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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that my 10 and 8 year olds could provide limited childcare?

63 replies

RHTawneyonabus · 18/03/2020 22:35

I’m glad the schools are off next week, our nanny is self isolating and DH and I are trying to WFH with a two year old.

I’ve suggested it will be helpful to have the older kids around as a short of short term childcare solution. I’m envisaging they could spend and hour or so playing with the train set or just generally entertaining him while I sit nearby and power through my emails.

DH has reacted as if I’ve proposed sending them down a mine, but it doesn’t seem very unreasonable to me....

OP posts:

GrumpyHoonMain · 18/03/2020 23:02

They are old enough but only you know if they are responsible enough. I wouldn’t trust my 8 yo dn with babies but could trust her with mobile 2-4 yo’s - she would entertain, fix them food, take them to the toilet and clean them up.

Emmelina · 18/03/2020 23:03

Isn’t this just playing with their siblings?
You’re not leaving the house, and I can guarantee you you won’t be shutting them out mentally!

florababy84 · 18/03/2020 23:05

You'll be right there.. in the house.. possibly in the same room.

It's insane to think there would be any problem with this.

For your DH, don't call it childcare, just say that the 2 year old will have more fun and be easier to entertain if the older ones are around to play.

Reversiblesequinsforadults · 18/03/2020 23:05

That's not childcare. That's just children entertaining themselves without you. I wouldn't go out, but I'd certainly leave the room in that situation.

yikesanotherbooboo · 18/03/2020 23:05

Older children minding younger children is completely normal and actually is a posityexpeience fr all parties. Is your DH an only child?

Howmanysleepsnow · 18/03/2020 23:08

It’s fine. My 8 and 5yo play together all the time. I get more done while they’re busy together. Obviously I’d never leave them home alone, and they always know where in the house I am.

greasyspooncafe · 18/03/2020 23:09

Some opinions on here are ridiculous! Your kids are playing not child minding for gods sake.
A 10 year old can read to a 2 year old for an hour quite easily with no drama.
It gives the ten year old a chance to do regular reading, to learn a life skill which is looking after a child - I was babysitting at 13 - and to feel like he or she is owning some of the social responsibility that we all have right now. My 8 year olds are going to be asked to do extra to contribute to our household in equally stretching ways. Encourage it. It will prepare your older child for secondary school for starters and I'd suggest the 10.year old comes up with ideas about how he or she can entertain and play with the younger one. Dont direct. And reward effort and success.

Shouldbedoing · 18/03/2020 23:10

Are the older 2 your toddler's half siblings who live with their Mum? Your post is t clear

Original poster

RHTawneyonabus · 18/03/2020 23:10

Thanks everyone after that early post I was a bit worried! Obviously I’m only going to go as far as the next room and I’m not going to ask them to do it for more than an hour or so but I’m going to insist they do this before they run off and do their own thing so in that sense it’s not really spontaneous play (which obviously does happen as well!). I find they moan about it a bit but after five minutes they usually get into whatever Lego type activity they are doing with him.

OP posts:

Original poster

RHTawneyonabus · 18/03/2020 23:11

Do they are all mine and DHs kids no step families involved

OP posts:

QuestionableMouse · 18/03/2020 23:12

When I was ten, I used to have a gaggle of relations to entertain on a Sunday. Cousins, my sister. It worked out fine.

ICouldHaveDancedAllNight · 18/03/2020 23:13

Hilarious!
They're playing together. I thought at first you were offering them up as babysitters for random kids in the neighbourhood, but no - it's their own siblings.
I think there is a different mindset in the UK about what children are capable of. Where I live, 12 year olds are paid babysitters, 14 year olds can work in McDonalds etc.
My daughter is 16 and has been working in a Primark-type store for 2 years. My friends in the UK were so shocked at that.
Of course your kids will cope and will probably love hanging out without parents interfering! Unless they hate each other usually, which is a totally different story.

Stompythedinosaur · 18/03/2020 23:17

Siblings playing together is fine. I'm less comfortable with the idea that they have to entertain their younger sibling - I think an hour is a bit long really if they aren't keen. Ten mins while you chuck dinner in is one thing, an hour while you work seems different.

I actually don't think it's fair on the big ones (Who are still quite young themselves).

Shouldbedoing · 18/03/2020 23:22

In that case it's no biggie, is it. They're all under one roof. As a family, who help each other, you would expect them to entertain the youngest for an hour. Another hour of cbeebies while you work nearby and that's a good chunk of worktime

TheSheepofWallSt · 18/03/2020 23:22

Today my 3 yo had to entertain himself (I was in the same room) for a big chunk of the day whilst I was crisis managing for work.

corythatwas · 18/03/2020 23:23

I don't see that an hour is longer than other chores you might set them to do if the family need it. Where I come from (Scandinavia, so not some desperately poor society with no choice) it is normal and expected for children to pitch in with DIY and cookery and berry-picking from an early age. It takes a little time out of the day but is seen as part of their training as much as reading and writing. Minding siblings for shorter period would be regarded under the same heading: it's acquiring skills and being part of the family.

RevolutionofourTime · 18/03/2020 23:25

@Mistletorpor I think you need to have a (very strong) word with yourself. You and your husband have three children and need to find a way to parent all of them. Children shouldn’t be looking after other children

What complete and utter bollocks.

mrsBtheparker · 18/03/2020 23:26

If I started calling it babysitting I'm sure they'd suddenly start refusing

Worse still, they'll start demanding union rates for baby-sitters!

Pitaramus · 18/03/2020 23:34

It’s great. At 10 and 8 it’s teaching them life skills as well. Mine are 8, 6 and 2 and the older two often look after their little brother. They help him with all sorts, putting his shoes on, making his milk (supervised), washing him in the bath (also supervised!) and just being an extra pair of eyes to shout if he tries to do something dangerous when I’ve got my back turned. And they also just play with him lots.

It teaches them responsibilities and helps them be caring. It brings out some of their best qualities.

Pitaramus · 18/03/2020 23:35

Oh and I often get the 6 year old to read his little brother a bedtime story! That’s two birds with one stone!

WyfOfBathe · 18/03/2020 23:39

I was horrified at the title, but of course that's okay. It's not really childcare, it's just playing with a sibling.

If I end up doing live video teaching, I expect I'll be doing the same with my 8 and 2 year olds.

Maryann1975 · 18/03/2020 23:50

My 70's village school had top year look after other classes at wet lunchtimes & never any issues (prob not legal now)!
We used to do this in the 80s too. It was a big deal to be trusted with the responsibility of going down to the nursery to supervise the children while the nursery staff had a break!

I’m a childminder. My biggest problem in the holidays is getting the (Older) primary School children to leave the babies alone, all they want to do is play with the babies, feed them, help them to walk, etc, etc. Some days I struggle to get a look in! (All the parents know, they joke about my subcontracting work out). It’s fine, bigger dc generally like looking after little dc and I think in your situation op, it’s just one of those things that will have to happen to get everyone through the day. You aren’t asking for full days worth of childcare, it’s only an hour a day and hopefully your nanny will be back the week after.

Escapetab · 19/03/2020 00:05

Haha I wish someone could tell my mum that the hours I spent looking after and entertaining my nine younger siblings were equivalent to going down the mines. I'd like to see her face :-) They'll be fine OP.

I would have killed to have an older sibling for him to play with. The crippling guilt watching him play trains alone on the carpet for hours was dreadful. But it’s that or I don’t work. If I don’t work we don’t eat, so...
bless him, I feel a bit like this about my 4yo only sometimes, but he has his toys, his mum (I'm guessing?) is right there...he's probably a lot happier than you worry he is, and least he's secure and cosy in his home. Independent play is so good for kids really, even when you feel bad about it because you know it's out of necessity rather than choice.

Crunchymum · 19/03/2020 00:11

Next week I'll have a 7yo, 5yo, 2yo and I'll be working from home!!

I expect both my parenting and professional abilities will be tested to their very limits

username1724 · 19/03/2020 00:14

My 9yo plays with her 2yo brother for hours every day. They adore each other and both enjoy the others company. My thinking is that I clean her room, wash all their clothes, cook dinner/make lunches, clean the house daily, least she can do in the way of chores is play with her brother.. do it!

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