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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to decline soft play invitation last minute

67 replies

Beanbag12 · 14/03/2020 20:08

A bit of an AIBU and a WWYD.

My DS who’s 3 has a birthday party to go to tomorrow at a local soft play centre. The Mum who arranged the party messaged everyone yesterday about what time to turn up etc and I thanked her for the invitation and said my son is excited. It seems a lot has developed over the last 24 hours in the news etc and now I‘m really concerned about putting DS and myself at unnecessary risk of catching Corona Virus.

WIBU to not take him? WWYD?

YABU= take him
YANBU=it’s not worth the risk

OP posts:
OhCaptain · 14/03/2020 21:00

Yes it probably was. But it could have easily been cancelled!

luckylavender · 14/03/2020 21:02

No way would I take a child to soft play. It's like a Petri dish full of germs.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 14/03/2020 21:06

I wouldn't. They never strike me as being that clean at the best of times. I just think if the kids get it they might be asymptomatic but they might pass it on to someone vulnerable. It's a small risk, granted, but one l won't be taking.

Rosebel · 14/03/2020 21:09

No I wouldn't. They are always full of germs anyway which usually doesn't bother me but at the moment it's not worth the risk. I'm pretty sure you won't be the only one who decides not to go.

FuzzyPenguin · 14/03/2020 21:10

My DS’ birthday party is booked in a soft play for the start of April. If the schools are still open I will go ahead with it, if they are shut then will postpone or cancel it depends if he would prefer another treat with the money. I have already spoken to the parents of the invited kids and soda I understand if they don’t want to bring them and that’s ok they can let me know on the day.

TheFuzzyStar · 14/03/2020 21:13

We are going to one tomorrow.

Ivebeentohellanditscalledikea · 14/03/2020 21:14

I'd take them but I'm a bit laid back about that kind of thing. I would obviously self isolate if I had symptoms but still have to keep living and all of us are probably going to catch it at some point.

Treaclepie19 · 14/03/2020 21:18

We went to one today. Only because it was my closest friend and I didn't want to let them down.
Saying that, they were on top of the hygiene there. Everything was constantly being cleaned and they encouraged lots of handwashing. All children were made to wash before eating.

With that said, I won't be taking him to any more now for a good while.

Original poster
Beanbag12 · 14/03/2020 21:29

Thank you for all your responses. I agree with those who say soft plays aren’t the same as schools because they might contain people not so stringent on their hygiene. This particular soft play is quite new and clean apparently, so that’s one thing going for it. You can’t see germs though can you.

Yes I will be taking him to nursery next week all being well. I am going to risk assess and see how things go next week to whether I take him or not.

One of the party tomorrow I know is being self isolated. It’s all getting a bit real!

OP posts:
MintyMabel · 14/03/2020 21:31

Yes yabu, you could get this virus anywhere at the moment, there is no government advice to cancel soft play, parties or anything else.

Yes you can get it anywhere. But soft plays are a fetid breeding ground for germs at the best of times, I wouldn’t go anywhere near them at the moment. You can be blasé if you wish, but sensible precautions like avoiding places which are rammed full of people if you don’t have to go is a wise move.

MintyMabel · 14/03/2020 21:32

All children were made to wash before eating.

Shame this isn’t standard practice anyway.

Original poster
Beanbag12 · 14/03/2020 21:34

That being said, I feel mortified at the idea of not going at the last minute 😥

OP posts:
lachy · 14/03/2020 21:34

DD has been invited to a party at soft play next week. I bumped into the Mum today and she said she wasn't sure whether to cancel but she's giving it some serious thought.

Soft play is a germ ridden hell hole at the best of times, and I'm not keen on them at the best of times, let alone now.

I don't think yabu to decline, and I don't think you will be the only one.

cocomelon23 · 14/03/2020 21:36

I wouldn't cancel.

Kuponut · 14/03/2020 21:39

DD2 had one at a trampoline place today. Wouldn't have felt cross with anyone who chose not to come but those who said they were coming did so. Lot more spread out than the average soft play though at least.

Was gently building DD up that people might not come (she's been following the virus - and Trump getting "orangerer" in age appropriate ways) but I left it up to the families concerned to decide what was best for them.

switswoo81 · 14/03/2020 21:42

Goodness I'm in Ireland so our schools are closed and so are all the softplays local to us. We have been advised no playdates and to remain at home as much as possible that children are the biggest carriers of the virus.
Social.media over here is absolutely getting behind this with everyone taggj b pics with "stay at home" and I would be too embarrassed to even bring my kids to a shop.

inselfisolationnow · 14/03/2020 21:46

@switswoo81 has the Irish government actually said that children are the biggest carriers?

switswoo81 · 14/03/2020 21:53

Sorry I typed up quickly evident by the many mistakes I meant to say one of the biggest. They are transmitters of the virus and their is a huge push here for social distancing and keeping children away from other children and older people so they don't pass it on to.older people.
The advice for the schools closingis a walk or fresh air every day but in an open place like a beach or woods.

Galvantula · 14/03/2020 22:04

Having most likely caught norovirus at a soft play last year, I'd be staying away for the foreseeable!

I hate the germ infested shitholes anyway though.

MaomiMak · 14/03/2020 22:05

Oh good God make a decision

TorysSuckRevokeArticle50 · 14/03/2020 22:07

I'd go, soft play is no more or less germ filled than nursery or school. The germs are passed by the germ ridden children who hug, kiss, sneeze on, cough on......... each other and everything they touch.

lorrainerose · 14/03/2020 22:09

I'm really chilled about the virus even though iv had a family member with it (had no contact with them prior to them falling ill) but soft plays make me feel ill even under normal circumstances! I really hope this prompts them to undergo a deep clean! All I will say is that IF you go make sure you take DS to wash his hands prior to eating. Village hall parties etc I think are okay for now as they're exclusive to a set of people with whom you're already mixing with but soft play you've people from across many schools/nurseries.

Msmcc1212 · 14/03/2020 22:10

I’m surprised they are going ahead. No way would I go to soft play at the moment. I’m not concerned if I catch it but about the exponential spread and the impact on NHS services. YANBU. It’s your choice and as a country we have more to worry about than some hurt feelings. I’m sure she will understand.

Msmcc1212 · 14/03/2020 22:15

Maomi if you are irritated by these posts then there are plenty of others to look at. We are in uncertain times and it can be helpful to share dilemmas. Please don’t make posters feel bad for reaching out. As we all will be needing to see people IRL less and less, we will need forums like this more and more and they need to be safe and encouraging spaces so that we all feel supported.

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai llama. Smile

NoClarification · 14/03/2020 22:18

Schools and nurseries also have the same kids there every day, give or take, so the risk is relatively contained. Soft play will have kids and their parents from all over the area, bringing germs from all over the shop, and all mingling on play equipment involving a lot of physical contact. Very different to school! I wouldn't touch with a bargepole right now.