Posting here for traffic.
DP is suffering from extremely low mental health. He can swing from moody, to emotional to angry and frustrated within minutes. He sees no positives in anything in our lives. Everything is really overwhelming for him.
He's also either not listening or he's not fully processing what is being said. Two days ago I asked him to do something to do with my business that he had only done a few times before so I gave step by step instructions. He did pretty much every step exactly the opposite of what I said. He believes he did everything exactly as I said.
He's also swinging between wanting to go to the doctor and change his medication, which is obviously not working, and a complete refusal to leave the house.
He's become very regimented in terms of the housework. Everything has to be done in a very particular way, and if I do something even a little differently, it's a disaster. He will reclean whatever I've cleaned because I didn't do it in the exact way he does. Or he'll refold laundry, or rewash a dish because I didn't rinse it fully.
His sleep pattern is all over the place. Hes convinced himself that as I'm currently working nights, and I work from home, I'm not doing anything at night. He seems to think that he's the only person in the world who does any work or housework. However in the next breath he'll ask where the extra money in our joint account came from.
This is going to sound horrible and unsupportive, but I'm finding it really difficult to want to be around him. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around the house because he's either going to snap at me, refuse to talk to me, or have an emotional breakdown. And nothing I say or do seems to make any difference no matter which response I've provoked by crossing his path.
He's said that he's jealous of dcat. I'll admit that due to my work pattern at the moment, I'm spending a lot more time with dcat, but also, dcat doesn't make me feel the same amount of pressure, if that makes sense. Dcat is my relax button, and I need that.
When I do try to spend time with dp, he doesn't want to watch TV or a movie, he doesn't want to eat at the same time as me, he doesn't want to talk, or he just doesn't want to be in the same room as other people.
Visiting friends is a no-go, and people coming to us unexpectedly is worse. He's ok for maybe ten minutes but then he'll either hint or outright say that it's time for them to leave.
He's worrying about everything - from things that are genuinely worries, to things that really aren't. Today's worries ranged from dcat not liking his cat food (he does) to the coronavirus to the cost of university (my dc are early teens, his DC are primary school aged) to not finding a matching sock when sorting laundry. If there isn't anything to worry about, he'll basically make up things to worry about, or worry about things that haven't happened and might never happen.
He starts CBT next week, which is good, but he does a very good impression of being 'normal' when he's around other people. So I'm concerned that he won't feel like he can tell the therapist exactly what's been happening or how he's feeling and thinking.
I'm a very practical, problem solving sort of person, but I have no more ideas on how to help him, or what to do.
I've tried talking to him about how he's feeling, and how I'm feeling, but it doesn't seem to be registering with him.
I just don't know what else to do, or say. If anyone has any suggestions, or experiences I'd love to have some other input. Also apologies for the super long post!