AIBU to ask for advice Re yoi/prison visit tomorrow

[Mrscaptainraymondholt]

Hi all, am looking for some general advice and guidance as I am torn over this issue!!

My 20 year old son is currently in a Yoi for a non violent offence, he went in in Sept and will hopefully be out in June on a tag until October. He was previously in a mainstream prison 20 mins away but in January was moved to a YOI 2 hours away.

He can have 4 visits a month and these are shared between me, his father, his girlfriend and his friends.

We have been given a chance to attend a family visit day tomorrow (Monday) which is less formal and is for about 5 hours as opposed to the usual 1-2 hours, and myself, his girlfriend and his 10 year old sibling are booked in (I have school permission for this absence as the sibling has anxiety issues and would really benefit from seeing their brother). My son is also struggling at present and the YOI only lets the young men out of their cells for 45 mins a day so this is a big deal for him and his mental well-being.

Here’s the problem..... I have quite bad chronic asthma, coeliac disease, high blood pressure and an under active thyroid and am considered vulnerable for the effects of Coronavirus. I have been working From home this week and mainly plan to continue this week (but have 1-2 meetings I should attend). I am the only driver in my family too so am relied on to ferry people around and would be driving to and from the YOI tomorrow, public transport is not an option for the others attending.

So here is my AIBU....

AIBU to still be considering going to the YOI family visit tomorrow or should I cancel .... YANBU = go
AIBU = don’t go

Many thanks

I would go. There won't be contact so you can socially distance yourself. Wash hands, take gel. Change clothes when get home and immediately wash. 45 minutes a day! That's awful.

Of course you should go.

Can you son ask for a transfer to somewhere else?

I would definitely go and take appropriate cautions. Washing your hands, trying not to touch things etc.

Yes do go. Biggest risk would be public transport but you've mitigated that.

You must go - just be vigilant about hand washing etc.

Yes go, I wouldn't consider cancelling.

Thank you! This is what I am thinking.... not going worries me as I was reading that elsewhere when visiting was suspended, there was an increase in suicides.....

He has requested a transfer back to the local prison but it’s prioritising adults Not 18-21 year olds And has limited space so not very likely... his YOI has a terrible reputation and rubbish inspections but people don’t care about that and so nothing changes and the prison service is so short staffed that keeping them locked up is easier to manage although it produces a time bomb waiting to go off! He starts a course next week which should give him a couple of hours a day out of his cell but that might be cancelled if staff are unwell...

To be honest, a prison is probably a low risk place to go while they don't have corona and you might find that they stop visits in the next few weeks anyway because it would be a disaster if many staff and inmates got infected.

I would go. The family days are much nicer than a normal visit and it will give him a real boost. Doubt they will move him if he due to be released on tag in June. Moves are a lot of work for the service.

You just need to get him through to June.

Risk is quite low I would have thought and you could maybe phone ahead re ensuring what measures they are taking to clean/provide soap etc and see whether they have any known cases there.

Go. On the balance of risks, the risk to his mental well-being is greater than the risk of Covid at this time.

In between times, you could also step up the letter writing. Prisoners look forward to four things in their daily routine: meals, letters, visits and association. It sounds like there is precious little association already (and this will get worse if coronavirus starts affecting staffing levels) and there is nothing you can do about the food, but even if you only scribble a few words on a postcard, it will put a smile on his day.

Yes, I know someone will be along in a moment to point out that the virus can survive for two days on paper but as long as he washes his hands properly, it will be fine.

Meant to add that I spend 27 years patrolling the landings so I know what a difference a letter or postcard makes.

They don't always get the actual letter sent anyway, but a photocopy, because some people soak drugs into paper as a way of getting them into prison.

I would go. I don't think I could ask my dc to miss something like that, despite the risk.

Agree, go. Take the right precautions before and after the visit and make sure he does the same. Then try and relax and enjoy the visit. Family visits are much much better than normal ones and will probably do you all good.

Thank you everyone! It is so much appreciated!

I’ll definitely step up the writing too and we can also send emails (they print them to give to the prisoners)

I would take precautions but would still visit as you are likely to be one of the ones asked to self isolate and won't be able to visit.

As you can email can you put photos in them and make them newslike for him so he feels included in your daily lives.