remaining open at the moment although the student numbers may be depleted.

I'll be there supporting with care of the children as always.

I won't lie, my self confidence is in pieces at the moment.

I'll be having a conversation with the HT about some of the issues as he took me on knowing I was totally inexperienced but I've really had no support in gaining the skills needed.

I will also ask them to list all the things I have done well as I know I have done some things that are good. I've sorted out the fine motor skills activities and even bought one or two cheap items for the activity.

I'm told I have a lovely way with the children.

I've joined in willingly and enthusiastically with all activities including swimming with the children.

I need to hear from them now what THEY think I've done well.

OP posts:
time4aname · 19/03/2020 18:48

Sorry I meant to say staff are often treated poorly by other members of staff*

FeelingCrap54 · 20/03/2020 07:56

Thanks for the support yesterday. I am up, washed, dressed and ready to go in Grin.

Positive attitude and all that.

OP posts:
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