Friend as a boss

[newnamewhosthis]

Not really an AIBU more of a WWYD.

My closest friend is DP's cousin we met through him early in our relationship and hit it off. We are very close and I consider her my best friend.

She works for a sector I would love to work in, she is a hiring manager and a vacancy has came up in my field and she has said I should apply. This would be a fantastic opportunity for me if I should get the job.(which she has stated I would need to apply for and go through interview panel for) However she would be my line manager i don't want to ruin our relationship wwyd ?

I think we could remain professional but DP is not sold on the idea does anybody have any experience, what are your thoughts?

Don't do it.

Search on askamanager.org - some positives and a bunch of horror stories.

Happened to a friend of mine. Her friend she worked with became her boss after a few years. It got really awkward.
Boss pulling her up on things or correcting her work.

Office issues became all that was spoken about .. The friendship was effectively ruined.

You also have the added annoyance of your partner being a relative too.

All too close, what if you don’t get the job? Try another company

@northernlittledonkey she hasn't promised me the job, she has just said I would be a good fit and to apply. She will be part of the interview process should I get on along with 2 other managers.

Imy concern would only be if I got the job she would be my line manager

Yes, I still wouldn’t do it, it’s bound to be tricky.

I've done it. We kept professional and personal very separate. Don't talk about work outside of it, and vice versa. Guess it depends on the relationship tho, I can see how it could get very messy

I manage one of my best friends. It is very difficult. They are underperforming, and I am picking up the slack as it would look bad on both of us if their key deliverables weren’t met.

Btw it wasn’t through choice. We weren’t in the same team, until we restructured the department and I won first prize - a dozen extra staff to manage, increased responsibility and a “development opportunity” rather than increased pay!

Fuckers

Ah no.
I used to work for a guy who recruited me, then we had a restructure/merger which meant we were alongside each other in different teams and equal - meaning I got to hear all his whinging and complaining. Then my boss left and he took over and ohhh it was awkward.

I wouldn’t do it.

I think the general consensus is not to do it which is disappointing.

I don't know if this would make much difference but it's a big wage jump which would allow me to afford to change from part time to full time hours in terms of childcare.

I think I need to have a long think about things

I did it, and it was fine

Go for it, you can buy new friends

The old adage about "Business and Pleasure " never mixing the two comes to mind here . There are too many possibilities for things to go wrong . If you are working for her that instantly gives her power over you, and the dynamics of your friendship would be damaged .Also DH would be a kind of piggy in the middle if you fell out .Are you unhappy in your current job ?I would stay there if not ,and look elsewhere if you want to .Dont touch with a bargepole!

Would strongly advise that you don't do it, for everyone's sake.

I've got two friends in my team, one manages the other and the one being managed has huge performance issues. Of course his manager hasn't done anything about it because they're mates and now our service is screwed as a result.

Breeds huge resentment and over burdens the rest of the team - it isn't really possible to
manage your friends in a way that is fair to the other team members whether you think it is or not.

I would think about it in order to get into the industry but with a view to moving organisations within a set timescale ( after a year for example) but with the knowledge that the friendship might change.

I hired a friend of a friend and it was an absolute disaster. Really regret it. She had completely unrealistic expectations of the role and actually went for my job during a restructure (she didn’t get it!). One of the most stressful times of my life!
I did work for a friend about a decade ago though and it worked really well because there was minimal professional interaction - he was two rungs above me so was just a friendly face around the place.
I guess it depends on size of team/organisation?

What Divebar said is good advice!

Thing is it can work but you have to be really careful. My dad employed both my brothers (so a bit different), my eldest brother was good worker progressed through the company on his own merit.. My younger brother took the piss because his dad was the boss.
It spilled in to family life and only really got sorted when my dad fired him.
I'm not saying you would be like this but my dad said he'd never employ family again.

How would you feel about her, as your manager: correcting your work, speaking to you about performance issues, having one to ones and appraisals with her, doing things that a manager might do? Would it feel awkward if she said something you didn’t like? Would you be able to keep it separate?

It would change the friendship OP.

How badly do you want the job? Good friends are hard to come by. I would not do it personally.

I have a friend who is a manager in my firm. She doesn’t manage me but I know her style of management would bother me and our friendship wouldn’t survive if she were my manager.

My sil got me a job in her office and it was a disaster. She wasn't even my manager but we worked closely together and things she did wrong in her job directly affected my job. There was only so many times I could bite my tongue before I had to say something as she was making me look incompetent. She didnt take it well.

l also know many people who's friendships broke up over similar instances.

It sounds like you really want the job and were hoping to come on here and be reassured it would be alright. Sadly in the majority of cases, business and pleasure dont mix.

I've done it twice and would not recommend it. The first job I became close friends with my manager and it ended pretty badly after I was being left to do most of her work whilst she slacked off and knew I wouldn't make a fuss.
Another job my friend hired me and was my manager. She was jealous of my pregnancy and made going to appointments difficult and snide comments here and there.

I have worked for a friend and found that she was a completely different person as a boss - and it wasn't good. We have managed to stay friends since I left, but I know that she has been very critical to others about my performance when I worked for her, which is upsetting. Fortunately it doesn't have much of an impact on what I do now, but she's quite influential in her field and occasionally I meet people for work who know her and I never know what she might have told them about me.

Can you ask your friend to give you pointers on the best way to get into the industry, or introductions to others, rather than working for her directly?