How to parent...

[tokywoky]

AIBU to not know how to parent....got a just turned 6 month old and honestly don't know what to do with him? I know to feed him and change him/bath him and we have cuddles but I do not know how to play with him or help him to develop. I feel like my anxiety has stepped up as we are now isolating and my partner has been away working so it's just been me and my DS. I feel like an awful mum and feel like I should just know how to do this and I'm worried that I'm letting him down.

I felt the same when my twins were babies (they’re 2yo now and still wonder if I’m doing it right!).

I also felt isolated as DD was on home oxygen which meant going anywhere was very difficult. Anxiety went through the roof!

The best I can offer is to continue what you’re doing - cuddles, interacting with him face to face, if busy doing chores or what have you narrate what’s you’re doing. At 6mo I popped my twins on their play bats and let them lead with the dangling toys, encouraged them with moving about as best they could and kept things light and happy. Bubbles are quite fun, reading to them was fun (I caved on the baby books as they numbed my brain so I read Terry Pratchett to mine and omitted bits where appropriate 😂).

The ‘am I doing enough’/‘am I getting it right’ question still pops in at regular intervals and I realised it was linked to my anxieties.

It sounds trite but so long as you and your DS are content at the end of each day, that’s a good day IMO.

You’re not an awful Mum OP. If you’re looking for particular activities there’s a lot of material online that’s age appropriate.

Play mats... bloody autocorrect

DS has just turned 7 months. I relied on classes/swimming/excursions to entertain him but it's obviously all changed now. It's a hard age because they're awake for so much longer and it's hard to know what to do with them - especially if you're stuck at home. We tend to cycle between play at, sitting on the sofa reading, rolling around on the bed and sitting in the high chair or bouncy chair. I tend to use the latter for when I'm cooking or doing jobs and just chat to him. He watched me put away our Ocado shop and rearrange our kitchen cupboards quite happily for about half an hour yesterday. Our HV said that the most important thing was to give them plenty of time to roll around and by physically active so there's a lot of that too - with dangly toys or my face to punch.

I had such anxiety about this when mine was that age. He's 3 now and a whirlwind and thankfully very able to entertain himself (and us) with singing and dancing.

I found there was a lot of pressure at that age to be in baby classes, tummy time, etc. I hated baby classes, he hated tummy time.

Use the playmat, let him kick about on the floor, chat to him but don't stress yourself about it. You would have to leave him in a dark room with no interaction regularly for his development to be affected.

You could try watching The Baby Club on BBC iPlayer...each episode is themed and has songs and a story etc. so might give you some nice ideas with different ways to play with your baby, especially at the moment when physically going to baby groups isn't really an option.

Have a look at this on the BBC

www.bbc.co.uk/tiny-happy-people

It has some ideas for each age group.

Sing to him, nursery rhymes, pop songs, whatever, great for language development. Give him things to play with that aren't the usual toys, so a wooden spoon and bowl to bash with it in the kitchen, a small towel in the bathroom. And if he's in a bouncy chair watching you chat away about whatever you're doing.

My Mother was like that she didn't have a clue.

You don't have to "teach" him anything OP. He's going to naturally absorb everything in his environment. At that age it's just...well...boring! I used to count the hours until bedtime.

Reading to him, chatting face to face and narrating what you're doing as you're doing it is the best way he'll acquire language. Once you're doing that you can relax and trust that he'll develop at his own pace.

Thank you all so much. Feel loads better after reading your replies as it is all stuff that I have been doing anyway! We had been going out to classes so going to try and recreate some of that at home as well and dedicate at least an hour each day on what we would have been doing at a class - well apart from swimming!!
Thank you all again, I'll look at that link n look for the baby classes on tv.

Oh OP, I remember it so well.

My first, ate, slept, smiled for a bit for and then went back to sleep.

He was a super easy baby.

Suddenly at 4 months he didn't want to.go back to sleep.....he wanted entertaining.

It was one of the biggest shocks and took huge getting used to.
At times I found the days very long.
I ģot into the habit of going out...long walks...baby groups.....but it was tedious at times..

It was a huge adjustment and at times, very very lonely.

I didn't have friends with babies either.

I really wanted to stay at home and mind him myself, but during those early days nearly cracked and return to work.

Do not be hard on yourself....it can be a huge transition for some...it definitely was for me.

Read to him, sing to him. They love repition so the same song or book as many times as you want. Peek a boo. Blow bubbles. Make animal noises what does a cat say meow things like that.

Talk to him, doesn’t really matter what about but hearing your voice is great for his development.

Also be kind to yourself x

Could I just say here that babies do not want "entertaining"!
They want to experience day-to-day life, as they will have heard in utero (which is why, incidentally, it is never a good idea to lower the sound level because "the baby is sleeping").
You can talk to them, sing to them, pick them up, put them down, do anything you like, as long as they are not dropping off for a nap.
When they get a bit older you can play peekaboo with them, so that they understand you can disappear, but will come back.
As a PP has said, you can give them wooden spoons, saucepans, again anything you like. They are learning all the time.
A walk to the park or the beach is a learning experience.
Do not feel compelled to be some odd kind of "all singing, all dancing" person. You will feel stressed and they will feel overwhelmed.

I think a lot of your daytime routine can involve interacting with dc - singing or chatting to them while getting them dressed, nappy change etc. Playing games, reading books. Possibly get him a walker so he can start getting about, they're at the age where independent play can start so that's good. Also feeding - giving cubes of cheese or bread etc to try would be good.
Take him for walks in the pushchair, etc.

Honestly op there's no need to push his development just enjoy him. I used to work for a nursery and we were always pushing babies onto the next development and the next - it's just exhausting! And not really beneficial. I would say talking to him is the key thing even if it's just nattering as you cook tea, that will help his speech

Second a lot of what others have said, my DD is 8 months.
At 6 months when in the house we would be In the jumparoo for a while, walks, play mat rolling, practise sitting up, play peek a bo, go upstairs and explore, play in kitchen, sing, some little baby bum on Netflix, play with toys. It's repatitive but gets you through the day. I also find I give an out loud running commentary of everything I do 😂