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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feeling guilty

2 replies

lilalu · 12/03/2020 21:58

So long time lurker but first time poster. And only because I actually feel completely unsure about whether I am being unreasonable here. So I am based in Germany. My husband is in sales and travels a lot for work. Which has never been a problem for us.

But this week, I was really concerned about him a) going for a 3-day ski trip to Austria with clients and b) attending a one-day conference in the south of Germany!!! (Why it wasn't cancelled I don't know...)

So the ski thing, I kinda sucked it up and lived with it. But I was DEFINITELY not happy with the conference and all that comes with it. And tonight, I called him and he told me that he is not coming home directly tomorrow but staying a couple of hours longer to discuss some things with his boss. And I cracked the shits and told him he HAS TO come home, that he can discuss whatever he needs to discuss via phone/conference, and basically emotionally manipulated him into returning first thing tomorrow morning.

Which he did. But now I feel crap - because I am not usually emotionally manipulative. Because I am usually supportive of his career. Because a couple of hours more probably won't make a difference to his exposure. And I don't want his boss to think bad of him.

But on the other hand, I really don't understand how anything could be SO CRITICAL that it cant be done via modern technology??? Especially when all these countries are taking such extreme measures - and it feels like these men (husband works in a very male-dominated industry) just want to prove how tough they are or something...

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 12/03/2020 22:06

I think you can be forgiven this time OP.

As you said, you're not an emotionally manipulative person. You don't make a habit of it.

Many people are in a panic over this as it's not somthing most of us have ever had to experience before. Not at this level anyway.

Notimeforaname · 12/03/2020 22:09

And also, you were just concerned about his health and yours.

Don't be too hard on yourself. It's a scary time for a lot of people.

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