Has anyone sleep trained a toddler?

[Dizraeli]

From co sleeping and waking up for boob once or twice in the night, to sleeping through in a cot? I moved to co sleeping because I couldn't deal with the sleep deprivation as a single breastfeeding mum, but now I am starting to feel like I need my bed back and it would be nice to be able to leave him with my mum. My son is nearly 17 months so any advice would be massively appreciated

Didn't mean to post in AIBU. I've reported to change category.

No but following with interest. I feel your pain. Mine is 17months too and starts night in his cot but comes in with me sometime between 11-1 and breastfeeds on and off

@motherf88 it's do hard to know what to do for the best. I empathise. I'm getting to a point where I haven't slept through the night for nearly a year and a half and I am exhausted.

Also in the situation where she starts the night in her cot (after a whine) but absolutely refuses to stay in there

We did although he didn't co-sleep. He slept in his own room but usually in the pram as it was the only way I could get him to sleep and he was up a few times a night. At 18 months we needed to do something as I was exhausted.
It was incredibly gentle though as I couldn't bear him crying.
We swapped so that dh did bedtime and then he stayed in the room the first night until ds went to sleep.. He would last him back down again and rub his back briefly saying shh night night. First night was tough but ds wasn't alone and was being comforted just not by who he wanted 😢
Second night was easier and dh lay him down and left room but would go in every min or so. Took about 40 mins at bedtime and ds woke once but was asleep within 10 mins again
Night 3 took less time again and then slept through ..
Was easier than I though it would be.. He turned 2 earlier this month and he now goes to bed without any tears at all.. Tends to play with his teddy in bed for a bit and then goes to sleep himself and sleeps through to between 6-7..

I know people who fell into habits around 18m and had to retrain....

Eg a friend who's baby was sleep trained I think maybe 6-8m old, then was fine for a year then had a major sleep regression and they wound up sleeping on her floor every night. They werent still BF at that age though, so no idea how you deal with that.

Totally following I currently co sleep and she feeds like a new born throughout the night! I’m desperate to get her in a cot and night wean, but I’m just too soft to do anything that makes her cry

I just co slept till they were big enough for a bed. When in their own bed I stayed with them till they were sleeping through the night. Mine both had spells of bad nightmares and one was very sickly so it was easier when they woke, and lessened stress levels all round. I just made sure they're mattresses were comfortable for me. I have to admit I missed them stroking my hair till they feel asleep. My eldest used to pad my back with his feet. Before you know it they'll be slamming the door and telling you not to invade their space.

Are you ready to night wean? Once I refused milk at night (as long at they're growing well, eating well in the day etc) , DS wasn't bothered whether he was near me or not and slept through, as much as I would like to believe otherwise I was essentially just the equivalent of taking snacks to bed! He still feeds before bed in our room then I just put him down in his cot in his room until morning

Oh and I have never done any form of controlled crying/cry it out etc, just offered him water instead of milk, and wore a high neck t shirt and crop top to bed during the transition so he couldn't help himself

Yes I sleep-trained mine at 16 months. Prior to that I was doing whatever I could to avoid him crying before bed or waking up during the night. I would give him a bottle to go to sleep, rock him to sleep, give him a bottle and stick him in my bed when he woke around 1am then give him another bottle when he woke in the early hours (5 or 6am). The co-sleeping became a nightmare with his wriggling and neither of us was getting good sleep. So I enlisted a professional to help me and she gave me a plan which was very gentle and eased us both into sleeping separately. After the first two nights of not getting milk during the night (which were quite stressful) he was totally fine with it. Fast forward 6 weeks and he goes to sleep alone and sleeps all through. I didn’t believe this was possible when I started! Good luck!

This is interesting. I'm in the same boat, single mother, still breastfeeding and co sleeping with 20 month old. Trying to get her into a bedtime routine.

Those that have been successful doing this, how have you done it?

I breastfed and co-slept until a couple of weeks before DS’ second birthday. He always hated the cot and we couldn’t put him down successfully.

I tackled both feeding and sleeping at the same time. He was old enough to be in a toddler bed (though he did fall out a few times in the beginning so we had a mattress on the floor too).

And if I’m honest, I don’t remember it much at all (it wasn’t even a year ago!), but we didn’t let him cry. I think we started it by letting him fall asleep in our arms whilst we were in his room then transfer to the bed. If he woke, we’d go in and just pat his belly.

We then moved on to getting in his bed with him and just cuddling until he went to sleep. Then eventually just sitting on the floor next to him until he dozed off.

I think it took about 1 month before he started fully sleeping through the night and would willingly get into bed without trouble. It took around 4-5 months before we got to a point where we could leave him still awake without him getting upset.

Now he mostly sleeps like a dream (after having 2 years of terrible sleep I can’t understate how grateful I am for this)!

Similar but not breast feeding. At 15 months my son was still asking and getting a bottle still very 3/4 hours a night. I couldn't do cry it out so we went for gentle methods instead and it just took a long time.

We started the process by cutting the 2am feed and replaced with water, then a cuddle and then a pat of the back. It was a tough 3/4 weeks as previously a bottle was 10 mins of effort vs what could be an hour. So I know i am talking bottle feeding but i guess the approach it's substituting the preferred options for a less preferred rather than cold turkey.

Also - being on your own at nights it tough. Can someone help you in the day to recover energy to be ready for tough nights while you sleep train?

I co slept with mine first until one year and she still woke up once a night to bf, however I had to have surgery when she was just over a year old and was unable to bf for 24 hours. She screamed at me for 2 hours trying to get boob while refusing a bottle which she happily took during the day. That's when we decided it was time for her to sleep on her own. As she clearly only took the boob for comfort. We started by putting the cot next to our bed, without one side on, this didn't work never well. She was used to being rocked to sleep or fed to sleep. So we moved the cot into her own room, we did do the cry it out method, going back in every 2, 5, 10, 15, and 20 minutes. It took three days the first night she cried for 2 hours 40 minutes and it was the hardest night. Night 2 was 30 minutes, night 3 she went straight to sleep and 1 year later she continues to sleep through the night. She continued to feed when she wanted to including I the morning and last thing at night. And at about 20 months started to only bf twice a week when she wanted to. Though now DD2 has arrived she has decided she needs to bf whenever my 6 weeks old does (she is two), so I have limited her to first thing in the morning.