Hi all,
My ex(husband) was arrested for a controlling behaviour couple of month ago. Since then he voluntarily moved out because he didn’t want to get in trouble. He used to threaten me with verbally, gaslighting, calling me all sorts and knife and fork threat toward me, punch things, ripping his clothes, punch himself, swears. I am not British and he threatened me to ring the home office, saying I have to leave the UK in two months time(only because he was hungry, saying starve to death just right after he had lunch I made, kept humiliating that I cannot cook, I cannot speak English). He threatened me using my DS that he shouldn’t speak my language in the house, he cannot go to language school on Saturdays to learn his mum’s language. He even threatened me that he doesn’t even know DS is his child when I was pregnant and told me that he won’t support the baby ever. But I fell trapped at that time: I got married, pregnant, pushed to buy a house so I bought a house in cash, my passport was at the home office for a spouse visa). If he was saying the truth, I had to leave the country and he will have everything as we were just got married(I know how stupid I was but I believed what he said). Uhmm, people who experienced this type of relationship can imagine what I had to deal with.
Anyhow, we agreed verbally I look after my son Mon-Sat and he looks after around 4pm on Saturday until Sunday 7pm and he can see our child any time he wants. so he saw my DS every single day for a month after he begged me he cannot live without him, he still loves me, etc. and then after that he refused to see DS everyday but only once during the week, saying it’s not worth seeing his own child for 2 hours.(when he sees my DS, I still have to feed him before he comes to pick my DS up saying he wants 100% quality time(feeding, homework aren’t quality time in his book).
Now, he wants one or two nights during the week and every other weekend instead of every weekend, saying I have to look after half at the weekend too and also he has to do things at the weekend.
I of course refused it because my son is only 5(reception) and since the separation, DS is well routined which was impossible when we lived together. I really don’t want my DS sleep here and there during the week time (I offered him he can look after DS as many days he wants when it’s holiday or at the weekend but he didn’t want).
I was the person who did all since my DS was born, now suddenly my ex wants to take him to school during the week, never interested in my son’s schooling and still. But he wants 50:50 custody.
he asked me so many times when are you going to divorce and I actually couldn’t decide and tried to be amicable but all of a sudden, I got a letter through someone last night that he applied for prohibited steps order with child arrangement , expecting that he will have 50% of DS life as well as save regular payment for child maintenance. Also prevent from me to take my son to my country to see my family.
I had hysterectomy after DS so he is my whole life and I have no one here in the UK. Now I cannot even take my child to see my family. I am very stuck in this country, have no job.
I can’t sleep and really don’t know what to do. I have my solicitor but when I saw others posts, the Court doesn’t seem to be interested in Child’s needs.