If someone said to you,

[OhioOhioOhio]

'I feel like a child.'

How would you take it?

I hope I'd understand how you feel.

It was a lovely, well intentioned gesture, hang on to that.

Your life will change for the better in time, you'll see. You have a great family by the sound of it.

I understand - you're sick of people making decisions for you and you having to be grateful of other people's 'generosity'.
Did you tell them how you felt? Did they respond badly?

It depends on the gift

Did they buy you a house, but they picked it?

Was there a reason they picked this house?

Do you need supported living, so they picked this one?

Or just picked one they felt was best?

It's all very confusing and not sure why your exh is involved at all.

But in general, it normal for people to not know about a surprise gift before hand.

I feel like a child - I feel like becoming a parent

I feel like a child - I feel vulnerable and insecure about something, please reassure me

I feel like a child - this surprise is so fabulous, I feel young and carefree

I feel like a child - you have said something and patronised me.

Context is everything

yeah i'd feel weird if everyone clubbed together behind my back to do something to "help me out" - ie pay for something that normal people pay for themselves.

Like maybe my parents offering me money for a deposit would be okay, a discussion to be had, but if they banded with others and organised it as a done deal, here is a new rental place for example i'd feel very odd and left out. Like they can decide things for me and my input wasn't necessary.

But if it was just something like a painting or something? or a spa weekend for me, I'd be less annoyed. Unless it was really naff painting (as really I'd prefer to chose my own expensive type gifts, as have my own taste)

Let them know how you feel, even in an email or text, starting with a thank you then be honest. Your feelings are valid.
Thing's will change for you they always do for everyone.

I really can't get my head around why you would be annoyed about 'not being involved in this 'surprise' gift and being equally annoyed about not being ' consulted ' . Who on earth consults or includes the recipient in the organising of a gift. ?

You really really do need to calm down a bit and realise how lucky you are to be so well loved.

It has all been meant with absolute kindness. I just feel like such a failure and it was so totally unexpected. I'm a bitch probably. I'm also signing out for now. Thank you everyone.