I have a friend who's pursuing someone who's been in a relationship for a few years (though whether it was a few months or few years it would be the same).
I see that she has very low self-esteem. She said that she doesn't like apps and doesn't meet men IRL. She's placing all her hope on this one man.
I want to help her to see that she can meet other people. If this guy is a bit 'off' one day or doesn't reply to a text, it ruins her whole day and puts her on edge.
She's known him and been seeing him almost daily for almost a year now.
I have told her today that she can do a lot better, that there is no point in waiting around for something that may not happen. A guy she liked ghosted her last year and she said it's taken her a year to get over it.
I have told her that some people want to have the best of both worlds, he wants to have the girlfriend i.e. The security blanket, and then the ego boost of a girl who he knows fancies him.
It's wrong to go after someone taken, and honestly if he's still with his girlfriend after almost a year, then it's highly unlikely he's going to leave her for my friend.
She replied saying that "Feelings cannot be controlled, and you'd know something about that, wouldn't you." which was a little below the belt.
Then she said "We won't talk about it anymore", but she has said this and ends up talking about it.
I used to be very low in confidence like her, but this guy must know she fancies him and it's been almost a year that nothing has happened.
Was I a bit too harsh ? I guess there is nothing else I can do.