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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be already fretting about how I am going to get my Y11 to do any academic work now, and what he should be doing?!

65 replies

turkeyontheplate · 18/03/2020 18:19

He's in shock, obviously, but I know once that wears off I'm going to have to deal with "What's the point in doing any school work now?"

I'm going to struggle to answer that...but I don't want him vegetating for months on end either, and I'm worried that we haven't been given any real insight into what lies ahead, just that the exams are cancelled Confused

Anyone else with a less-than-squeaky-clean teen who didn't burst into tears when the exams were cancelled and is going to be swinging the lead all over the place once the surprise wears off?

OP posts:
Oakmaiden · 18/03/2020 18:21

My daughter is delighted. Despite the fact she got awful marks for her mocks.

turkeyontheplate · 18/03/2020 18:23

I'm worried about mental health as well tbh, he's pretty robust, but his football is cancelled, his exams are cancelled, school is cancelled, he can't go out and see his "boys" - there's going to be pretty much nothing in his life now. At least if he was little I could entertain him to some extent. And my 17yo is really struggling with the fear and enormity of it all.

This is horrible Sad

OP posts:
MrsSpenserGregson · 18/03/2020 18:27

Yes, I have a 15-year-old teen like yours, @turkeyontheplate , who was practically squealing with joy as Boris was announcing that GCSEs and A-Levels wouldn't be taking place.

What on earth happens now? Do we think they will use predicted grades which were set after the mocks? Will they ask the teachers to provide a new set of predicted grades now? What are the teens going to DO for months on end?!

DH is a secondary school teacher and he's in shock.

ChaosTrulyReigns · 18/03/2020 18:35

I think the teens with nothing to do for 6 months will want to be in the outside world and not practising social media.

Making lock down the only next step.

Sad
turkeyontheplate · 18/03/2020 18:43

I fear that may be true Chaos, not all teens will just cooperate and stay at home. Mine will, but it won't be pleasant for any of us. I'm really worried about how we are going to keep them going with nothing on the horizon.

OP posts:
Jade308 · 18/03/2020 18:46

If they are 16 plus, get them down the supermarkets stacking shelves. I suspect the need going healthy people right now

ghostyslovesheets · 18/03/2020 18:48

my 15 year old (sadly not 16 till July) wants to volunteer to help out - dog walking, shopping etc

turkeyontheplate · 18/03/2020 18:53

I have long-term health conditions, I'm not sure sending my children out to mingle in supermarkets all day is the cleverest plan Shock

OP posts:
AnneJeanne · 18/03/2020 18:56

They will have to grow up fast, unfortunately, but they will. And some will learn the hard way. The sooner you put structure in place the better.

Malvinaa81 · 18/03/2020 19:00

They need to stay indoors and this be enforced by law.

And yes it will be a struggle- as it will for so many people.

practicallyperfectwithprosecco · 18/03/2020 19:03

Tears in this house. Worked so hard to get her last lot of practice exams to just under a 4 so now on track to gets 4s. Jan Mocks and predicted grades then were 3s so she wanted to do exams to show how hard she worked.

No prom

No last day saying bye to friends- her year have been dropping like flies, most teachers off and no years 8,9,10 and 12 in school.

Bit of an anticlimax to 5 years of school

And the anxiety of what happens next

Notso · 18/03/2020 19:08

DS is absolutely gutted. He was close to tears when I told him.

Aveino · 18/03/2020 19:10

He'll be back in school in 4/5 weeks...

Whatsername177 · 18/03/2020 19:12

I'm a teacher and I'm hoping they ask us to make our best professional judgement. They can't go on mock grades. My pupils did their mock in Yr 10.

Oakmaiden · 18/03/2020 19:13

@Aveino whilst that is just about possible, it is not very likely. Scotland have said they expect to be shut through the whole summer term.

Scruffyoak · 18/03/2020 19:15

My son was in tears and me. His mocks were a 2 and we have been working hard to get a 3 or 4 bless him. Plus the uncertainty of it all. What's the point? What does he do now?

Drpeppered · 18/03/2020 19:27

avenio if you really think that you haven’t been paying attention

When lockdown comes (which it will) it will last months.

Helsy64 · 18/03/2020 19:34

Last time I was on here, my now yr 11 was a toddler. I've come back on for support. She's distraught, doesn't know what she is supposed to be working towards, doesn't know when she will be able to say goodbye to her school and her friends, doesn't know whether there will be a prom. I know the detail is probably all being worked out now, which is why the statement was vague, but some clarity really soon would be good. Dd is currently taking it out on her punchbag.

Cheerbear23 · 18/03/2020 19:36

My DS’ hobbies are football, football training, gym and PlayStation. So that’s 3 hobbies out of the window. I honestly can’t imagine keeping him in, I can easily imagine it will be September when they go back.
What an absolute utter nightmare (all aspects of it).

Helsy64 · 18/03/2020 19:36

We're taking the approach that as she wants to do A levels she should keep learning and structure her days like school days. It all seems a bit pointless to her now, but things will become clearer.

BabbleBee · 18/03/2020 19:40

I’ve also got a distraught Yr11. She’s in floods of tears. Her school have done repeated, intensive mocks which I didn’t agree with. Her first set were good but the ‘real’ mocks at Christmas dipped as she was burnt out and knackered from the October set.

She’s now saying she won’t be given the grades she needs for the career she wants.

I hope @Whatsername177 is right and they let teachers use professional judgement which allows for progress made after mocks.

Sh05 · 18/03/2020 20:06

Revealing the shutdown of schools in England, Education Secretary Gavin Williamson told MPs assessments or exams would not go ahead this year and performance tables would not be published.

But he said officials were working with exam boards "to ensure that children get the qualifications that they need".
That's from the BBC newspage.
My son's in yr 11, they've been stressing about it for the last few weeks too

pointythings · 18/03/2020 20:14

I really feel for students in this position. I am fostering a 17yo - her predicted grades for A level are CCC. This is based on her GCSEs - which she took while being a carer for her mum who has major depression. Since living with us, her grades have been much, much better and she should be looking at BBB in the real thing.

The only silver lining is that she has just picked her firm choice and her offer is now CCC - and it is a really good course, the one she wants.

DD2 did GCSEs last year. Her real grades were 2 higher in the real thing than in her last mocks for most things. Her spring Chemistry mock was a 3 - her real exam was a 7. This is going to cause major problems unless some creative solutions are found.

InDispairThisWeek · 18/03/2020 20:15

DD is very, very annoyed and upset she is another one who had ok but not brilliant mocks and has been working amazingly hard since Christmas. She’s also under CAMH’s for extreme anxiety, depression and self harm, For now I still have to go to work so she will be at home on her own and I am extremely worried.

MulticolourMophead · 18/03/2020 20:18

I do worry for DS's mental health, and I've advised him he needs to work each day. If they use predicted grades, I think he'll be okay for the college course he wants.

And we are going to go out to big parks for walks, etc, while maintaining a proper distance from others. We'll need it for fresh air, exercise, etc. Can picnic in the car away from others.