To "travel" to see ILs and share news in person?

[EngineerChick]

I live in Canada, and where we live, schools (both mandated age and post-secondary) are closed to student attendance. Many workplaces are adjusting attendance and the first confirmed COVID-19 cases have jus been confirmed locally (within 50km).

My DH was just diagnosed with cancer yesterday. It is not an aggressive cancer, but also not one that has a cure for any patient. We are planning to travel 200km tomorrow to share this information with his parents in person tomorrow. He will be starting treatment in the next week.

I am of 2 minds. They are in their mid-80s, and if either were to get ill, it could be catastrophic. On the other hand, this is information that is best shared in person.

AIBU to be a little concerned about going to see them?

I’m very sorry about your dh.
Can you FaceTime them? I’m not sure it’s worth the risk and might work out doing it over the phone as they will have time to digest the news? Very difficult for you both

How will you be travelling? I’d be less likely to risk it on public transport than if you’re driving your own car.

Sorry to hear of your DHs diagnosis

And your are not BU!

We are travelling in our own car, and will not be stopping en route in either direction.

Unfortunately, ILs are not tech savvy, so Skype/FaceTime are not an option.

We talked (DH and I) about a phone call, but sometimes it isn't enough. I will insist that we don't hug etc., but DH and I have talked a lot about it, and feel that we are choosing the lesser of all evils.

I suspect they have a feeling something is amiss. He has lost quite a bit of weight and been run down. You can only blame so much on shift work.

So sorry to hear what you are going through. For me it depends on how you are intending to travel there, if on public transport I would facetime. If not then I would go to them. Also assuming neither of you have any symptoms or have knowingly come into contact with anyone that does? To hear such news will be devastating to them and they may want to be able to physically comfort their child. Your dh may need that too as well as you.

Yanbu but I would assess the risks. If your inlaws go out anyway they may unknowingly come into contact with someone who has it anyway.