Had surgery and feeling down

[HandonHeart2019]

Not really an AIBU but could do with a little hand hold.

I had my gallbladder removed yesterday, after a year of waiting. Everything went fine and I'm glad it's over and done with.

But I'm really struggling today. I've been given painkillers which are helping, but have obviously been told not to do any lifting for a few weeks. My fiancée has taken a week and a half off work to look after our DS who's one.

But all he's wanted today is me. Holding his arms up for me to pick him up, crying for me all day. It's so hard, because I'm still in pain, sleeping on and off, and he's so full on. He's just started walking, running and climbing. I feel like a terrible mother, because he doesn't understand why I'm not being my normal self.

I know it's early days and it will get better, but it's so hard looking at his little face and not being able to pick him up for a cuddle. Has anyone else had experience with this? How long does it normally take to recover?

Aww hugs to you. I had mine removed in October with a 5 month old baby. She was also always wanting me. I’d cuddle her when she was tired and not kicking etc on the sofa next to me (getting someone else to place her there). It is hard. I think for me I felt okay after about a week - 10 days but I didn’t lift for the full 2 weeks as advised. You’re not a bad mum though at all. And 2 weeks is a short period of time really (although it doesn’t feel it at the time). Your son will have forgotten soon enough.

I had mine out last month. The stitches were very uncomfortable for about 5 days, I was surprised to be in pain for some reason!

After 3 days I moved from bed to sofa but still couldn't bend/move too much. But I think after about 5 days I didn't need codeine anymore, just ibuprofen. It was about a week and a half before I felt like I could move properly again.

Top tip: buy laxative tea from Holland and Barrett. Lactulose and senna did nothing, and I didn't not enjoy the added discomfort of raging codeine induced constipation in addition to the wound pain.

Also just to add the anaesthetic can leave you feeling blue too. Take your time, get plenty of rest and you'll soon be feeling more chipper.

Can you put a big bandage around you somewhere, even around your head??, to make it clear that 'MUMMY IS POORLY'.

I had mine taken out when I had a 3 year old and a 1 year old - the first week was tough (a few days after I honestly felt like I was in a pit of depression but I think that was the anesthetic as it wore off quickly!) but I was pretty much absolutely fine within 10 days. Hang in there!

And also - DH pretty much completely kept the children away from me for a few days so I could recover without worrying about picking them up or whatever. They’d come in for a quick cuddle a couple of times a day but that was it. It’s hard but very short term.

Get your fiancé to make arrangements to take him out while you’re still so sore. It’s not fair to you, you’re less than 24 hours post surgery! He needs to do much much better.

YANBU to feel sad you don’t feel up to hugging your son. YABU to not be cross with fiancé for not taking the reins.

Thank you all for the replies! I know it doesn't last forever it's just so tough right now. Your replies are really helping

My fiancé has been doing a fab job, but it's a rather small house and been tipping it down where we are 🙄 So not much chance to get out unfortunately. Hopefully the weather is better tomorrow so they can go to the park as planned 😁

I had my gallbladder out on Tuesday. Already feeling a lot better, only the belly button stitches are giving me pain now but it's bearable. Broke my heart when my 10 month old granddaughter held her arms out for me to pick her up and she look so confused when I didn't.
Two weeks seems a long time but it really isn't. Hopefully your fiancé can spend lots of 1 to 1 time with your son to give you your much needed rest.

How are you feeling today OP?