Pet advice

[Pleasenohate]

Hi! This is my first time posting anything on mumsnet but I really need advice. What I am going to talk about is a sensitive subject but I really need some opinions on this.

Basically I am a single mum with three cats. The eldest cat is eleven and the younger two are coming up three years old. They have all been loved and cared for, micro-chipped and neturerd etc.

The eldest cat is lovely and cuddly, but she hates the other cats that I have. She spends most of the time upstairs and never goes out (there is a cat flap but she refuses to go downstairs because of the other cats). When she does see the other cats (if they come upstairs) she attacks them, often for no other reason than them walking past her.

When I got the other cats I genuinely thought she would like them and they would be okay, but this hasn't been the case. Now I feel sorry for her as I don't think she is happy with only access to half the house, not going outside etc. When it was just her she was much happier but I persisted in trying to get them all to get along but I don't think they ever will :(

The other two cats get along really well they were from the same litter. They go in and out as they please and I have no concerns with them and their happiness levels.

My issue is the elder cat being unhappy and I have had a massive drop in finances since getting the two younger cats. However if I had of seen this coming I wouldn't of committed to having them but this has genuinely come out of the blue.

Their food each week takes a large chunk out of my now budget and I cannot afford to insure them or have them in the healthy pet club (vaccinations, worming and flea treatment etc). For all three of them it would be the best part of £100 pcm.

It breaks my heart writing this as I love them all dearly. But one of the younger cats had to have blood tests done recently (results came back fine luckily) but it cost over £200. If something major was to go wrong with any of them I have no idea what I would do.

My question is: would I be the most awful person in the world to rehome them to someone who could afford them? For instance be able to afford insurance premiums and vaccinations etc? I would have to ensure that the older cat went to a home with NO other animals but the younger two would be kept together as they get along really well. I can't even believe I am writing this. I have always been one of those super judgmental people who bangs on about pets being for life but I can't afford to keep them healthy and insured so I think it may be better for them to go somewhere where they would be.

Disclaimer: If I do rehome them I wouldn't give them to anyone. House checks would be done, or I would use the cats protection or some other similar charity to ensure they go somewhere safe and geniuine - a forever home. I also have no family or friends who would be able to have them.

Thanks for everyones time in reading this. Please no hate as this is extremely difficult for me but I keep worrying about if one of them gets poorly and my older one not being happy etc. I also have a son who is 8. He would be devastated to see them go but I have no idea what to do or where to turn.

Many thanks
xxx

Do you have any friends or family that could take them?

Unfortunately many people don’t realise cats are mostly solitary, and don’t actually need “company”, which is why most get more than one. It doesn’t work particularly in small homes or areas with lots of cats as they simply can’t have enough space to carve out a territory.

I’ve been where you are. Mine were siblings, and while they slept together, played together etc, the territorial stress showed in spraying, scratching etc. I tried everything, but in the end the vet said the only way to destress them was to rehome two to individual homes.

I was lucky and my brother took one and a friend took the other. The difference in behaviour was so clear I swore i’d only ever have one cat at a time.

I’m on a breed rescue fb group and the most common reason for rehoming is they introduced a new cat to keep an original one company and it was a disaster.

Phone round a few rescues- you may be able to keep them at home while the rescue finds new owners.

This is a very difficult situation but I believe that your duty lies with your older cat who is obviously unhappy with the current situation. If you decide to rehome the other two, please please do it through a proper charity, even if you do a home check there is absolutely no guarantee that your cats will end up in that home.

I rehomed a old cat once as she just couldn't cope with our new baby. I asked around friends and family and found a home where she was pampered till the end of her days. She lived a very long life with them and was much happier with them than she would have been with us. They took her on a trial basis first in case her behaviour issues persisted, but thankfully they didn't.

Could you afford to keep the older cat ? The older they are the harder they are to re-home. Then if you contacted a rescue centre I’m sure a home could be found for the siblings as they’re younger.
And fwiw - don’t feel bad. Circumstances do change and you’re trying to solve the problem by asking for help. It’s a very difficult situation.

@bluebluezoobluebluezoo - I have no one who I could whole heartedly trust to take care of them fully! Including vaccinations, monthly flea treatment, insurance etc. I am worried too if I gave them to a friend or family they may change their mind and pass them on to somebody else. Admittedly I am beating myself up about it as I never considered I would have to rehome them! I think I am going to call a few charities on monday and see what they advise! Thank you for your message. xx

@MetallicPaints You are right. I am going to contact some charities on monday and see how the process actually works and how they screen the people interested in having them etc. Many thanks xx

@InArrears That is really reassuring! I can imagine that gave you so much relief. It's heart breaking having to rehome them xx

@Chocolatecake12 I can't afford any of them anymore. I am so upset about it. I've had the older one since I was in school! I am going to speak to the charities and see how likely she is to be rehomed and work it out from there! Thanks for the reassurance xx

It's not selfish to get them nice loving new homes.
It would be horrible to dump them on the streets. Your plan is nice not horrible, I don't see how you need to feel any guilt.

I had to rehome a cat in similar circumstances. It was the olde4 cat in my case, he went to live out his life in absolute bliss with a friend from work and his mum. Pampered beyond belief and so much happier.

Two young healthy cats will be rehomed quickly. Our local shelter would let adopters know and give them your address to look. But ask around too.

The older one doesn't sound happy so it would be the kindest thing to do. Plus if you can't afford them, you can't afford them.

They will put the older one to sleep.

Hi OP, I took one of my cats to Cats Protection last Friday to be rehomed bc my other cat wasn't getting on with him, and he's been reserved already. I totally trust them to have found him a decent new owner.

You're absolutely justified in rehoming all of them if you can't afford to keep them, as well. I think there is a site called cat chat? which will list shelters and rescues in your area - speak to as many as you can about the older cat? 11 isn't ancient though..