Okay...first thing to say is that my plan IS to work as much as possible but got lots of people saying don’t bother.
Situation is that I took a job in January in a school.
I’ve never worked in a school before but they offered me a fixed term role for a year.
Since starting I’ve had no mentoring, I’ve basically been dropped in the deep end and left to get on with it. Now this is okay to a point as I love the kids, like the staff and the school.
However it didn’t escape my notice that I wasn’t doing what the teacher wanted particularly. It seems whatever I do is wrong or not good enough for her. I follow all her plans but being inexperienced don’t do things as well as she would.
For example one child wet himself and started to strip off in the classroom, I went over to him and the teacher told me to “change him in the cloakroom” which I was about to do. I was then pulled in the next day about this as it seemed the teacher assumed I was going to undress the child in the classroom. I wasn’t and would NEVER EVER do this. Tbh I was quite upset that anyone would think I might do such a thing.
There have been a couple of other small incidents too mainly about me mothering the children too much. Picking up their bags and making sure they have packed stuff for home etc.
It’s all come to a head today and after a discussion with the HT I’ve said I will give in my notice. I feel so useless and unhappy about this. I know I’ve struggled and I have had one meeting before with one of the SLT about their ethos and that fact I am too mumsy. The HT said that none of the issues is criticism of me as a person as he can see I am caring.
Tbh this criticism started when I had not even been two weeks in post. They moved me from one class to another and it hasn’t got any better as the children were younger and more needy. I AM fairly maternal and nurturing and I know this....I’ve really really tried not to be but it’s still not enough,
All in all my confidence is absolutely zero right this moment and I’ve come home. We are a special school so they are remaining open. I want to go back and work my notice and help with the childcare needed in school.
Other people around me are saying “screw them” and “they never provided any support to help you”.
More than anything though I fear facing people who have obviously been saying how crap I am and knowing they are watching me work my notice.
If it matters my son is autistic and his college has now shut so I may have issues with childcare anyway.
What do I do?
Very tempted to go in when hubby is home just to help as I know they have a lot of staff out.