I know there are so many people in much worse position than me, but I just can’t help but being so upset and thinking that’s one of my worst birthdays. Husband asked ages ago if there was anything I want for my birthday, I said no, I have everything I need or can buy things myself, just flowers would be fine. My youngest (4yo) wanted to make a cake for my birthday so I mentioned that to my husband a couple of times asking him to organise it (guess he forgot about it).
So this morning kids went to school without even giving me a card or saying happy birthday. They are 8 and 4 and would have probably done something with a bit of a reminder from my husband, but not this time I guess.
My mum who lives abroad send a text saying happy birthday and asking if that’s ok for my dad to send me a big sum of money (quite big for them, you can buy a nice flat with that amount where they live and it’s an equivalent of at least 2 years of my retired and still working dad’s salary. But for me it’s my 1month salary here). I said I’m not taking any money from them. They’ve always been quite poor financially, but worked very hard and tried to save as much as possible with a view of giving me and my brother as much as possible when we become adults. So they are the sort of people who would save for their kids all their lives by sacrificing their own and kids immediate needs (like family time, emotions, education, food, clothes). They have never spent time with me, would just work 24/7, never talked to me much, never knew what I waned or who I am although we were not that bad financially from what I can tell now, it was just the way they prioritised things. We had no family trips, not even walks to parks although we lived next to a forest. I have never even dared to ask them for something as they would always argue with each other about the lack of money and I would feel so sorry for them. As an example I always wanted to do dance classes as a child and when our teacher organised some dance classes after school I didn’t even dare to ask my parents to pay for these as I felt that was inappropriate given how little money we had (mum can’t even buy shoes for herself based on the arguments she was having with dad, how can I ask to pay for dance classes). So the little girl inside me just cries and screams that’s it’s too late for these money, I needed them as a child, I didn’t need them to invest money into properties, cars, etc, I needed their time, attention, money there and then, but my childhood is lost, I grew up into a very self conscious adult who finds it difficult to express emotions, understand what I want and ask others for it.
AIBU or is it just hormonal (I’m 38+5 weeks pregnant).